It Begins...

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I slowly opened my eyes, only to see nothing but pure darkness. Slowly I lifted my head as the cold air hit my cheek, bit I ignored it and kept looking around in an attempt to find something which could reveal where I was.

I was about to lift myself up from the madras under me, when a pair of holds suddenly locked themselves around my shoulder and forced my down again. I felt my face hit something warm again, when I slowly looked up. A few seconds went by as my eyes slowly started to adjust themselves and I saw Kris looking down at me with a smirk on his lips.

“Why aren’t you sleeping?” He asked and slowly adjusted himself so he was sitting probably again.

“Because I just woke up,” I answered and continued to look around, even though it was pretty hard with my face against Kris’s chest. I had figured that out, because of his beating heart, which easily could be heard in the silent room. “Where am i?”

I heard Kris chuckle a bit before he slowly moved one of his hands up towards my head where he slowly started to play with my hair.

“You are in my room, in my apartment,” He said and closed his eyes as he leaned back against the headboard. For a few seconds I thought he had fallen asleep, but that theory of mine was soon confirmed as he opened his eyes and looked like someone who hadn’t slept for days.

I was about to comment on the dark circles under his eyes, when I suddenly remembered something. I. Was. Almost. !

“Yah!” I yelled, and out of no reason pushed my hands up towards Kris’s face so he couldn’t see anything. For a few seconds I felt panic rush over me as my heart started to beat faster and faster when I realized that out bare skin now was touching.

Immediately a blush spread across my cheeks as I slowly looked up at Kris, who now was looking at nothing. His eyes were fixed on something behind me, like he could see things I couldn’t. My fingers were just right under his eyes and he didn’t even look mad or anything, wasn’t he even scared of one of my fingers should slip into his eye or something?

Carefully, I removed my hands from his face and pushed myself up and slowly got out of the bed. With my eyes still fixed on Kris, I slowly backed away until I was standing against the wall in the other end of the room.

“I’m sorry,” I said. I didn’t even know why I said it, but it just sounded right at this moment.

“I don’t know, what you are a apologizing for,” He started and suddenly stretched his arm towards me. “But I guess it’s alright… Now, come back here and sleep, it’s too late to be up”.

I looked down at myself and immediately felt the heat rush to my cheeks. I was about to say something, but Kris had apparently seen the way I was looking down and spoke first:

“There is a shirt in the closet,” he said and pointed towards the closet right beside me. “Just choose one you think will fit”.

I followed the direction he was pointing and saw a huge closet. It was filled with pictures of him and some of the others from the school. I recognized Luhan and Sehun and to my surprise there were some from our school trip and some from the time Luna and I met him outside on the field.

I quickly opened the closet and picked up the first shirt I spotted. It was a simple grey one, but right now the design wasn’t important, the most important part was now, that I got dressed!

“Hurry up”, I heard Kris mumble. He sounded pretty tired, so I tried to hurry up, which only resulted in that I turned the shirt the wrong way and had to start all over again. The second time is the best; I successfully got dressed and almost ran towards the warm bed in the other side of the room. I felt like throwing myself on the bed and just cuddle into the blanket, but that would just be too embarrassing.

“Better?” Kris suddenly asked as I laid down beside him. I could feel the heat from his body close to mine; it wasn’t like the bed was one of the biggest like those you see in dramas and stuff, so we had to lay almost right up against each other.

“Much better,” I said and closed my eyes in an attempt to get some more sleep. “Thank you”.

I didn’t hear the last he said, before the sleep slowly took my away from the reality and into the land of dreams or more thought, if you want to put it that way.

Even though I was tired and just wanted to sleep, there was this little thing that prevented me from doing that. My thoughts were literally trying to kill me this time. I couldn’t stop thinking about what has happened just a few hours ago, it was like it was hunting me down, killing me from the inside.

I turned so my back was facing Kris as I slowly opened my eyes and stared into the darkness once again. Like the last time, my thoughts weren’t suicidal or anything like that, it was once again this angry voice which just didn’t want to disappear.

I could feel my heart starting to beat faster as I thought about what was happening. MiYoung was literally trying to break my down, which meant, I just had to do the same. I wouldn’t make her suffer like she did to me, no, I wanted to end it, and the question was just… how?

I woke up because of a certain person, who kept pushing my shoulder back and forth over and over again.

“Nana, wake up,”

As fast as possible I reached out my arms in an attempt to push the person away from me. I wasn’t in the mood the get up now, the lack of sleep was really trying to get me down.

“Nana, your mother is here to bring you home”.

Slowly I opened my eyes and saw Kris sitting right in front of me, his face was literally a few inches away from me and he didn’t even look bothered.

Too close…

I felt like pushing him away, but for some kind of reason I didn’t want to. It was nice to see him so close and relaxed in front of me, normally he would be a bit tense like he was expecting danger around every corner. He gave me a short smile before he a bit hesitant reached out and placed his hand out and placed it on top of me head and slowly started to ruffle the hair into a mess. Normally, I would get mad because he touched my hair, but right now I wasn’t in the mood to curse at him or yell.

“It’s time to get up,” he said as he removed his hand from my head.

I slowly nodded and began to sit up. This time I could get a better look at the room I was in. It was very simple with white walls and a floor in dark tree, there was a desk, which matched the closet, beside the window. A few family pictures hung on the wall and a single flower was placed on one of the shelves which covered the opposite wall. It was quite nice to be honest; I wouldn’t mind having a room like this.

Kris let me change in peace, which I just was happy about. I was pretty sure on that I would have to kick him a place where he wouldn’t get kicked, if he had intentions about being in the room and looking at me like a creeper.

I was about to take my shirt on when I heard a laughter from the outside. With silent steps, I walked towards then window and looked out between the curtains. A group of girls were walking down the road, jumping and laughing when one of them was about to fall on the slippery street.

It didn’t take me long to recognize the blonde girl, who had dared to walk in a couple of booths with heals on. I would laugh if she fell.

A knock was heard as I slowly turned around to see Kris standing in the door.

“I just wanted to check on you,” He said and slowly opened the door so it now was fully opened. “Your mother asked if you were done”.

I nodded and took one last look at the room before I walked towards the door and started to walk down the stairs with Kris right beside me. We were almost annoyingly bumping into each other because of the small amount of space on the stairs.

“Hi Nana,” My mother said as she gave me huge smile.

“’Morning,” I said and slowly turned towards Kris who now were standing with my jacket in his hands. It was now dried and comfortable to wear again.

When he gave it to me, I quickly muttered a ‘thank you’ and thanked him for taking care of me when I wasn’t able to do it by myself and just like the other time, he just told me that he didn’t understand why I thanked him.

I quickly bowed towards him before the door was closed and I was walking towards our car with my mother right beside me. She wasn’t wearing the smile she had worn inside the house just a few minutes ago, now she was looking worried and almost a bit panicked.

“Nana,” She suddenly asked as we were driving down the road towards our little bookstore. “Is everything alright?”

I looked up at her and tried to find the right words to say, so I wouldn’t worry her. I couldn’t let my mother get dragged into this, she already knew too much about it to my liking. I had no idea about, what I should do if she found out about what had happened a couple of weeks ago on Facebook with the picture and cruel words. I couldn’t even tell her about what happened that… That awful night! She would be disgusted!

“Umma,” I slowly started out and looked down at my hand which now was holding each other. “Everything is alright.”

She quickly looked towards me with the mom-knows-everything-look. She knew I was lying, she always did and that was one of the reasons why I tried to avoid her whenever something bad happened.

“JiMin,” She tried once again as she stopped the car. We had now reached our home, a place where I could feel safe and feel free to scream in anger or cry in pain if I wanted to. “Please… Talk to me, you know you can tell me things right?”

“I know,” I said and quickly opened the door to get out of the car. I heard the other door open and close as she obviously followed me.

“I know that there is…”

She suddenly went silence as we reached the store. I slowly looked back towards her; she looked shocked and almost pained. was open and she was blinking like she just had seen a ghost or something. Her hands hung down by her sides as she slowly walked over beside me and placed a hind in front of .

“W-what is t-that?” She stammered and looked at the two windows which let people see into the store at the thousands of books we had. “W-ho has d-done this?”

I looked towards the two big windows only to see red paint covering the entire windows with big red letters, which couldn’t be unseen. Words were written over the entire glass and the front door was open, books had been toured down from the shelves and were now lying across the entire floor.

“Oh God,” I heard my mother say in shock as she entered the store. Her hand was still placed in front of as she walked down between the shelves, looking around. I was still standing outside with my hands now into fits. I could see my mother’s eyes had started to turn red as tears now were running down her cheeks and sobs were escaping her lips. It was the first time I ever had seen my mother cry.

Anger was slowly started to force its ways through the wall of sensibility I had built up. The wall was slowly starting to break into small pieces as I was looking at the windows and my mother’s crying figure.

… … Pathetic… You should hang yourself… Die, … Run while you still can… Park JiMin, you are dead by tomorrow… Remember to sleep with open eyes tonight…

“The apartment!”  I heard my mother yell as she rushed towards the door and unlocked it. I heard her feet make contact with the floor as she ran into the apartment to check if there were more damaged done.

I slowly looked down the roads as snow had begun to fall. The weather was now colder than ever, the skies were almost black and the silence was almost killing. There were no car around and no people to be seen, I was alone.

The wall had fallen and the anger had now reached its goal. I felt my nails dig into the skin in my hands as I without even thinking about it, kicked the glass door and felt the glass crack under my foot.

“You are dead MiYoung..."

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Author's Note:

So I think i will end this story soon, maybe in the next chapter or something like that... It's getting kind of boring I think, buuuuut that dosen't matter >_<

I hope that you liked this chapter and didn't find it too broing or anything... Iø'm having a writersblock these days and my internet is killing me xD