-Gone, not around any longer

narrator;

"Y-yah...Yeonnie...you've been crying for more than an hour now, please tell me what happened. You're scaring me so much." Jonggyu your arm as you leaned against him, fetus-position, the side of body pressed against his chest tightly.

"You make me cry, too!" he told you in a whisper tone and you looked up. "I messed up e-everything! I'm s-so horrible and st-tupid and so c-clueless and-and...I can't do anything about i-i-it!"

You started crying harder than before and Jonggyu closed his eyes while his heart welled over with pain seeing you crying and blaming yourself for something.

"Yeunja ah, please tell me. Maybe I can help." Jonggyu mumbled into your ear but you furiously shook your head. "Can't you see? I-I can't talk like this...my voice-"

"Just because- Urgh, you cutie! Just tell me, I want to help my princess! I don't want to see you suffering anymore..."

You inhaled and rubbed your eye a slight bit.

FLASHBACK, narrator;

Jiho heard his doorbell and wondered. "I don't expect anybody...except it's Yeunja~" [A/N: I know, Yeunja doesn't know what happened there, but let's just...whatever, lol sorry. I had planned this before I wrote the part before this.]

A sudden smile crept up his face and he stood up, running to the door and opened it quickly. "Yeonnie ah~!"

You stood in the door and he let you in, walking ahead. "I was kind of expecting you. I couldn't think of anybody else visiting me, but you. And...how are you doing?"

Jiho turned around, seeing you already close behind him and you shrugged. "Well, I'm quite fine. What about you" you tossed two older newspapers right in front of him, "...Zico?"

Jiho immediately realized what had happened. You had found out about his past.
"Y-Yeunja ah...I c-"

"You. I trusted you the most out of everybody. And then I find such a lie..." you spoke in a low, hurtful voice and Jiho already gulped with watery eyes. "Yeunja, please, I can explain if you just li-"

You huffed loudly. "Did you really think I am that stupid?"

"No, Yeunja, never, but I-"

"But what?! You wanted to keep it a secret forever or as long as possible?! And when that girl finds it out, you'll leave her?! Huh, what did you think of when you met me? What did you think of when we became friends...when we started to become closer and closer, ending up dating, what were you thinking? Keeping that ing secret and never tell anyone?!"

He groaned hurt. "No, no, not like that! I-"

"Oh right, only keeping it far away from me! That's it! That's what our close friendship and relationship is made of! Lies!"

"I never lied to you with my feelings! I honestly love you!" he shouted back at you and you chuckled through your nose not so quietly. "But you lied with everything else, didn't you? I've asked you like, three times or even more why your friends were behaving like this on that evening. You could've told me. I seriously trusted you so much, why can't you trust me?...And within this time I just read some articles and met up with Kyung, your best friend, I got the information I needed. You're a little player and nothing more. You play with other people's feelings, be it male or female. You don't care. All you want to do is having fun with people and get their attention!"

"What?! What attention?! It's the complete opposite, you know how I am towards that!" Jiho didn't understand and you nodded. "You need attention, you want to show off everywhere. People shall recognize you, look at you. You don't care if you talk or not, you just want people to watch every movement of yours. That's what you were craving for, in the past and now. You ing want attention!"

Jiho never saw such a side of you. Screaming around, cursing, being so direct and harsh, but he noticed his fault from the first second on. Right when you were saying the word "Zico".

It was over and he ruined it by not telling you earlier.

"Yeunja, please, listen to me. I-I can tell you whatever you want, just say it. Okay?" he tried to find a soft way to speak to you but you just yelled back. "Explain?! Explain?! What is there to explain?! I know everything! You played with girls, I don't even know, maybe ed them and told them how muuuuch you love them~ and I was just another girl you'd and tell how much you'd love her! But I don't want to be such a girl! Every girl has the right to be loved and appreciated the way she is. But because of spoiled men like you, girls should start a boycott and I don't know, talk to each other and just stop loving men, maybe just stop loving anybody! Just not meeting any guys because you're all the same, all the freaking same! You use girls because your ual frustration tells you so and you just need skin ship and all . A girl can live without that, honestly. But boys, boys can't even watch a girl walking down a grocery aisle without thinking, oh, I should bang that girl, I wonder how it'd be like~ ...Urgh, the male race is pissing me off slowly."

Jiho stepped towards you and touched your arm softly. "Yeu-"

"Don't...touch me." you hissed with gritted teeth and slapped his hand away harshly.

"Yeonnie ah, I just-"

"And don't call me by this name...only close people are allowed to call me like this and trust me, I don't want you to be anywhere close and related to me."

You shook your head. "Woo Jiho, if that's even your real name...You men all the same." you repeated a line you already said and tilted your head, "And I really thought I was something special for you. I really thought you love me, and most of all, I thought you were a nice person. From the beginning until this point of your life, but oh well," you spun around walking towards the door, opening it, "you always get taught a better."

You slammed the door shut so loud, Jiho jerked on his spot and looked down at the newspaper.

'Scandalous rapper Zico is running after one scandal to the other! How he lost all his money, an interview with a citizen.'

The other newspaper article read

'Innocent people hurt by scandal-rapper again.
After the halfway dead people were found some months ago, five other innocent citizen entered a hospital, telling Zico and his underground gang hurt them badly.'

Jiho gripped onto his hair and pulled on it until big tears reached his eyes. He let the useless paper fall and looked up at the ceiling.

"." was all that left his lips as Jiho picked up the newspaper, throwing them into his dustbin.

you;

I walked home, hate slowly kicking in and I literally stamped the door open, Heesok passing me. "On your period?"

"Shut the up." I grabbed a purse that I forgot on the living room's table and my dad gasped. "Yeunja ah! Your language!"

I just left for my room and sat down in front of my laptop, almost throwing it against my wall. My blood boiled and despisement ran through my whole body, giving me a horrible and cold, yet way too strong and hot feeling.

Just like water when it's so hot that if feels cold again. And it pulsated through every cell and vessel of my body.

I expected it from everybody, seriously.

But not from such a lovely person like Woo Jiho. I stood up.

"You know what? Your friends are weird."
"How come you were trying to make your friends shut up when they talked about your and their free time?"   "Hm."   "I guess they would've talked about me."  "What ?"  "Maybe embarrassing things? Things I want to tell you myself? There are things I don't want you to hear from other people."
"Jonggyu has talked about a singer...called Zico."   "Who's that?"
"Ah uhm...Y-Yeunja, I'd like to tell you something."   "Sure."
Silence.
"I love you. You're my everything." he giggled. He giggled.

I gritted my teeth and harshly pushed my drawings including pencils, erasers and anything else onto the ground.

Inhaling I held my head and sat down on my ground. A feeling of dizziness hit me and I closed my eyes for a second.

Am I about to cry? Am I crying? I softly touched my cheeks. There were dry.

Good thing I'm not crying. It's not worth it. I'm just so clueless and stupid. And Jiho is just the same. Exactly the same.

I exhaled heavily and stood up, still seeing black little dots all over my view. I tried to make them go with blinking and walked into the bathroom. 

I put off my make-up and went to bad. Enough bull for this day. The next day would be better.

____

About two weeks passed and the four of us sat down at the dining table. Just me, our father, Byungsoon and Heesok.

"Honey, you look pale." Byungsoon stated and I glared at her.

Until now, I had found out she was the one drawing over my sketches. Heesok helped me trying to find it out. I still haven't told nor confronted her with this. Like everything else, I liked to let it refine inside me until it was done and then scream at her all day long.

I poked my food with my fork yet let it clink because it fell out of my weak grasp.

Today I out at work and took two days off. I did not tell Moonri that I had to lay down on my office ground for some minutes though. She would just call me crazy for doing such things.

"Are you al-"

"I'm fine, thank you!" I yelled at my dad and pushed my chair away, walking away from the dining table angrily and right into the guest washroom which was the closest to our over-sized dining room.

I entered it and closed the door. A loud breath escaped my lips and I looked at my mirror expression. I was green. Seriously.

I could be mistaken as the Grinch.

I slid down the wall next to the toilet while holding my piping hot forehead.

Nausea welled over and I quickly made a bun into my long hair with the help of my hair tie which was always around my wrist.

I bent over the toilet and gulped loudly.

My eyesight blurred and I only heard water dripping onto chinaware.

I leaned against the cold marble wall once again and choked on a sob. I held my mouth and again, a sob jumped out of my throat.

My cheeks wetted extremely quick and soon I was crying heavily yet soundlessly while I pulled my legs up until they met my chin.

  AUTHOR NOTE;   TO BE CONTINUED, next part in the next chp while also something else, very IMPORTANT thing will happen
hope y'all be shocked O:

sooo~
I'm so sorry...anything to say?

comment and sub (: (tho i'm so stupid........:D)