I go back to the practice room and check out the list of songs for today's dance practice. A bit hard, but I'm sure Na Young will help me out. Then I realize my stomach was growling and that I needed to eat. I send a quick text to Ji Sung about my day and I go downstairs for the canteen.

"Jiyonn!" Someone called. It was Dara unnie, fresh-faced as ever. 

"Dara unnie." I say, bowing. "Where are you off to?"

"Just gonna grab something to eat. You?" I tell her I was also going to eat, so we go together. Along the way, we saw Ji Yong and Dara asked if he could come with us. 

"It's okay, unnie." I replied, trying to hide the hidden awkwardness and mixed emotions. Thankfully we arrive at the canteen and I grab a cheese sandwich and a bottle of water(not cold, like what the vocal trainer said). 

"There's a table there in the corner, Ji Yong is already there." Dara unnie said, still deciding on what to eat. I go over to the table and find him looking out the windows. I sit down and unwrapped the sandwich.

"You want?" I asked, being polite.

"No thanks."

"Why are you always running away?" He asks all of a sudden, his eyes looking straight into mine. 

"What?" I asked, looking away. He doesn't reply and looks back at the window when Dara unnie came carrying a tray full of snacks and two cans of soda. I tried not to look at them while eating; they don't look like a couple or anything, but they look somehow sweet. And I don't really know what to do in situations like these. 

"So," Ji Yong said, breaking the silence. "How's your vocal practice with Teddy hyung?"

Why be friendly out of the blue? I thought. But I shouldn't answer that, not when Dara unnie's around. I take a gulp of my water and replied. "It was pretty nerve-wrecking, but it went well, I guess."

"What genre were you suited for?" Dara asked, leaning closer to the table. I told her what Teddy sunbae said before; that my voice was diverse and can suit any type.

"Wow! That's cool." Dara said, her eyes fixed on mine. "So what will you choose? I think you're suitable for ballads, since we--"

"Calm down," Ji Yong said, waving his hand in front of her. "You're making her feel pressured."

I tell them it's okay and admit that I haven't decided on anything yet. We ate some more and talked, until I said it was time for me to go. All this awkwardness and fake laughs are killing me. Awkwardness, because I feel so out of place with them; and fake laugh, because I can never be comfortable with Ji Yong around. There, I said it. I'm uncomfortable with him around and I think I'll always be.

"Thanks, but I gotta go." I said.

"But it's still--" Dara said, but Ji Yong stopped her.

"Okay." He said. That's it? That only. Fine! Like I care anyway. I carry my tray and leave the table, bidding them each a good day, rushing to my practice room.

Why are you like this, Miss Lau? I asked myself. Why are you so nervous around them? Is it because you're jealous of them? Her? Or are you mad at them for being sweet and all? I remembered what Ji Sung asked yesterday and I feel a pang of jealousy and pain. 

Infatuation. That word suddenly pops in my already cloudy mind. I tell myself that I don't have time to entertain those thoughts, and that I have to focus. Focus. Balance. 

"You don't have time for such emotions, Jiyonn. You don't have to. Just build a barrier so you don't get affected by this." I stare at the huge mirror in the room and said, "hwaiting!" before I started listening to the songs for today's practice.

Na Young arrived shortly and we started practice. My mind was cooled off thanks to the routines, and I temporarily forgot it; take note: temporarily. 

"Well aren't you a bit determined today?" She asked when practice was over. I almost forgot about the time because of what's happening.

"I don't know, maybe." I shrugged. "But I guess I wasn't that bad at practice today."

"You're right. You're actually improving you know. Even for just a short time, you kept in pace with the routines, and you don't look that exhausted." She noted. "I understand you're balancing school and studies, so I'm letting you off early today, it's only 7--"

"Are you serious?" I asked, feeling excited al of a sudden. As much as I hated to say this, I was excited to leave this place and get some rest. And forgetting that awful incident, even if it's just running away from your sunbaes when having a little snack together. Anyway, forget that, Jiyonn. Forget it.

"I am. Just make to get some rest tonight." She replied, grabbing a towel. "Anyway, I better be going now, need to do some choreography stuff. G'bye!" She said, taking her small bag and leaving the room. I made sure to lock the door after she left and changed into my hoodie, jeans and sneakers. I take a moment to peek through the huge window, pulling the curtains and looking at the wonderful scenery. 

I pack up my stuff and left the room, and head home. On my way downstairs, I passed by Big Bang and 2NE1 on their way downstairs, too. I give them a low bow and bid them good evening.

"Isn't it early for you to leave?" Taeyang asked. I told him that Na Young allowed me to leave early to rest. Then CL told me to come with them for dinner. 

"Ummm..." I thought of an excuse to skip, yet I felt guilty. They were really nice to me from the start and here I am thinking of a lame excuse. But as I look at them, I saw Ji Yong giving me a look that says, "go-ahead-and-tell-a-lie" and I bet he knows what I was thinking about. And I remember what happened this afternoon, he probably knows about that, too.

I'll create a barrier.

"I can't. I have to go to dinner with my parents. I'm really sorry, I wanted to go with you guys..." I hear myself saying.

"Aw, too bad." Daesung said, frowning. "Well, there's always next time." I apologize again and rush downstairs. From a distance, I heard someone say, "She's probably having a hard time adjusting. Let her go." Whoever that was, I feel thankful for them.

I'll create a barrier and focus on training. Call me power-hungry, but I don't really have time for these feelings. I don't. I don't want to get carried away and let history repeat itself.