I don't know. I don't know where I am, what day is it, how I look nor what's happening. I don't even want to open my eyes. I just feel so tired, at least better than how I was before. All I remember was that I collapsed somewhere after training. Then I remembered I need to call Ji Sung. My eyes instantly opened and I found myself in a clean and neat living room. The furnitures were sleek and it was, well, huge. I didn't bother going around and instantly looked for my bag.

 

I found my bag placed neatly on the floor and rummaged through for my phone. It was already 11:30 in the evening and my inbox was full of messaages. There were also missed calls. I read the messages one by one.

 

From: Ji Sung

Message: hey, i thought u will call me?

 

From: Mom

Message, Jiyonn, where are you? Have you eaten dinner?

 

From: Ji Sung

Message: are u gonna call me?

 

From: Ji Sung

Message: are u gonna call me???

 

From: Ji Sung

Message: yonnie, I'm worried. TT_TT u won't answer the fone! answer pls D:

 

From: Dad

Message: Mom said you weren't answering the phone. Where are you?

 

From: Mom

Message: Why are you not answering the phone or texting us?

 

From: Ji Sung

Message: JIYONN LAU OR WHOEVER IS READING THIS IF YOU'RE NOT GOING TO REPLY TO THIS OR CALL ME I WILL GO STRAIGHT TO YOUR HOUSE UNDERSTAND?

 

I was shocked with the last message but it was sent 3 minutes ago, so I quickly dialed her number.

 

"Jiyo--"

 

"Ji Sung! Ji Sung oh my gosh what are you--"

 

"Why didn't you call me I was so worried you sounded like you were gonna die or something? What happened, seriously?"

 

I calmed my mind. "I... overworked myself earlier."

 

I heard her sigh through the phone. "I knew it. You shouldn't have went to school or went to practice, no wonder you're like that!"

 

"I know I'm sorry, at least I feel better now, I think."

 

"Well that's good. Your parents just called, they were asking why you weren't calling them back or texting them, too."

 

"I'm in trouble." I sulked.

 

"Anyway, where are you?" I don't know. Really.

 

My mind started to panic. What was I going to tell her? I'm crazy if I'll tell her I'm in a stranger's place. What is she going to think?

 

"I don't know... really."

 

"Oh. My. God." She replied.

 

"Don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, please!" I said. "I'm probably in Na Young's place, you know. My trainer. I'm sure I'm somewhere safe. Trust me."

 

"Are you sure? Where is she?"

 

I looked around. No sign of anyone, but I saw a bag and a pair of shoes aside from mine. "I don't know either. Trust me, okay? I'll call you when I get home, I'm gonna call my parents now. Bye!"

 

Before she can say anything else, I hung up the phone. Then I called my parents. Again, same story, same lines. After the much longer conversation with my parents, I checked my bag to see if my things were still there, and to my surprise they were. As I was about to get up and 'investigate' on the place, I heard light footsteps coming. I wished the owner of the house was Na Young. I don't care if she reprimands me for being so careless about my health, I'll apologize and tell her I'm not going to do it again, then she'll bring me home and hopefully, I get a rest day tomorrow.

 

But it wasn't Na Young who was there. And I won't get any rest day.

 

"You." I say flatly.

 

"You?" Ji Yong replies, imitating my voice. "That's all you're gonna say, huh? After helping you, that's it?"

 

"Then fine, thank you very much!" I stood up. I know it's my fault for saying that, but he could've said it in a much kinder way. Then I remembered I was not in my home court. I looked down. 

 

"Thanks..." I said in a calmer tone.

 

"Well that's more like it," he replied and went off somewhere.

 

"Wait, wait!" I said, following him to the kitchen. "Aren't you like gonna tell me where I am or what happened to me and not leave--"

 

He turned back at me, laughing. I asked him what's funny.

 

"You have so many questions, geez!" What a nice reply.

 

"Well, I wanted to know anyway so I have the permission to ask."

 

"You're at my place," he said. "And you fainted before leaving, you should've seen yourself walking."

 

I figured out I have no reason to stay, and I should better leave. After how I treated him this day, I don't have any right to stay here. It's not good for me. "Anyway thanks, I better get going."

 

"You're not going anywhere." He said in a more serious tone.

 

"Why? I feel much better now. And thank you very much. I really need to get home."

 

He quickly took hold of my arm and pulled me closer to him. I gasped in surprise, and I felt my heart pounding as I looked away. "What's wrong with you seriously? And you're gonna walk away like that? I need to know why."

 

"And why do you need to know?

 

He pointed to himself. "I'm your sunbae."

 

Next thing I know, I'm sitting on the chair like a guilty kid, my hands on my lap and all. He was across the table, waiting for me to speak up.

 

"Eat." He said. I looked down and a huge bowl of rice and lots of food were there. Then I remembered I hadn't eaten anything since this afternoon. "Don't worry, I didn't poison them or anything," he added.

 

"You are so sarcastic." I mumbled. It felt many times as awkward dining with him alone. Oh wait, I was the only one eating.

 

"Aren't you gonna eat?" He asked. "Okay fine, I'll give you time to pig out." He left the kitchen and went to the living room. When he left, I started eating like I hadn't eaten in weeks. The food tastes great, though, and I looked around the room. It was really, really clean and organized and I hardly believed that a guy lives here. I took a little peek on what he was doing, then he caught me and smiled. I quickly ducked my head away and went back to eating. 

 

Maybe I do like him, I think, I thought. My heart was beating quickly and the chopsticks I held were trembling. I'd be lying if I said no. I felt so nervous all of a sudden and I couldn't eat anymore, since there was nothing left to eat. I got up and placed the bowls neatly on the sink when he called out, "I'll take care of that! I need to talk to you!"

 

Slowly, I returned to the living room. He told me to sit down.

 

"I feel like a dog," I whispered.

 

"And try not to make any side comments when you're talking to your senior, please." He retorted. I suddenly forgot I liked him and glared at him for one second.

 

"Seriously," he started. "What's going on with you? You were avoiding us then next thing I know you're overworking yourself. Do you really want to debut so badly?"

 

"It's not that." I replied.

 

"Then what?" He replied. "I'm not telling anybody else. Just between you and me."

 

My heart started to beat like crazy with his last words. And my words got the best of me.

 

"Well. Fine, that's it! I want to debut already. I don't want my old life anymore. I want to be able to sing again, dance again, perform like before." I stopped for a moment, realizing I was tearing up. "It was my fault for what happened before, and I regretted it with all my life. Now I got another chance... and now I can't bear to lose it."

 

For a moment, he was silent. He only handed me a tissue and didn't speak.

 

"So," I said, regaining my composure. "You heard it. Can I go now?"

 

He stood up. "I'll take you home. This time, no more nagging, you got me?" I got up as well and took my bag. Before going out of the door, he took off his cap and placed it on my head. 

 

"Wear that. Someone might notice you."

 

"Shouldn't you be the one wearing this and not me?" I asked, walking a few feet away from him. He kept quiet and ignored me. 

 

"Hey! Why are being so snobbish all of a sudden?" He suddenly stopped walking, and I crashed on to his back on accident.

 

"Can you be quiet for once? You sound like you swallowed a megaphone."

 

"Fine." I whispered. While walking, he slowed down and stayed beside me until our arms were practically close to each other.

 

"You know," he said, breaking the awkward silence. "You should be more open to us. Just because you want to debut quickly doesn't mean you have to avoid us."

 

Although I didn't say anything in return, I felt like I was the worst person alive. I felt so guilty that I wanted to cry, the scenarios form this morning came back, almost haunting me. The only thing that kept me from breaking down was his arm around my shoulder.

 

I was silent the whole time and I stayed beside him at the elevator when we went down and spoke nothing at the car. It was a few minutes past midnight and I have no idea how to tell my parents what happened and why. What I was more bothered about is if he was going to tell anyone. I was shocked with what I said before; since I started training, I just wanted to debut. And that was it.

 

"I'm not telling anyone, in case you're wondering." He said.

 

"You said it earlier, anyway." I replied. I gave him the directions to my house after.

 

"About your reason," he started. "I don't Honestly, really know what to say since I never experienced that. Sorry, it must've felt so bad."

 

I was surprised with what he said and looked at him for once. He looked so serious, or maybe it was because of the road.

 

"It's okay. I don't really like anyone else to go through what I did." 

 

"In fact, I should be the one calling you sunbae or something like that." he laughed.

 

Then finally, we were at the street where my house was. I told him to drop me off there. He stopped the car.

 

"Thanks." I said. Just as I was about to get out, he beckoned me to come closer. I felt my hands shaking again.

 

"Just a piece of advice," he whispered.

 

"Quit while it's still early."

 

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A/N: My update after a looooooong time! Anyway, college has been wacky and kept me busy so I wasn't able to update. I hope you guys enjoy this, and give reviews! :D