I greeted Na Young with a big smile this afternoon.

“Wow it’s been a long time since I last saw you smile like that.” She smiled back. “Did you meet up with your boyfriend or something?”

My eyes widened in shock. “I don’t have a boyfriend, Na Young!” I replied, waving my hand.

“I was just kidding,” she laughed. “I’m glad you’re doing well now. Honestly, I was a bit stressed when I saw a walking zombie a few days ago.”

Na Young then told me the schedule for today’s practice. Since it was only past 3, I wasn’t sure if we’ll be able to finish training until 8 in the evening with so many things to do, but Na Young promised me an hour of dance practice. It was a relief since I haven’t fully recovered from everything.

Speaking of recovery… Even if I told Ji Sung all about the fiasco last night; I haven’t really gotten over it. Hopefully I will, soon.

I’d rather not think about it. Not now. Not now when I’m on my way to get things straightened up. During practice, I managed to bury all those thoughts, but when I was given a 20-minute break, all the thoughts came back. Then I remembered I promised Bom that I’d eat with them. As I made my way to the canteen, I was cautious of my surroundings. A couple of trainees looked at me and it felt weird.

Then I realized that I haven’t met any co-trainee ever since I started here. Memories of my trainee life (way before my trainee life now) at SM crashed down by the time I arrived at the canteen and picked out some snacks. I missed those days where Sunday (or Bora unnie, as what I called her) unnie, Bokyung (or Stephanie) and I would wear baseball caps and face masks whenever we go out. Basically, I miss my life at SM. I haven’t heard anything new from them, but it was rumoured that SM was going to debut a new boy band this year, and I think I know some of them. In fact, I had the urge to call some of my friends there once in a while, but I think I’ll just be a nuisance. Don’t get me wrong, I’m close to them, but things just naturally drifted apart. That feeling of insecurity and longing increased when I realized I have no one to sit with during practice breaks when before, the table for 8 people wasn’t enough for us. That was before.

Now is different.

“Wow! Do you really eat that much?” My reverie stopped when I saw Seungri across my table. He was wearing a comfy shirt and jeans and he looked as cheerful as ever despite the dark circles under his eyes.

“Hi, sunbae.” I stood up and bowed. “Um, practice just ended and I’m really starving. Have you eaten already?”

At that time, members of Big Bang and 2NE1 entered the canteen. They all waved at me, except for Ji Yong, who was chugging down a can of soda.

“From now on, I won’t bother you anymore. I don’t want to be a hindrance to your training. I’m going to avoid you now.”

It still hurts, okay?

I bowed at them when they arrived and they immediately told me to stand up.

“We missed you!” Both Taeyang and Daesung gave me a big hug that I swore I wasn’t able to breathe. Dara quickly pulled me away and told the boys to behave.

“Sorry I forgot to wait for you sunbaes,” I gave them a sheepish smile. “I was really hungry.”

“Oh that’s okay!” Seunghyun replied, waving his hand. “Hunger waits for no one!” Then, they went to pick out their food. All of them except Ji Yong, who sat across the table, avoiding my eyes.

I guess he is really guilty. I thought as I took a spoonful of rice. But, I have forgiven him, right? I was really sincere with that, but it’s as if he refused to believe it. Did I look fake or unbelievable when I said I forgave him? Why is it so hard to believe? My head hurts from all this; not only that, my appetite is going down the drain and I couldn’t breathe properly when I know he’s sitting across from me.

This is crazy!

“What’s with the awkward atmosphere between the two of you, huh?” Minzy said, plopping down a tray full of snacks beside me. “I can feel the tension from here.”

Then the others came back with their own trays and started eating. Bom offered a cob of corn and Seunghyun that it was so rare for her to share corn with someone else, evoking laughter from the table. I felt comfortable as time passed and began sharing jokes and stories with them, laughing whenever Daesung came up with weird pick-up lines and Taeyang dying of laughter at the corny jokes. If someone who didn’t know them would pass by, they would think that we are a group of friends because everything just seemed natural. It felt natural, as if I didn’t avoid them. As if there was no tension between any one of us.

I should get used to this, again.

When it was time for me to go back to practice, almost everyone was against it; almost. They told me to ditch practice and stay with them.

“But we missed you!!!!” CL said, hugging me. “It’s been a long time since we last saw you, and now you’re leaving us again?”

“Give her a break guys,” JI Yong said all of a sudden. Suddenly, nine pairs of eyes were at him. It wasn’t that Ji Yong didn’t speak earlier; he laughed and hooted along, but it was weird. He looked so tense. “She needs to go back to practice.”

I gave them all a low bow and said goodbye. “Thank you so much for today’s break, sunbaes. It feels good to see you all again.”

“Awwwww,” Seungri said. “Don’t go!”

I smiled at him. “Maybe next time, sunbae.”

I took one last glance at everyone before I left and I was surprised to see everyone looking back at me, smiling. The last person I laid my eyes on was Ji Yong.

He was smiling back at me.

I was dazed throughout the last leg of practice today, to the point where Na Young continuously flicked her fingers in front of me. I said I ate too much and felt sleepy; of course she didn’t let this off.

“That’s the last time you eat that much okay? You’re lucky enough that you have a nice figure and that your metabolism is quick. Some trainees here are underweight just so they could be as slim as you.” I blushed at her last comment.

“Yes, ma’am!” I saluted at her.

She smiled back at me and ruffled my hair. “Okay, from the top!”

Practice ended at exactly 8 in the evening, giving me time to do my home works. I thanked Na Young for this day’s practice as always and I was heading outside.

This day went better than expected, I smiled to myself thinking about how I confessed everything to Ji Sung, how well I did during practice, how I had fun with Big Bang and 2NE1 and how Ji Yong smiled at me earlier…

Wait. I stopped walking for a while and refreshed my thoughts. Suddenly, my hands were shaking and my head was beating rapidly.

“I did not just say that…” I whispered. “No I didn’t. No you did not, Miss Lau. You did not.” Letting out a deep breath, I straightened up myself and continued to walk. As I approached the exit, I saw Ji Yong, of all people, heading out as well.

For one moment, our eyes met and I couldn’t think straight. It was as if time stood still in that place; everything else stopped, and I swear I could hear my heart beating in that short span of time.

I bowed at him and gave my best smile.

He didn’t smile back.

A/N: I changed the story's title from, "Cat and Dog, Love and Hate" to "It's Complicated" because I felt like the former title didn't suit the plot I had in mind. Also, I was thinking of starting an EXO-M fic with the title similar with the former title, so yeah. Please subscribe and don't forget to comment about how you feel about how the story's going so far! Thank you! :)