Decisions
My Crush is....Gay!?
I ended up walking home that day, feeling down. As I took each step, Luhan’s words echoed around my head.
Don’t you think that guy looks kinda cute? Don’t you think that guy looks kinda cute? Don’t you think that guy looks kinda cute? Cute? Cute? Cute?
I stopped midway and then fell onto my knees, my palms facing the ground with my head looking down. (A/N: It’s supposed to be an OTL but sdgfjkgh)
No.
It couldn’t be. I must’ve been dreaming again.
My first crush and love was gay!?
Once again, the words echoed into my head. I got up again and started walking, sighing. I didn’t even get to confess.
But I guess that’s a good thing since he likes men.
I dropped my head again.
“Haerin!” A very familiar voice called. It was the voice I used to love hearing. Right now, I kind of dreaded it.
I turned.
“Oh, hey Lulu,” I said with a nod.
“You left without me!” Luhan puffed as he caught up. I didn’t reply yet he didn’t seem to notice my mood.
We continued walking in silence and got to my house first. Luhan’s house was just another three blocks away.
“Well, see y-“ Before I could open my gate and go into my house, Luhan stopped me.
“Wait Haerin-ah!” He called. I turned my head and he smiled.
“Um...thank you,” He said. I frowned.
“For what?”
“For everything.”
That made me feel even more curious.
“What?”
“Nevermind,” Luhan shook his head, still smiling, although it seemed a bit distant now. “Oh, by the way, what were you going to tell me at lunchtime again?”
I reddened.
“N-Nothing!” I said as I quickly opened my gate and walked through my door and slammed it shut, leaving Luhan just standing outside. “See you!”
I leaned my head on the door, my heart beating rapidly.
That was too close. Toooooo close!
I bit my lip as I thought about lunchtime again. I really wonder how I’m going to start acting normal around him now.
-----------------------------
The next morning, I walked to school. On the way, a moving truck came along and passed me. I frowned at it. What was a truck doing in our neighbourhood?
As far as I knew, no one in our neighbourhood owned a truck. I shrugged to myself.
Maybe someone’s just moving away.
Class started off differently today. The homeroom teacher came later than usual and Luhan wasn’t here yet. Usually he would come and talk to me before class started, making my day. I looked out the window of my classroom to see another truck passing by the school, this time it was going to opposite direction of when it was driving before.
Why were there so many trucks today?
After class, the teacher called me out. I followed him out of the classroom, wondering what the heck he wanted from me this time. After all, I didn’t sleep in class this time. I was too busy worrying why Luhan didn’t come to school.
“Song Haerin-sshi, you’re Luhan’s friend, right?” The teacher asked me. I nodded and he sighed.
“Well, the truth is....”
“Luhan moved house and schools!?” I shrieked. The teacher glared at me to quieten down.
“B-But why?? How? What?” I asked.
“He stayed back at school yesterday to tell me that he was going to move but he didn’t want to let anyone else know,” The teacher replied. “He said he was going to go to Seoul Boys Academy after his family finishes settling down in the new house.”
What?
Why didn’t he tell me all this?
Why an boys school?
My mind suddenly went blank.
Boys school?
The words re-echoed through my head.
Don’t you think that guy looks kinda cute?
My eyes widened.
“A-ANDWAAAAEEE!!” I yelled. The teacher looked a bit taken aback. I turned towards him and gripped onto his jacket.
“No! We must get him out of an all boy’s school!” I hissed. “No! We must get him out of any school! SEONGSANGNIM WE MUST GET HIM BACK!!”
--------------------------------
Soon, I was standing at the windows and was made to hold two whiteboard dusters on each hand and clap them together outside the window as a punishment. I coughed as the wind blew my direction and some of the white powder flew into my face.
“Well I’m sorry for being loud...” I muttered.
I then sighed and looked out into the sky, continuing to clap the whiteboard dusters together.
So Luhan moved to an all boys school huh? No wonder there was a truck in our neighbourhood today.
But why didn’t he tell me?
“Why did he move to an all boys schoooooollllll?” I sulked and suddenly, I lost grip on one of the whiteboard dusters and it fell straight down.
“Ow!!” I heard a voice yell. I looked down and my homeroom teacher’s head looked up.
“Omona!” I gasped and quickly hid myself behind the window before any other trouble would rise. I sighed.
Luhan would probably be laughing at me right now.
----------------------------
For the whole day, I was lifeless. I couldn’t think of Luhan going to an all boys school.
I stopped.
What if he started going out with a guy!?
What if he forgets me!?
I went on one of the school computers and typed in “Seoul Boys Academy” then clicked on their school website.
From what I took in, their school was full of smart kids who lived in dorms.
I stopped at the word ‘dorms’ and quickly stood up.
OMO.
WHAT IF HE GETS !??
I shook my head quickly to clear thoughts.
“Andwae, andwae, andwae,” I whispered. “Don’t let it get to you, Song Haerin. Don’t let it get to you.”
During class, I stared out the window again.
An all boys school....Why can’t I be born a guy?
Wait.
A guy?
Slowly, an idea began to form in my head.
After school, I grabbed my bag and headed straight to the teacher’s office.
“Song Haerin-sshi, what are you doing here?” The teacher asked. “You’ve got no detention today.”
“Seongsangnim!” I said, slapping down a piece of paper onto his desk.
“I’m going to move schools.”
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