As Long As A Bunny Has A Tail, My Love For You Will Never Fail

*blink*blink*

*Claps like a retarded seal*

YAY THAT RHYMES!!

Okay jokes aside, back to business. 

Description:

Two different families...

Two different habits, two different tradition ...

Different everything.

One girl and one boy.

They are joined together by their magical 'marriage'

Forcing someone do anything can turn bad easily.

Especially when they won't talk to one each other. 

Would their life ever become a "Happily Ever After"?

 Story:

On first chapter, the second paragraph there would be "you" instead of her, as he was talking to the girl.

When explaining a thought, please put something else rather than a quotation mark, because it can be confusing seeing how it is supposedly for dialouge rather than thoughts. For thoughts you can use italicize or * or almost any form of difference.

Yeoboseyo is only for phone. When asking who are you face to face, it is Duguseyo or Neugusseyo how ever you want to write it. 

Okay now lets go to the non-technical part of the story.

What you are trying to portrait is very vouge. I didn't understand. So she is Dae's childhood friend. Dae loves her but she doesn't? Chunji is a guy who she got married to that she didn't know. 

Okay let's take one thing at a time. Daehyun loves her. They were childhood friends. Daehyun's part is pretty clear. He might have something more to do as her father came to tell him something.
OC- OC doen't know what's happening to her but she finds herself married to chunji and she never had a wedding. 

Chunji- He just got married.

Honestly all the characters are confused themselves. No body really knows what happening, they just know they are married of married off. The mother doesn't want her to mix so she got her married.

But the question lies: when did the wedding happen? Just exchanging rings does not mean they are married. Certain vows have to exanged and certain papers has be signed. When did those happen? all that happen was Chunji showed up, took her and she wakes up and she is married? 

Please look on this flaw. 

To the writer I have to say is that this story is very rushed. You should really sit down and read each chapter at a time. I feel like you had a lot in your head but failed to portray it in writing. I would suggest you take one chapter at a time and read it out loud or atleast reread it till you  are satisfied with the sound of it.The story lacks in emotions, details, description, timing and settings. 

Here are some things that you to think while fixing those:

1. What is their past, show a summery of it.

2. When was Daehyun's feelings developed?

3. what was she doing in Dae's house when he was sleeping?

.4. Parent's POV about the whole situation

5. Where did Chunji came from? Who is he?

6. What is OC feeling about all these?

7. Is there any change of feelings in any of the characters? how so?

I know this questions all sound like the ones you see during your english literature tests, but at the end that's what it is. A fanfiction is a piece of literature. So please keep in mind while you farther with this or anyother story. Pay speacial attention to the setting and details. Just think that they are alive hunman beings with the situations and feelings. It would come easier. 

Thank you!

So here it is~

As Long As A Bunny Has A Tail

ZeroPrincess

Reviewed by

LimaLemon