DISCLAIMER:

I AM NOT A CRITIC, I AM JUST A NORMAL READER WHO WILL HELP YOU WITH HOW A READER LIKES YOUR STORY

Reviewer:limalemon :D

Poster: Yes. 

Description:

It's kind of harsh to say but the very first line in your description would make more than half the reader stop reading and press the back button. "Moving to korea" is one of the biggest cliches in the fanfiction. I do get that you are trying to write an fic, but this "just-moved-to-korea" is not a good thing. Or atleast try not to start your story with it. Maybe put a little story before she moved and why she moved? 

There was nothing really eye-catching in the description for me to keep reading. 

When writting, confidence is a must. But in your foreword you make everyone think twice before reading. if you are insecure, then keep it inside, don't let it show. 

Story:

You have already mentioned that you don't own B1a4. No one would accuse of it either. So you really didn't have to mention it again on the first chapter. It was just repetative.

Your punctuations are in the wrong places. Let me show you with one paragraph.

"It's been almost a year now since Ara moved away. Ara was Nina's best friend for 10 long years. But Ara has moved to Korea for good and now following her footstep, Nina is here packing her bags as well."

Does this makes more sense? 

At first I thought you only put disclaimers in one chapter but as I saw that you have done the same for all of them. Please don't put those. When a reader reads they want the next chapter to begin immidiately. It gets kinda annoying when other stuff keeps poping up... like SM's genie ads :P. I saw that you are revamping the whole story. I hope you have a beta reader or some one else who is really good in grammar and has literary knowledge.

I realized how you said you started writing because you have been inspired by other fanfics. My earnest suggestion would be that you read other real books to improve your plot and flow. Because fanfics are not always the best examples.

So here it is~ 

Tell Me How I Feel

by

xxchAOsxx