DISCLAIMER:

I AM NOT A CRITIC, I AM JUST A NORMAL READER WHO WILL HELP YOU WITH HOW A READER LIKES YOUR STORY

Reviewed By panda_and_llama

Title: The title made me laugh it was quirky, creative and entertaining so kudos to you! I have nothing more to say about this
Foreword/ General Presentation: The layout was clean and simple and the first two lines immediately grabbed my attention. The poster is good but seems a little too light on the eyes and forever is spelt incorrectly but that can’t be blamed on you (not that it really affects my opinion of this story). 
Plotline: At the first chapter, something big happened which I like because it just puts the reader in suspense as they try to find out what happens next. I do have to say though, this is slightly stereotypical and this concept has been done many times so I waited to see if you had any twists coming up. And you also stated that she’s kind of an innocent nerd? People like that really do not go to clubs and get drunk and passing out from drunkenness is a little unrealistic unless she literally drank fifty bottles of red wine. And when Zico took her to his apartment just because he needed someone to get his parents off his back seems out of the blue but I guess you’re going for humour here so I’ll let it slide. Just try not to be too jumpy; remember that everything that happens in a story should have some kind of significance. And he must be lucratively rich and reckless to be taking care of her like that. Don’t let your story stray too far from reality and I’m also assuming they’re nearly adults… they seem quite juvenile to me.
I have a slight suspicion you are very inspired by Korean dramas which isn’t entirely a bad thing but try not to let things happen too suddenly for no reason no matter how fluffy, romantic or cute they may be. You also need to work on building more depth into your characters, the hurt that she’s going through and the pressure that Zico is undertaking because of his parents. 
Overall enjoyment: Your grammar is decent save for the few typos and whatnot and I found that this story put a smile on my face so despite all its flaws, I think it’s an uncut diamond and with some improvements, it’ll be really good.

So here it is~

A fun comedic fic featuring Zico and You

Not Forever Alone, Forever Available.

by

JessicaTran