Americano by UnicornHealining
I WANT TO READ!! SEND ME UR STORY!! I'LL GIVE FEEDBACK-2!!
Foreword:
I really like the poster, it is very creative. The description is short and sweet, and it makes me wonder what happened to cause Zhou Mi to react like that.
I really like the poster, it is very creative. The description is short and sweet, and it makes me wonder what happened to cause Zhou Mi to react like that.
Chapter 1:
Really really great story, seriously that was awesome, I love how you made the first chapter a flashback of the description. Now I definitely know why Zhou Mi was acting the way he was. The only thing I would fix is in the sentence “Zhoumi had expected the person to speak, but they had not.” Since the person is singular and I think that you are referring to is Sun Jian, so it would be “Zhoumi had expected the person to speak, but she did not.” But there was one thing i was wondering, if instead you could separate the sections into chapters and add more detail what was going on in that scene, instead of making it one whole chapter.
Other than that I didn’t find anything else wrong with it and I definitely think that you should continue it, there are so many ways you can take this. Keep it up (:
So here it is~
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