My Past Is My Future by MsKpopfangirl13

I WANT TO READ!! SEND ME UR STORY!! I'LL GIVE FEEDBACK-2!!

Well, This review would be awkward...

More than the story or the grammatical aspect, I would like to talk about some logical stuff. 

Your grammer was fine, story has a plot too, so it's all good

The only place I have problem with is the emotion and settings. 

I know that you have quite a lot of subscribers and probably would think that "Hey, it went well so far, so I don't need to change."

Well I am not telling you to change either. So let me just tell you what i was feeling as I was reading the story. I admit that I read till chapter 10.

First of all you talked about how they were used to go out and how they used to be in love but broke up painfully because of someone. Well, if you were in a relationship wouldn't it be logical to recognize the person when you see them? Despite being their faced back and looked from a far, after a relationship it would be easy to notice them.

Second thing that bothered me a lot was how easily they accepted it. If someone had to go through a bad break up as it seems, they will never ever ever want to get back together (sing taylor swift here :D) I get it that Luhan wants to get back now that he knows he was mistaken, but the girl? How easily she forgets all those crying nights?

Another fact is Baekhyun's role. GIRL YOU ARE GETTING MARRIED TO YOUR EX! HOW COULD YOU NOT FREAK OUT? NOT TELL YOUR BOYFRIEND? TELL HIM LATER? You are not going to a vacation that, " Oh yeah, I am going out"!!!!!!  like WHAT?

And the last thing would be the chirpiness in the tone of this situation. You are studying, have a boyfriend who loves you, GETTING AN ARRANGED MARRIAGE, to your ex, for your company.... and you still feel like being chirpy and girly?  o.O

I am sorry if this review was nothing but a disappointment to you. I am sorry that you had to wait this long to get this kind of response. But honestly, This was the only thing that kept bugging me for the whole time. I am sorry again.

 

So here it is~

A Luhan x OC arranged marriage story

My Past is My Future

MsKpopfangirl13

 

Reviewed by 

LimaLemon

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LimaLemon
how long as it been ?!! i need 4 more subbies to make it a 100

Comments

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Hunteris5000
#1
I don't know if you guys are still taking requests but...
Yeah, I'd apprecite you review on this story:
http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/410315/revenge-angst-drama-romance-exo-exom-kris
Thank you, sorry for bothering you if you're not taking any more. ^^
illuminousink #2
uhh... Hi there. I'm not sure how to request for a review. and I'm not sure when you'll be taking in new requests but I would really like to ask for a review. uhm. Thank you.
dbsk_cassie
#3
Chapter 26: Thanks for your honest and helpful review! I agree with what you said about my first chapter, I wrote it a while ago and just recently read it, I want to change it but then the ppl who's already read it would be confuse. I am also glad you liked my story! And thank you again!
Violet12123
#4
Chapter 25: Thank you for reviewing, but I think you are confused. I wrote my story in PRESENT tense not past tense, so "I eat" is correct. I tried to write this in a way that made sense to people who didn't speak perfect english, so my grammar wasn't perfect, but I am a fluent English speaker, so I hope it's decent. I did have a hard time with the plot, because everything had already been done that I could do! My photoshopping skills when I first wrote this were really poor, but now they've improved a lot, I just haven't had time to redo it. Now if I could I would have submitted a better story, but at the time I only had this one! But I'm glad you enjoyed it, thank you.
cellolvr9819
#5
I was wondering if you could review my story next time you get the chance? :) http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/422682/flower-boy-bakery-romance-exo-exok-sehun-baekhyun
thank youuu~
kpopperforever #6
Apparently you're hiring? If you are, I would like to apply, thanks!
DespisedSecret
#7
Chapter 22: Thanks for reading my story! So sorry about getting to this so late (I was out of town) and don't worry, I take all criticism as constructive ^.^