I was freaking out.

He hadn’t answered my question yet, neither had he moved a single muscle.

What could’ve been the reason to lie to me about a gas leak? As soon as I had asked myself that question my mind started racing and many answers came up, until I had reached a certain one. My eyes opened wide.

IIt couldn’t have been a lie just to… get me in bed, right? I swallowed hard. Well if that was it the plan hadn’t worked. Well, not entirely.

TOP sighed and turned around looking at the ground.

“I lied,” He rubbed the back of his head and avoided my eyes. It was clear to see he was ashamed. “Because someone asked me to,”

My eyes opened wide.  “Who would ask you to do such a thing!”  I shouted in shock.

“CL is just trying to plan something,” TOP mumbled in a low voice. Wait, CL? What would… What?

“CL?”

“Yes, she needed you out of your apartment to plan your housewarming party,”

A smile appeared on my face. “She’s planning my party?” I immediately forgot about my earlier conclusion and, for some reason, I got really excited. “Right now?”

“Yeah,” He sighed heavily. “I wasn’t allowed to tell you, but since you were getting mad,” He shook his head and a smirk appeared on his lips. “She’s certainly going to kill me now,”

That evening I couldn’t sit still. The drive there was awful, for the fact that I couldn’t move around much. My energy level was high and every second that passed made my excitement rise even more. Yes, I was indeed sceptic about the party in the beginning, but now… Let’s say that my schoolgirl mind still hasn’t left me.

“Promise you’ll act surprised,” TOP said to me as we approached the door of my apartment.

I nodded and raised my arm to knock on the door. TOP’s eyes opened wide and he quickly grabbed my wrist preventing me from knocking. I looked at him in surprise.

“Your key,” He said in his husky voice. “You don’t know there are people in your apartment right now,” He raised an eyebrow. “Do you?” He tested me.

I shook my head and quickly searched for my key. As soon as I found it, I unlocked the door. I inhaled deeply and then opened the door.

Some lights were on in my home and a lot of people were crowded into my apartment. That’s when the music hit me. I didn’t know I had a surround system, but apparently it was doing its work right now.

This wasn’t a small party at all.

“___!” I heard a familiar male’s voice shout. I looked around and then a tall figure stumbled out of the crowd and to us. A bright smile was on his face. “Welcome back!” Seungri shouted over the music at me.

I couldn’t help but smile at the boy. It had been such a long time since I had seen him, that it made me really happy to see his quirky side again. Even though the smell of alcohol surrounded him.

“Psst, TOP-hyung,” Seungri said as he slowly moved closer to TOP. “Don’t tell ___,” I rolled my eyes. He was trying to act sneaky, but in his tipsy mind he didn’t even notice I was standing right beside him as he told this, plus he was talking way too loud for me not to hear him. Telling me wasn’t necessary at all, I would hear this first hand. “But CL accidentally started the party too early so now,” Seungri hiccupped and turned around to face the crowd. “Everyone’s already having a blast!” He yelled and then made his way back to the mass of dancing people. Gosh, I really did not see that. I then looked up at TOP, who was just watching Seungri ‘dance’ his way back. I would make sure TOP would bring Seungri home at the end of the night, because the kid would probably already have trouble alone standing by the end of the night.

As we entered my small apartment, which was now overcrowded, TOP got immediately stopped by a group of guys who seemed to know him. I felt like I was eavesdropping on the group if I went to stand with them, because they looked like close friends, so I decided to go somewhere else.

The problem was, that I really didn’t know any of the people that were invited. I couldn’t detect a single familiar face. I took a deep breath and crossed my arms over my chest as I stood at the wall watching the crowd. It was my own apartment, but it felt like I was at someone else’s. A shiver went down my spine. I just felt uncomfortable. 

Suddenly I felt a hand on my shoulder and quickly spun around in surprise.

“Hey!” I sighed in relief. It was Bom. “Are you enjoying yourself?” She asked.

I just nodded. I wasn’t enjoying myself, yet. I probably, well hopefully, would later on. But I didn’t want to bother Bom with this. By the way she was smiling, I could see she in fact was really enjoying herself.

“You’re the first familiar face I see,” I yelled over the music to her.

She nodded. “Haven’t you seen CL yet?”

I shook my head. “Only Seungri and you,” I looked around. “Are the other BigBang members here already?”

There was no answer, so I looked back at Bom and saw she was drinking her drink. She hadn’t heard me. I tapped her shoulder and she looked away from the crowd and back at me.

“What?”

“Are the other Bigbang members here already?” I asked again.

Bom looked away from me again, as if someone had called her. She then waved at someone while smiling brightly.

“Have to go, I’ll talk to you later!” She said quickly and then found her way into the crowd. I hadn’t seen who called her, or heard anyone call her over the loud bombastic music that was playing in my apartment. But I hadn’t seen CL yet either, so it could just be me. I sighed.

I was pathetic, standing alone at my own party..

After a few minutes of struggling through the crowd, I had found my way into my tiny kitchen. I grabbed myself one of the few clean glasses that were left and poured myself some water. When I turned around I was welcomed by the energetic smile of Minzy.

“You made it!” She yelled at me. She held her glass up. “To a great housewarming party!”

I smiled at her and raised my glass as well. Minzy smiled and then drunk her drink at once. I just took a sip of my water.

“Hey!” I yelled at her and gestured her to come closer so she would hear me better. “Do you happen to know where people are, who I know?” Minzy immediately shrugged and mouthed to me that she did not know. I sighed and questioned myself who CL would have invited. “G-Dragon is here as well, right?” I asked this, not only because I wanted to know that there were a few people I knew here, but also because I hadn’t talked to him in such a long time. Not to mention seen him.

Minzy shook her head. “He is invited, but he had another thing this evening,”

I felt my shoulders drop. “Will he come?” I asked as I cleared my throat, trying not to show my disappointment.

Minzy forced a smile and shrugged. “Maybe,” I nodded. Maybe. That’s an answer that tends more to No than it tends to a Yes. Minzy frowned and tilted her head whilst she was looking around. “Hey, have you seen Dara?” I shook my head. Then her face lit up and she snapped her fingers, she probably had thought of the answer herself. “O! No never mind,”

After a few more moments of chatting, Minzy also went back to the huge crowd that filled my living room. The moment she disappeared from my sight I felt this huge disappointment strike me. Without noticing, I had really gotten my hopes up for G-Dragon to be here.

That was when someone grabbed my wrist and pulled me out of the kitchen. I couldn’t see the person, since she immediately pulled me into the crowd, but I could tell she was a girl by her height. She guided me through the crowd and pulled me into the bedroom, closing the door behind her. As soon as the door was closed, the music was muffled.

“Okay, there’s something you must know,”

I turned around to see CL there. I sighed in relief. Finally found her.

“This isn’t exactly the small housewarming party I wanted?” I guessed sarcastically. I smiled to myself a bit but when CL shook her head, it disappeared immediately. Her facial expression was stern.

“I was never planning to throw a small party, but that’s not the thing,” She said as she crossed  her arms over her chest. “First of all, I know that G-Dragon and you weren’t just ‘good friends’,”

I looked up in surprise. My heart rate immediately picked up. No one was supposed to know that, then how did she-

“Bom is a bad liar,”

My eyes opened wide. “She told you?” I asked in disbelief.

“No, but she would act weird when we talked about you,” She smirked and shook her head. “It wasn’t exactly hard to figure out,” I blinked. I didn’t know what to say or how to position myself. Somehow this conversation made me more awkward, than just standing alone at the party.

CL sighed and looked at the ground. “I don’t know how to bring this, but I feel like you deserve to know beforehand, I mean,” She rubbed the back of her head. “before he arrives,”  She sighed. “The other members know as well, but Minzy and Bom somehow couldn’t find the courage to say it,” She raised her eyebrow quickly, a smirk appeared on her face. “Now the girl who’s not even befriended you has to break the news,” She shook her head and looked at the ground for a few moments. She sighed and then finally  looked up at me. There was no expression on her face, which was warning enough. “G-Dragon is no longer a single man,”

My eyes opened wide in shock and I immediately sat down on my bed.

I felt my heart drop.

I closed my eyes and swallowed hard, trying to regain my feelings quickly. No. I told myself. We weren’t dating anymore. I chose to start over with Seunghyun. I took a deep breath. It’s only good for him to see other girls. But before I had fully calmed myself CL spoke again, immediately making my  thoughts spin again.

“He’s dating Dara,”