=KEY=

I am honestly more hurt that Mi-Na so easily taken me as an idiot. But now that I think about it, perhaps I am. I sighed and tried to shrug all the thoughts away but the pile of wedding things that needed to be checked didn't help. It's sad. I love Mi-Na enough to let her go but not enough to do it completely-what am I saying? I don't even know. It's just-

"Should I leave? You seem like you are doing voice overs in your head right now." Mi-Na giggled and closed the door behind her.

"Can't you be considerate and just ask if I want to talk about it."

"Okay then, do-"

"No.."

"Are you around that time of a month again?" Mi-Na joked, showing her obviously cheerful mood.

"I don't think you we're even this happy when I asked you to marry me," I thought aloud. 

"H-huh? Well, jonghyun an I made up. I...I guess I'm happy because-because I'm making you happy. No? This was what you wanted right? For jonghyun and I to get along." Mi-Na lied very smoothly. You're good Mi-Na, I'll give you that-but never good enough for the almighty Me. 

"Yeah, exactly what I wanted." I smiled at her. I opened my arms wide and waited for her to come towards me. I smiled when the familiar scent reached my nose but frowned when I thought of the possibility of being the last time.

Whenever the time comes for us to seperate, it will be on your watch-not mine.I love you enough to let you decide but I don't think I love you enough to accept it. I heard the snores coming beside me and I chuckled. 

"What will I do without you Mi-Na? Who will I laugh at and make fun of? Don't you know who difficult the thought of losing you is? But the idea that you-you not being happy with me isn't one I could cope with.

...why Jonghyun, huh? Yeah, he's in a band, he's a bad body, and he's attractive. But he's my brother. How can I let you go so you can be happy when I'd have to watch you do so. Just glimpses of the two makes me want to choke the thing with my scarf." 

I sighed and kissed Mi-Na's forehead, then her chubby cheeks, and lastly to her lips. You have no idea of much it hurts. How hard it is to pretend to be clueless about the two of you. How upsetting to know that I will never be about to have you smile so beautifully at me. How happy I am to think that you can be happy too.

"Wanna hear this vision I have? I have this dream that well retire to Tuscany and buy a small home by the beaches. Our kids all left to live their own lives but that's okay. I have you. You're my life and all that I will ever need. We will sit on two reclining chairs on the boards of our nice beach house and reminisce about our youth, our children and our love. I'd then hold your hand tight and whisper the word forever lovingly in your ears. Sounds rehearsed doesn't it? That's probably because it was. I've replayed the scene over and over. But now, as vivid as it used to be, my figures becoming more and more blurred."

i sniffed the snot that was about to come out-disgusting, I know. But it's Mi-Na and I don't mind her seeing this side out me. My snotty, crying, and emotional side of me. 

"But it's okay! I don't need to see the figure to know that it's Jonghyun. It's him that's meant to side beside you to hold your hind. It's him you want to hold your hand" 

I let out a huge sigh to prevent myself from a full on sobbing, not because I wanted to keep Mi-Na asleep (she sleeps thought anything) but I wanted to keep my pride. Next to you, it's the second most important thing to me. Now first since I don't have you anymore. 

"I love you." I told her and kissed the sleeping girl once more. I pulled the cover over us and turned the lights off.