“What’s this?” Yongguk asks as he takes the paper from me.

                “That’s the proposal plan,” I say.

                “The what?” he asks as the boy comes out of the recording booth. “You’re good for today,” Yongguk says dismissing him. I don’t know if he’s really done or if Yongguk just doesn’t want him to overhear the conversation that we’re about to have.

                “You know,” I say once the boy leaves. “The plan that you wanted for your proposal to Jaime, the ideas.”

                “Oh, that,” he says as it seems like it finally clicks in his head. “You did it so quickly.”

                “Did you not want me to?”

                “No, it’s not that,” he says laughing to himself.

                “Then what is it?” I curiously ask.

                “It’s just that this plan…it’s really good, Himchan.”

                “Is it? Do you remember all of your firsts together?”

                “I do,” Yongguk says nodding his head. He’s probably remembering them. “I remember every last thing that we did together.”

                “You seem like the best boyfriend in the world. If I were a girl, I’d date you.” Yongguk laughs at my statement. “It’s true, I really would.”

                “You surely have to be like this to your girlfriend, though.”

                “My girlfriend and I,” I say thinking about Jessica. “We’re kind of different you could say our relationship is…different.”

                “But you guys are dating, aren’t you?”

                “Of course we’re dating,” I say, “it’s just that…I don’t know. I wouldn’t say that we have what you and Jaime have. It looks like you guys have something really special.”

                “That’s what happens when you give your full heart to someone,” Yongguk says laughing. Despite his manly image on the outside, somehow when talking to him one on one, that seemingly manly image goes away into one that’s well…not so manly anymore.

                “Your full heart?” I ask looking at Yongguk strangely. If he’s talking about Jaime having his full heart…then that means that she’s his first girlfriend, right? “Yongguk, is Jaime your first girlfriend?” I hesitantly ask.

                Yongguk stares at me for a little bit until he nods his head. “Yeah, she’s my first girlfriend. Hard to believe, right?”

                “No, no, I think…I think it’s great,” I say quickly trying to cover up my slight sadness. I guess Jaime and Yongguk are something special, they both are each other’s first whatever. Jaime is Yongguk’s first girlfriend while Yongguk is Jaime’s first boyfriend. It just sounds amazing in my head. I know that Jessica’s probably had plenty of boyfriends before and I’ve even had plenty of girlfriends before. I guess a couple like Yongguk and Jaime is hard to find, that’s what makes them so perfect for each other. “That’s really great.”

                “Anyway, this proposal, I think I have a perfect spot for it.”

                “What spot is it?” I curiously ask.

                “It’s the spot that I first took Jaime to. You see, we met by a mutual friend and she wasn’t much for clubbing and neither was I, so I brought her to this place and we just hung out with each other. I think that if I took her back there and proposed to her it would be nice.”

                “It probably will be,” I say nodding my head. “Well, if you don’t need anything else from me, I have to go get Jaime.”

                “She’s here?”

                “She’s hanging out with Jongup and Zelo,” I explain. “She wanted to tag along; she just couldn’t let me come by myself. She doesn’t even know the real reason I’m here, so don’t worry, it’s alright.”

                “Okay,” Yongguk says as we both stand up and head towards the door. “You know, Himchan,” he says as we go into the elevator together to go see Jongup, Zelo, and Jaime. “Would you mind going with me to get the ring? I’m not confident in my abilities to pick out a good ring.”

                “And I am?” I jokingly ask.

                “At least you seem like you know a thing or two about what types of jewelry girls like. So…would you?”

                “Sure, I’ll go,” I say giving into his request.

                Together, we walk into the room where they’re now playing a board game. Where they found the board game I’ll never know, but it looks like they’re having fun with it. “Yongguk-oppa? Why are you here?” Jaime asks standing up and going over to greet him.

                “I ran into him on the way here,” I say making up an excuse because I can see the hesitation in Yongguk to lie to Jaime. It must be hard for him to do when he’s probably never had to lie to a girl before. I’ve lied, but nothing major like ever cheating on her, it was simple things like where I was going to be at night or why I couldn’t hang out with her. “He said that he was surprised you were here and wanted to see you.”

                “I know, we’re seeing each other a lot lately, aren’t we?” Jaime asks as she gives him a smile as the pain in my heart seems to get worse with every moment that I see them together.

                “Um…Jaime,” I say and she turns to face me. “I’m giving you the rest of the day off, hang to here with Yongguk.”

                “But what about work?” she asks. “I can’t just leave in the middle of the day.”

                “Yes you can. I’ll cover at work, alright? I’ll say that you became sick or something.”

                “Himchan, why are you doing this?” Yongguk asks.

                “Because there’s not much to do anyway and why waste time at the office. Anyway, I’ll get going now. See you guys; sorry I couldn’t spend some more time with you.”

                I wave to the rest of them as I make my way down. Honestly, I could use some time away from Jaime to think about our current situation. Right now I’m helping her boyfriend plan a surprise proposal for her, that’s probably making my heart all mushy or else why would I feel this way? I moved on from her a while ago. I mean, we were friends, never more than that after she continued to reject my advances. I guess she just didn’t know that I had a crush on her. For some reason I couldn’t do anything when it came to her. She was just precious.

                I sigh as I think about our high school days. If I only had the confidence then that I have now then I would surely have confessed to her, but things are too late, she has Yongguk and they’re going to get married. I have no doubt in my mind that they aren’t going to, I mean, they’re the perfect couple. First loves that get to be with one another while I lose that opportunity.

                Okay, so maybe me liking Jaime wasn’t the wholesome feeling of love. Heck, I’m sure even right now with me dating Jessica this isn’t the feeling of love, but I like Jessica and I liked Jaime in the past. That’s all that it is, the past, so why am I dwelling in it?

                “Where’s Jaime?” Youngjae asks as he looks next to me as I return alone to the office.

                “Family emergency,” I lie. At least that way if someone sees her out they wouldn’t come to me and question it if I said that she was sick.

                “Oh, I hope everything is alright for her.”

                “It is, she just has some minor things to deal with. I’m sure it’ll all pass over soon.”

                “It should,” Youngjae says. “Well, I have to go continue teaching my trainees. I guess I’ll see you later.”

                “Yeah,” I say as I head towards the elevator to go to my own floor.

                Right now I don’t feel like doing anything, just sleeping, but I can’t sleep since I’m at work and work isn’t the place for sleeping. “Are you okay?” Boss asks coming in to see me.

                “Yeah I’m fine, why?” I ask looking up at him as I type some things in the computer. I have to find a new endorser for our project and contact a past endorser for a contract renewal.

                “You just look…out of it,” he says. “Maybe you should go home.”

                “You know what,” I say seeing this as my excuse to go home and sleep. “I think I might. Thanks, Boss.”

                “No problem, just be sure to come in with a fresh head tomorrow. Speaking of, where’s your trainee?”

                “She had a family emergency,” I say as I continue the lie for her. “Don’t worry; she’ll be back tomorrow, too.”

                “Okay,” he says nodding his head. “I trust you. You’ve never put doubt in me before.”

                “Of course,” I say as I pack up my bag and go towards the elevator. “Thank you again, I’ll be sure to repay you.”

                As soon as I arrive home, I go up to my room and lie down on my bed without even changing my clothes. I don’t know why I feel so horrible, maybe it’s knowing that Jaime’s going to get married. Do I still have lingering feelings for her somewhere?

                “I can’t have feelings for her, I can’t,” I mutter into my pillow. “I’m dating Jessica and she’s going to get married to Yongguk, it’s just not going to be right. But still,” I say as I continue talking to myself. “I can’t help what I’m feeling inside.”

                After a while, I find myself start drifting off to sleep. I figure that I can’t fight it anymore and let it overtake me as I dream about my teenage years with Jaime.

MIDDLE SCHOOL YEARS

“Jaime, you’re working with me for the projects, right?” I ask her. It’s our sixth grade year, the first year in middle school and thankfully enough we were able to get put into the same class, despite the number of students in the school dramatically increasing since all of the elementary schools are now put together.

                “Sure,” she says. “Why?”

                “I just figured that I wanted to work with you,” I lie. I don’t want her to go with any other guy and suddenly forget about me. I thought about that a lot before the first day of school. I wondered whether she would make any other guy friends and forget about me, I didn’t want that to happen, I definitely didn’t want that to happen.

                I know that I like her, but I just can’t seem to confess to her and I’m not even entirely sure about my feelings yet. Yes I like her, but do I like her enough to go out with her? Sure, the teenage years are all supposed to be about having fun, but what would happen to our friendship if I just did that? It would just disappear and I’d ruin a good chance. I guess I should wait.

                “Do you know where we’re doing?” she asks as she rolls up the sleeves of her shirt.

                “No,” I honestly tell her and our other friend does the same. He’s working with us, too.

                “You guys, never pay attention, why do I ever work with you?” she asks shaking her head.

                “Because you like us too much,” our friend says. Why can he say those words and I can’t? It’s probably because he doesn’t mean those words in any way possible.

                “Anyway, we’re making a volcano,” she says. “We’re supposed to be covering it today.”

                “Right,” I say. “I thought the teacher said something like that.”

                “Are you sure you weren’t just sleeping?” she asks poking fun at me as she begins dipping the newspaper into the mixture to begin making it.

                “I’m positive,” I tell her. “My eyes were open the whole time.”

                “Then why weren’t you paying attention?” she asks.

                “Just didn’t feel like it, oh well.”

                “Let’s just continue this,” she says rolling her eyes.

                The three of us continue to make the volcano and somewhere along the way, we start having a paper fight. “Hey, that’s not fair,” she says looking at it as it’s all over her arms and somewhat on her face.

                “What’s not fair?” I ask sticking my tongue out at her.

                “You have to have some on your face, too,” she says sticking her finger into the mixture and applying it right to my face.

“Hyung! Hyung!” Gongchan says as he wakes me up.

                “Gongchan, I’m sleeping, leave me alone,” I say as I roll over in an attempt to get some more sleep.

                “Hyung, do you realize what you were doing?” he asks.

                “Yes, I’m sleeping, now let me sleep some more, I’ve had a long day,” I complain as I pull up the covers and attempt to kick him off my bed, but it doesn’t work. Since when the scrawny kid get so strong? Has he been working out because of that girl? “Girl,” I say sitting up. “Didn’t you confess to that girl? How did it go?”

                “Check for yourself,” he says with a smirk as he and I both look over to the door to see her standing there.

                “You brought her over?” I ask as I sit up in bed.

                “Yeah,” he happily says. “I thought you would want to meet her but I come home to find you already home and sleeping. Why aren’t you at work?”

                “Because I was tired,” I tell him. “And the Bossman gave me time off. Um…sorry for such a not nice image,” I say to the girl. “My name is Himchan, Gongchan’s older brother.”

                “Nice to meet you,” she says politely bowing. “I’m Mihwa.”

                “It’s nice to meet you Mihwa,” I tell her.

                “Hey Mihwa, why don’t you wait for us downstairs, I promise I’ll be down in a minute with this lazy guy,” Gongchan tells her.

                “Alright,” she says as she backs away.

                “Why did you tell her to leave?” I ask.

                “Hyung, do you know what you were doing in your sleep?”

                “No,” I say shaking my head. “What was I doing?”

                “You were calling for Jaime and telling her not to leave you.”

                “Impossible,” I say shaking my head.

                “It was true,” Gongchan insists. “Hyung, do you like her or something?”

                “I have Jessica, that’s impossible.”

                “It’s not impossible; you could always possibly like one person while you’re dating another one. That’s when you realize that that person that you’re dating isn’t the one for you. Well, I should go downstairs, I shouldn’t leave her waiting. Come down when you feel like it.”

                Gongchan leaves and I sit on my bed. Does this mean that I’m falling for Jaime again? Or rather…have my feelings ever gone away in the first place? I’m so confused.

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What are Himchan's feelings? What about Jessica? What will it be like when Yongguk and Himchan go out to look for the ring together?

Here is Chapter 10. Hope you enjoyed :D