“Why do you come here when you don’t want to buy anything, Lay?” I ask him, who is sitting on a table by the counter, sipping the coffee I made him.

“I don’t know, maybe because I can see you more?”

Goosebumps ran all over your body as you shudder and wince.  “Really,”

“Really,” He grins, sitting with the chair’s backrest between his legs, his elbows on the wood, tilting the coffee so that the dark liquid enters his lips.

You scoff and roll your eyes, leaning close.  “As long as you disturb no one,”

Flicking his forehead, you trot away, giggling at his exclaim of pain. 

It’s been a regular thing, Lay’s visit.  He occassionally comes with Luhan, but sometimes Luhan would leave the shop and come back only when Woonha calls him in for a shoot.  Lay just stays in the shop quietly and watches how the team works, sometimes allowing a customer to take a picture with him. 

“Sajangnim, your commercial video is so beautiful!”

You laugh at the compliment, thanking a customer for it.  “Which one, if I may know?”

“Both, the one where you were in the white dress alone and the one when you were with the male models,”

“Shooting it was a pleasure too,” You smile.  “The phone is really convenient, though,”

“It is indeed! Me and my friends over there purchased the newest models just recently.  Very easy to get used to,”

“That means I did a good job of convincing you,” You two laugh and you continue adjusting her outfit.

Done with her, you turn around quickly to attend to the other customers, who are calling and waiting for you.

“I’ve seen the solo video too, sajangnim,”

“Aah!” You jump, suddenly having Lay so close in front of your face.

He chuckles at your reaction and pats your head.  “It was pretty.  As expected from our sajangnim,”

“Don’t pat me!” You fling your arms around, forcefully brushing him away and giving him a playful frown.  “Meh,” You stick your tongue out at him and run away towards the other customers.

As you attend to them, you find Lay keeping on your tail.  He follows you just about anywhere.  “Hey Lay, if you can follow me anywhere, can you carry me wherever I want to go?”

It was supposed to be a threat but then Lay forces you onto his back and he hoists you up, carrying you through the shop.

“Lay!! Lay put me down!! People are staring!!” You punch his back continuously, but you yourself cannot hold in your laughter. 

The two of you laughs all around the shop, until he finally sets you down and earns a hard punch on his arm from you.

“Ow, ow, ow,” He winces as he rubs his own arm, flinching when you opened your mouth.

“Idiot,” Was all that came out, and you shake your head in disbelief, failing to hide your grin.

Since the first shoot you had together, you and Lay have kept contact closely.  The note you gave him when you left while he was asleep in the van said;

“My number is in your phone.  Find it if you can,”

And two days later, Lay begins his regular visit with a grin on his face, laughing at the name you put yourself under in his phone; Yeppeun Jaemi which literally means Pretty Jaemi.

He had managed to take your phone too and put his name in your phone, leaving you a note to find it to and you did, under the name; Yeobo, which means Darling.

Seeing the chemistry between the two of you, it isn’t something unusual that you and Lay are paired up for couple shots, ending up with a completely satisfied Woonha because the atmosphere set was always perfect and the pictures came out beautifully. 

“Eun, I’m out for dinner with Lay, don’t forget to lock up! Don’t do anything weird with Jihoo! ” You shout aloud, leaving with your coat wrapped around you with Lay as it was lunch break.  Hearing her shout in surprise as she dropped something, you laugh, entering Lay’s car as he drives away towards the restaurant he promised to take you  yesterday. 

“Eun is marrying Jihoo?” Lay asks you as he drives, keeping his eyes on the road.

‘Hell this kid is handsome alright,’ “Yes, saw the ring.  Yoojoon is dating Kyoungmi.  I am so alone.  Glad I have you as my driver,”

Without taking his eyes off of the road, Lay tickles your neck with his fingers, so relentlessly that you’re gasping from lack of breath due to too much laughing. 

“You have me here as your what, again, Jaemi-ssi?”

“Dri—Friend! Here as my friend! My greatest, handsome-est friend I have ever had!” You move away from his fingers, ready to tickle you again.

“Good, now we’re here,” Lay throws you a grin and hands the keys to his car to the valet of the restaurant, smiling at the doorman who opened the door for the two of you, tipping his hat at Lay. 

“Not very often for you to bring a girl here, Yixing.  You’re usually alone,” The old doorman says, bowing at you politely as you replied back.

“Ahjussi, good one.  Thanks for keeping the fact that I usually come with 2 girls here instead of one,” He whispers, a playful smirk on his face.

“Hey,” You quietly say, punching his arm. 

“He’s just kidding, miss.  Please cope with him for the night.  We’ll call up the chef quickly to tend to you,” A highly attractive waiter comes into the conversation, guiding the two of you onto your table, by the window, looking out to the city lights of the whole Seoul city.

“Who the heck are you?” You frown at him in bewilderment as the two of you sat.

“You’ll see,” He smiles into the menu he’s reading and takes his time in choosing. 

You feel a bit bad for the waiting chef, the one by your table, just waiting for the two of you to place your order. You did, but Lay still takes his time. 

“Lay, he’s kind of waiting?” You say under your breath, kicking his shin under the table.

“Ah!” He a breath through his teeth and finally orders, giving you another of his grins. 

“Would you like anything else?” The chef asks you, and you shake your head politely with a smile. 

“No thank you,”

“Yixing-gexia, you have a very fine taste in women,” The chef smiles at Lay and walks away, leaving you red as an apple.

Lay laughs at your face, gently tapping your foot absently under the table. 

“I, too, am pleased to meet such a beautiful lady,” He smiles, taking your hand and shaking it, improvising with a kiss.

“Oh my—“

“Young lady, meet my son,” A man says in front of you. 

You politely chuckle and bow towards the source of the man’s voice, once again extending your hand for his son to shake.

“Pleased to meet you,” You say first.

“I, too, am pleased to meet such a beautiful woman,” The son replies.

You give him a smile and dip your head in a thank you bow.  “May we be better acquainted in the future,”

You gape at him as you remembered the moment when you first met him.  Holy mother of—

“Wait.” Your gape disappears and you turn stony.  “That means—“

“I knew, Jae, I knew.  Or should I call you agasshi from now on,” He smiles gently. 

“No, don’t—just—“

“Relax, relax,” Lay takes your hand and frowns slightly, concern clouding his face.  “It’s okay, your secret is safe with me,”

You take a deep breath and look into his eyes, taking his face in your hands while you lean forward.  It’s the ability you can count on the most.  Registering someone’s expression through the touch of your hands.  Enhanced with your ability to see, it makes it easier for you to detect lies that way.  Without words, you register the security in his eyes, and you lean back into your chair. 

“I don’t trust people easily, Lay.  You bringing me here might be a way to trick me into something.  You treating me here might be a way to harm me.  You giving me food might be a way to poison me and kill me, even.  I’ve lived 18 years with that mindset.  The 2 years I’ve lived recently had been less difficult, because I could see.  Still, though, that mindset never disappears.  People trying to take me away, harm me, threaten me, hurt me, and kill me, are everywhere,”

“Oh God, no, God, Jaemi, really, I have no intentions of doing anything like that, I mean, I’m serious,” Lay frowns in both worry and panic, looking straight into your eyes as he said the words.

Two seconds passed, and your mask relaxes to your regular smile.  “It’s okay, I was testing you,”

“Wha—“

“Your father isn’t one of the people who were against my father back then.  I knew from his voice and well, I could tell you two were genuinely pleased back then,”

“Then why did you—“

“Because, I mean, you know, people change, Lay.  A second of a time and they could change to their own opposites.  Anything could have happened.  But I’m glad you stayed the same,” You grin, taking his hand and gripping it in reassurance.

“You—“ Lay sighs heavily, leaning back onto his chair.  “You’re one girl with lots up your sleeve,”

“Makes it hard for people to keep up with me,” You grin, evoking laughter from the other party.

“Bet you’ve got a lot to go through, too,” He quietly says.

At that time, dinner comes, so the conversation halts, leaving you wondering for the reason he had said those words. 

The two of you leave for the night and Lay drives you home, slowly, through the streets of Seoul as he spent the way talking to you and you talking to him.

“Seeing was difficult,”

For a moment, Lay took time to register your words, leaving you to laugh. 

“I had to adapt and stuff and there were so many things I had to take in; through my ears and my touch and my eyes and all of it into my head at the same time.  It was so weird,”

Lay laughs then, followed by you.  It’s rare for you to feel so open towards someone, but with Lay, it naturally comes out, maybe because you two are people with the exact, same backgrounds.  He leaves the car by the street and helps you out, slowly walking side by side with you towards your home, so that he could avoid any prying eyes around the location.

Lay glances at you and he seemed to think, until he quietly says, “What about your assistant?”

You flinch at the topic and lower your head, taking your time to answer.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to ans—“

“He left,” You say simply.  “Left for two years and came back,”

You wait for his response, but nothing came, so you went on.  “As someone in a whole different world.  As someone with a whole different mind and soul.  Only his body stayed the same.  I hope he’s hiding something.  Because—“ Your voice cracks and you chuckle out a quite sob.  “I never even stopped hoping,”

Lay wraps his arms around you and hugs you just by your house, as you cried into his shoulder.  “Not even once, Lay,” You whisper, letting your tears out.  Nobody had asked you about Jongdae straightforwardly and you’re thankful for Lay.  For his question.  It reminded you of everything but then again, you finally have the chance to let it all out, and onto someone, at that.  “I couldn’t accept it but everything just s it onto my face.  How could I have denied that?” You question no one in particular, clutching at the back of Lay’s jacket, as if it could anchor you to the world.

“Ssh, ssh, hey,” Lay pulls away and looks into your teary eyes, tucking a lock of hair behind your ear.  “Hey,” He frowns in concern and kisses the top of your head and your forehead, the smell of his body filling your lungs, warmly, tightly, hugging you onto himself.  “It’s okay.  Everything is going to be alright,” He sticks his forehead on yours.

Catching his eyes, your tears flow at what it shows you.  You let him kiss your tears away and you let him keep his forehead on yours, the space between you only measurable by a hair’s breadth.  Slowly, your sobs stop and you close your eyes as he gently leans in.

***

“Yeol, what date is it today?”

“30th of December,”

“I see,”

Silence.

“What was that for?” Chanyeol walks over to my table and taps the calendar I have.  “You’re the CEO of a company and you don’t even know how to read a calendar?”

“Shut it,” I stand up and stretch, receiving a call from Song Qian.  “Gotta take this,”

“Hello?”

‘Chen, don’t forget the dinner we’re having for new year’s eve, it’s tonight, for your information,’

“I know, Victoria,” I use her nickname.  “I know, I’m making my way there right now,”

‘I’m glad for that then.  I’ll be waiting,’

“Mm,”

Closing the call, I glance at myself in the mirror and shrug at my appearance.  “Do I look good enough?”

“Trying to rub that in my face, Chen?”

“Ey, nothing like that.  Felt that I was trying to?” I laugh at his ridiculous expression and take the lift with him. 

“You know, about the engagement with Song Qian, you really going with it?” Chanyeol takes the topic into the conversation.

“The ‘engagement’ isn’t really an engagement, Chanyeol.  It’s like I’m making a pact with her mother’s company to tell her that, yes, I’m taking the deal.  To cover it up, we use the word ‘engagement’,”

“Oh,” Chanyeol says.  “Good then,”

“What are you talking about,” I say absently as the chauffeur opens the limo door for me, taking me and Chanyeol to the regular restaurant. 

“I don’t even know,” Chanyeol glances at me and an understanding I don’t want to register passes in between, nevertheless. 

“Why does she always eat there, anyways,” Chanyeol asks.

“I don’t know, it was something about her knowing the owner of the company that owns the restaurant or something?” I shrug. 

Damn it.  It nags on my mind.  I can’t even think clearly.

Agasshi.

Agasshi.

Agasshi.

It was all that was in my stupid head.  I want to embrace it, embrace her to be exact, take my time off to just see her, happy and smiling and that would be enough.  To see her face would mean everything for me, if the distance I have with her keeps her sane and full of smiles, I will stay away.  I would do anything for her.  But at the same time, all of this, I did for her. 

I wanted to propose to her.

As someone her family can accept.

As someone everybody can accept.

As someone nobody can go against.

But us, is over.  We; there is no more of the word.  It’s just her and me.  Separated.  Broken.

And I had hurt her.

I want to fling myself out of the window of my office everytime I see my reflection. 

I can’t touch her.

Anything I try to do to contact her, anything, everything, would soon to be found out by the media.  Those hungry animals, crawling everywhere, poking their noses into people’s business and writing trash about them, just to gain interest and create conflict.  They are truly the most dangerous weapon.

The doorman smiles at me and I smile back at him, dipping my head in a polite bow at the old man. 

“Chen!” Song Qian waves her hand in the air, calling you over to her table.

A waitress guides me to the table and you smile at Song Qian, who stands up to give me a peck on my cheek.  “Sit down, sit down,”

Chanyeol takes his seat on another table with Song Qian’s assistant, the two acquainted well. 

We comfortably chat with each other, me laughing at her jokes and she laughing at mine.  It had been a lot of months since we struck up the contract and I hope, tonight, it can all come to a confirmed success.

“Then, do we have a deal?”

And, it does.

I shake her hand and she signs the contract, then I sign it too, closing it quietly and handing it to her.  “I look forward to working with you, Victoria,”

“And me, Chen,”

I walk out the restaurant and glance at my watch, seeing that it’s 11.  I’m glad for the distance I have between the restaurant and my office, because in 15 minutes, I could return quickly and leave for home.

But tonight, I don’t.

I put on my black cap and my gray scarf, my dark jacket on my body and my hands in my pocket. 

I walk down the streets quietly and take the turns.  The ones who have imprinted itself into my mind, as if I was walking to my true home.

Her home.

Yes, I’m going to see her tonight, even if it was only for a glance.

I walk, and walk, until the crowd thins and disappears from around me, leaving me alone, in silence and in the dark as I take the final turn.

So close.

My feet heavily trudge forward, occassionally crunching with the road. 

Even closer.

I hear a sob from ahead and look up, registering a couple by the lamp post, tightly hugging each other as the woman cries onto the man, which, I walk past, the only destination in my mind being her house.

Wait.

I stop in my tracks and as slow as I can, turn around, with utmost fear, more than any kind of fear I have experienced in my life.

And then, as my hands slowly crush the box in my pocket, I saw what became the punishment for myself.

***

You part your lips lightly and let Lay’s come onto yours, just like that, fitting and warm.  You kept your eyes closed and you touch his hand, the one now at the back of your neck and your head, pulling you ever so closer.

For a while, the two of you stayed like that.

With your lips on each other’s, and your arms around each other.

His pair leaves yours first, and you breathe quietly, a puff of your breath visible because of the cold.  Lay, again, kisses your tears away and hugs you tight.  “It’s all going to be okay,”

“Thank you, Lay,”

You understand, that the kiss was of comfort.  You were glad for it, it calms you down.  You were glad for the person who gave it to you, because of the affection you feel for him.

You feel a cold chain settle on your wrist, and you look down at it, your eyes met with a silver bracelet, simple and small, but beautiful and sparkling under the light.

“You might not remember, but happy birthday,” Lay says quietly.