Knowing that you won’t be able to catch him in the airport, you rush into your car and rely on your car’s GPS system to locate his building.   Your mind; it was blanking out.  All that was in it was Jongdae.  Chen.  He’s here. 

Stepping hard on the gas, your car zooms through the streets of Seoul, following the directions the GPS gives you. 

You we’re driving very quickly, because when your tires screech to a loud stop, his car, was, too, only pulling up by the building’s entry.  You run as fast as you can from your car, which was parked across the street.  You were wearing your working heels; no wonder your feet were in so much pain. 

“Jong—“

You shout, but were cut off by a loud, passing car.  The crowd gathered at the building’s entrance was the media lot.  Flashing pictures and yelling questions, which were all dismissed by the director himself. 

Grateful for your slender figure, you slip through the crowd, repeatedly getting pushed back and onto the ground by the people roughly shoving each other.  You’re also elbowed in the stomach, hit on the side of your face with a camera, not once, at that.  Lucky enough, you fell by the foot of one of the people guarding a perimeter around Jongdae.  You sense that your feet were blistered.  Your toes, your heels, the back of each feet, it was burning with pain.  But no matter.  You have to see Jongdae, right?

“Excuse m—“ You look up, squinting to get a better look at the person who has you by his foot.

There he is.

Looking down at you through his eyes.

His eyes.

His face.

His everything.

He really is here.

“Jongdae.” You stand up and stare at him, not budging from your spot.  Your lips were trembling, trying hard not to break down then and there.  It was spacy, inside the perimeters the bodyguards had made.  They were struggling, but Jongdae was collected and calm inside.  “Kim Jongdae,”

Without thinking, you step forward to put your arms around him.

“Hey!!”

Before you could even pull him close, a bodyguard catches both of your arms and yanks you away from him painfully.  Your eyes tear up from both the rough pain and the fact that you’re that close, but you still did not have the chance to touch him. 

“I know him!!” You flail, trying to shake away the bodyguard’s firm grip.  “I KNOW HIM, I’M TELLING YOU!!” You shout over the noise, but the bodyguard keeps his hands on you, trying to push you out of Jongdae’s reach.  Your tears are streaming endlessly now. 

“Director, do you know this woman?” The bodyguard asks Jongdae, still keeping you from him. 

You look into his eyes with yours, begging for him to answer.

But that was the wrong hope.

Jongdae meets your eyes.  “No, I don't know her,”

That word rang in your ears.  As quiet as it was, it rang, loud and clear.  The bodyguard just drops you there, hard, tripping on the stairs towards the building’s entrance and falling painfully on your side onto the pavement. 

You sit up weakly with a grimace and clutch the side of your arm.  ‘No,’

His eyes were cold. 

There was nothing in them.

You lean your back beside the building’s stairs and stare blankly at the pavement.  He had said no. 

The media slowly dissolves, nobody paying attention to the pitiful girl sitting by the building’s entrance.  Too much chaos had went by, you were like a lunatic, messy hair and blistered feet, plus a sprain on the left, the ones you had released from your heels’ grip.

Jongdae didn’t do anything.

He stared at you from the beginning.  He didn’t help you up.  He let that bodyguard yank your arms behind your back, away from himself.  He knew you were in pain, but he didn’t say anything.  He only answered to his bodyguard’s question.  He had said no.

He changed.

He's no longer the Jongdae you once knew.

You clench your jaw and bury your face in your hands.  Shivering from the night’s breeze, you sob, harder than you ever did, harder than you’ve ever done. 

One encounter and you thought things would've returned to normal.

But this encounter, it did nothing of the sort. 

It tramples on your years of waiting, steps on your heart without mercy, leaving it hollow with nothing to heal.

Your sobs don’t stop.  It felt like hours, people, employees of Noeseong exit their building, glancing at you like you’re a person who just ran out of her own mind.  You don’t care.  You’ve cried endlessly but your eyes and its tears continually flow, wetting your cheeks over and over again.  Even until the streets fall quiet, until the traffic reduces to almost nothing, you stay there, sobbing, hoping for something you don’t even know.  Hoping, maybe, that he’ll come out running and he’ll pull you into his arms, wiping your tears and calming you down with his very presence. 

Hours pass.

The building’s entrance opens once more, probably another employee.  But strangely, you don’t hear any footsteps.  Ones that indicate that he/she are walking down the stairs. 

You look up, and see Jongdae, looking down once again at you through the corner of his eyes.  As you catch his eyes, he looks away and walks down the steps towards his car, the one waiting in front, a black, slick, gleaming limo.

Everything snaps back into place and you stumble upright, chasing after his retreating back. 

“Jongdae,” You call out, taking a step.  “Jong—ah!”

The blisters on your feet burn with pain once more, adding up to the constant pain your sprained ankle had given you.  Your tears swell up again from the pain and you look up from your fall, exactly at the moment when Jongdae looks back at you, with an expression you can’t read because of your own tears.  He doesn’t spend another second to look at your pitiful position and he enters his car, telling the driver to drive away. 

“Oh God, no,” A woman’s voice approaches you, the click of her heels barely audible in your ears.

It’s definite, then.  The thought plants itself firmly into your head.

Jongdae has swiped you clean, away from his mind.  His letter was left out of whim.  It was nothing.  He didn’t write it with his heart.  You’re just his lady.  You’re just a person he served in the past.

Knowing that it’s Rin who is holding you in her arms, you lean into her, no longer sobbing, but left to only crying, your eyes turning completely blank, no longer having the capability to maintain feelings. 

“Baekhyun, Kris, hurry over,” She says and you feel a pair of strong arms pick you up.  You meet the eyes of Kris, who is staring at you with concern. 

Years, you’ve waited.  And now, you’re faced with reality.

“Why,” You whisper as you feel Kris carry you into a car, letting your head rest on his lap.  “Why didn’t all of you let me die there,” You wince in pain as your whole body throbs with it.  “Maybe then he would’ve came back to see me,”