One of the moments you loathe being blind is when the people who are dear to you is struck with an ilness.

And right now, you loathe your flaw.

Baekhyun’s arm becomes your guidance in the hospital, while Rin asks the nurse at the receptionist table where the patient with the name of ‘Kim Jongdae’ stays.  You fiddle with Baekhyun’s sleeve and notice that your little habit is not recognized by him.  And the sleeve is not Chen’s. 

Now, only when he’s not beside you do you realize that Chen means one heck of a lot to you.

You hate standing by the side, unable to do nothing to provide any form of attention to the condition Chen is in.  You just wait for Rin to obtain the answer and nod as she tells Baekhyun the information, the two guiding you into the lift and up the series of floors.

“Unnie, what’s the room number again?” You quietly ask.  “Just, just for my information,”

Rin, knowing well that your blindness really disturbs you at times like these, takes your other hand and pats it comfortingly.  “It’s room 186,”

“186, 186,” You repeat, the numbers immediately imprinting itself on your mind.  That’s all you can do.  Know.

The elevator doors ding in front of you and you step outside, counting on Rin and Baekhyun to take you to where Chen is.  You hear Rin mutter then numbers of the rooms, counting and counting until she goes “Ah,” And stops, as you hear a door click.

You happily smile at Chen’s muffled voice.  “Oh, Rin-ssi, hello—“

And your smile completely disappears when his sentence is cut off by a series of long coughs. 

Which, without a doubt, is his.

“Agasshi,” Cough, cough, cough.  “What are,” Cough.  “You doing here?” Cough, cough. 

“Chen, stop speaking,” You hear Kris’ voice say, gently but firmly.

“But,” Cough, cough. 

You grimace at his coughs and turn your head away.  “I, um,” Your hand lets go of Baekhyun’s.  “I’ll stay outside,”

You feel your way outside and close the door behind you, leaning your back on the wall beside it.

“—did you bring her here?”

“Because she was worried—“

“If she knows more, will she worry less?”

“Well I’m sorry for bringing her here then!”

Rin’s voice is followed by the click of a door, indicating that she had exited the room. 

“Did you,” She starts.  “Did you—“

“Yeah, I heard,” You thinly smile at your sister. 

Rin sighs and takes your hand.  “Why don’t we see his doctor?”

You nod at her offer and come with her, listening to the questions she has and the answers the person she’s speaking to gives her. 

You follow her towards where you presume Chen’s doctor is at and takes the seat she gives you, hearing her settle beside you.

The doctor greets the both of you and starts, “You are....?”

“His....” Rin begins, but hesitates, not knowing how to continue.

“Family,” You finish for her.  “We’re his family,”

“I see,” The doctor says.  “Well, patient Kim Jongdae, has bronchitis,”

You and Rin don’t need a lot of explanation for that.  You have enough knowledge of the disease.  By definition, it is an inflammation of the main air passages to the lungs.  To you, it’s just bad.  It’s an ilness.  There is no illness that comes out great. 

“Is it acute or chronic?” You immediately ask him.

“Fortunately, it’s acute, but he’ll be needing quite the treatment,” The doctor answers you, and in relief, you sigh.  Chen’s bronchitis is acute.  He can still be well.  “He was in the rain yesterday, if I’m not mistaken?”

“Yes, he is,” Rin says. 

What? Why? You keep the questions to yourself and listen to the doctor’s explanation.

“Well, that triggered this.  It must be for a quite long time did he stay in the rain, and he did not pay attention to the flu he has caught and the fever he has, so that’s how he came to lose his consciousness,”

So the loud thump back at the apartment was actually Chen’s fall.  Darn your blindness.  Darn it.  Darn your obliviousness.  Darn everything.

“He should stay for at least a week, and he’ll be okay afterwards,” The doctor finishes.  “And due to several facts, the illness is no longer contagious,”

You nod at the information and stand up along with Rin, bowing at the doctor for thanks. 

When you walked out of his office and back to Chen’s room, you hear Kris and Baekhyun’s voice clearly, which means that they’re outside.

“You’ve heard?” Kris asks you and Rin.

“Yeah,” Rin answers for you.

The facts the doctor hadn’t mentioned, the ones that made the illness no longer contagious was the period of time he had the sickness.  You don’t study for nothing, you don’t love your subjects for nothing, bronchitis can be no longer contagious when the person has been infected for more than 10 days.  Who knows how long Chen has been infected? Darn him for not telling you.  Darn him for hiding it from you.  Darn him from not wanting you to worry.  Darn you for not realizing.

“Unnie, why was Jongdae in the rain yesterday?”

And so, you came to know the cause of his illness.

It was you.

He was in the rain all night yesterday, because he paid a visit to the central buildings of the media companies of the country, to tell them to rid the articles of one word; ‘blind’.  All of that for you.  All his hardwork, his sweat, for you to be safe from the public.  His efforts worked; you experienced no mental or physical harm from everybody around you because the media did not include that crucial word that lets your identity on the loose.  They had erased it, and it’s all because of Chen.  Of Kim Jongdae. 

“Kris-ssi, Baekhyun,” You clear your throat.  “Jongdae, is he asleep?”

Kris tells you.  “No, he’s awake, why?”

“I want to see him,” You bluntly say, no longer able to hold your longing for him.

“But he—“

“I know he doesn’t want to see me, but, just, please,”

You feel Kris’ familiar hand take yours as he guides you into the room without a sound.

Despite the soundless entry, Chen isn’t blind.  He starts.  “Kris-ssi, I really need you to take agasshi out of the roo—“

“Chen,” Kris cuts him off.

“I don’t want to see her,”

At his sentence, it’s your turn to speak up.  “Shut up, Jongdae.  You don’t want to see me? I don’t care.  I’m seeing you,” You feel for the seat Kris gives you and take it, sitting beside Chen’s bed. 

“I’m uh, gonna go,” Kris says, leaving the room with a quiet click of the door.

You and Chen stay still in the room, without words.  Only silence is between you, as neither had the compulsory need of starting a conversation.

But, Chen becomes the one to break that thought.

“Agasshi, if you have nothing to say, please lea—“

“Kim Jongdae, as much as you want, you can ask me to leave and pay no heed to my presence here, but I, too, as much as I want to, will worry about you,”

“Don’t,” Chen quietly says.  “Anything, anything but worrying,”

“Heck—“

“Agasshi, I’m sorry,”

“For what?”

“For telling everybody about your job,”

“Jongdae—“

“No, I’m so sorry, agasshi.  I, I told them everything without your permission, I’m sorry, I did it without thought—“

“Jongdae, thank you,”

“Huh?”

“Thank you,” You feel his bed for his hand and find it, taking it in yours.  “Thank you for telling them, I couldn’t have done it myself, thank you.  Thank you very much.  I am, once again, forever in your debt.  Truly.  Thank you, Kim Jongdae,”

“But—“

“No buts,” Now that you’ve thanked him, you’re glad.  That suffocating bind in your chest has loosened as the words escaped your lips.  “And you, you idiot,”

“What?”

“Why did you stay in the rain yesterday? Why did you have to do all that? Why, ugh,” The tears choke your throat as you lower your head onto his bed.  “Why do you have to be so kind, Jongdae?”

You hear him chuckle and you feel his other hand on your head, carressing it affectionately. 

“Agasshi,” He starts.  “You’re thanking me for something unreasonable and yet you’re calling me an idiot for this,” You smile but let the tears flow at the familiar tinkle of his light laugh.  How you missed that sound.

“I was really lonely, you know,”

“Yeah, I’m sorry for leaving you that day.  Nothing happened though, right?”

“Right,” You lift your head and Chen lifts his hand to cup your face.  You simply lean to it and direct your gaze at where you presume his face was, even though you can’t truly see him.

“At least,” Chen begins again, wiping the streak of your tears away from your cheek.  “I didn’t lie to you,”

Yeah, he truly didn’t.  You remember when you ask him whether or not he was tired, and he had said no.  True, he wasn’t tired, he was sick.

“And I won’t be singing for you soon, I guess,” He adds. “I’m—“

“No more apologies, Jongdae.  And it’s okay, although you’re gonna have to make up for it when you’re better,”

Chen laughs at your sentence again, not pulling away from your face.  “I—“ He coughs a bit, then continues.  “You’re very dear to me, agasshi,”

does this make up for the lack of agasshixchen moments? ;D