“You stupid ! You’re ing worthless!” he yelled and I felt another kick to the stomach. I curled in a tighter ball, trying to hold in my tears and waited for him to finish.

“It’s your fault! I hate you! You aren’t even worth my breath!” yet he continues to insult. He continues to curse me. he continues even though he knows he broke my soul years ago.

This man.

“I hate you and you will never be considered my daughter! You’re pathetic. I can’t stand to look at you!” another kick and then finally he walked away mumbling some other words.

I heard his heavy footsteps walking to the door and then I heard a slam. I could still hear him cursing all the way to his old car. Then the engine started and he was gone.

Ii quickly got up and took my opportunity to go to my room and hide. I changed into an old pair of sweat pants and an old T-shirt.

I hate him. But he is right. I’m pathetic. A waste of space.

As I lay down curled under my blanket I bit my lip to try to distract myself from the pain.

Memories flooded back into my head as they usually do every night.

Her. My mother. Memories of her smiling and my dad happy.

That would never come back.

Never.

And it was my fault.

I killed her.

I couldn’t hold the tears any longer.

I cried myself to sleep like every other night.

The next day:

Dad still wasn’t back. But that was normal.

I got ready for that god awful place: school.

When i reached the gates I made sure none of my bruises were showing and then continued in to the school.

I passed by the people I pass by every day, gaining a few stares but I ignored them, like always.

I headed for my place. The place I go to think.

I noticed the same group of guys hovering over that scrawny boy once again.  

I could hear their insults as they shoved him against the wall roughly.

I couldn’t help but glance over at him.

I had long thought about helping him one day but for some reason I never do. i guess maybe it’s because I always expect him to speak up but he never does. I may back him up if he actually said something back for once.

He’s weak.

“You think you’re all that just because you’re gonna be famous?!”

“You aren’t even that good looking. You look like a chick!”

I could hear them saying.

The boy looked like he was trembling a little.

He suddenly glanced up and met my eyes for a quick second but I looked away and continued on.

That’s about all I think of him in one day.

Even though we have the same class and he’s the center of attention.

I head to the roof and head to the railing. I look out and my mind begins to wander.

Would anyone care if I’m gone? No one even cares about me at school. And of course, no one cares about me at home. I have no other family besides that wretched man called my dad.

My thoughts went back to my injuries I gained from last night.

They hurt a lot. But I couldn’t tell anyone. I had no one to tell.

School started and I headed to class.

I noticed that boy walking quickly ahead of me. maybe he was worried about being late again.

When he got to the door I watched as he apologized to the teacher who just sighed. Once the teacher turned someone threw an eraser right as I walked in. it was aimed for the boy but it hit me instead, right on a bruise on my shoulder.

And DAMN it hurt.

I clenched my fists and the class went silent.

The boy looked at me but I avoided eye contact. I ignored the stares and the giggles that erupted in the classroom and walked to my desk.

I avoided the snickering that followed me throughout the halls and headed to the gates after school.

I walked home quickly even though I really didn’t want to be home. If I didn’t get home quickly though he would be beyond pissed.

When I got to our tiny old house I realized he wasn’t there. Which was strange because he doesn’t have a job to go to. And he only goes to the bar later in the night.

(The reason he is able to afford the house is because he retired from the military and they still pay him for some damn reason. He uses the money on the house and beer.)

I shrugged it off and headed inside.

But as I continued to think about it, I realized he hadn’t been there this morning either.

Once again I tried to shrug it off and decided to take this time to do my homework that I’ve been neglecting.

I woke up from a loud slamming noise from down the hall.

I realized I had fallen asleep while doing my homework and it was around 9 pm.

I heard him cussing and then my door opened and without giving me time to respond he grabbed me and threw me to the floor.

I noticed he was slowly taking off his shirt and looking down at me with crazy eyes.

What is he…doing?

My eyes widened in fear when he spoke,

“The only thing you’re any good for is being a !”

I felt him grab my shirt and he started ripping at it.

“N-no!” I yelled for the first time since I got used to his beatings.

“Shut the hell up!” he slapped me and continued trying to take my shirt off.

This can’t be happening!

 I did my best to push him off, which didn’t take much since he was so drunk he couldn’t even stand straight.

“! You piece of ! Listen to me and do what I tell you!”

There has to be something better than this! Anything!

That’s when it hit me.

Before he could stand up straight and come at me again I dashed passed him and ran out of my room. I could hear him stumbling behind me but I kept running.

Before I knew it I was out of the house and running toward the park.

He wasn’t following me anymore so I slowed my pace. I didn’t even bother trying to fix my shirt.

I knew where I was going now.

Only one place now.

I stood in front of the road full of traffic and waited.

Tears streamed down my cheeks.

Only one way out now.