Emotional Walls
Returning To Different Feelings [IFSWYA Sequel]''Lily, it's going to be alright.'' My brother Danny held me in his arms, as we sat on the living room floor. This was the first time I returned home since the accident.
''It's not going to be ok..we're orphans Danny. We have no parents.'' I cried.
''Don't say that!'' He shook me. ''We have two parents that love us so much, and now they can finally be together.'' That was a better way of putting it.
''Danny, the last time I got to see dad was back when I left for school. That was over two years ago. I feel like I didn't get to say goodbye.'' I sniffed. For that he had no comment, he at least got to see my dad off at the airport.
''You don't have to say goodbye yet. He's still with you as long as you want him to be.'' He rocked me back and fourth making me feel like a child again. When my mom died Doojoon was the one to make me feel better. Thinking about Doojoon brought more tears. I wept into Danny's chest staining his shirt. I wept until I was in a deep sleep.
---------------------------------------------------
''Lily, you have to get up. We're all worried about you.'' Sunhi brushed my hair back as I laid in bed. ''I'm going to bring you a drink.'' She left my room, and not much later someone opened my door again.
''Guys be quiet.'' I heard Junhyung hiss. I didn't look up, but I could feel the presence of many people.
''Go away.'' I said blankly. (lol anyone watch simon and martina's MAMA kpop monday? If you have then you'll get why I'm bringing them up >///<)
''It's us Lily.'' I heard Dongwoon's deep voice.
''Go away.'' I said again.
''No!'' Gikwang took a seat next to me on my bed. ''We're staying here with you. if you want to be left alone, then we'll be quiet, but we're not leaving.'' He protested.
''I don't want-'' I sat up, getting ready to curse them out for not leaving, but I couldn't Seeing each of their faces trying so hard to give me support, and love made my throat block away any angry words.
''Yes, you do want us here.'' Yoseob put his arm on my shoulder.
''Where's Doojoon?'' I croaked.
''He's working...'' Hyunseung was the one Doojoon called when he had the nerve to have me escorted out of his office. He knew more than anyone how much I resented Doojoon, and anything that had to do with his stupid NEPA company.
''I see...he's too busy for old high school friends like me.'' I could feel the heaviness in my throat coming back, and the corners of my mouth slowly fell into a frown. Once I started frowning it was impossible for me to stop myself from crying.
''Lily, you have us.'' Dongwoon said softly as I fell back into my pillow.
''Why does he hate me so much?!?'' I sniffed.
''It's not that he hates you personally, he just doesn't realize how he can hurt people sometimes.'' Gikwang said.
''Well, from now on nothing is going to hurt me. I'm building an emotional wall that blocks any emotions. My dad's accident made me realize something.'' I wiped away my tears. ''Life's too short to cry over everything. In order to get any where in life I need to be an emotionless robot.''
''Lily, that's not healthy. If we all walked around holding something deep in our hearts, we might end up exploding one day from it.'' Junhyung might've been right, but I already had my mind made up.
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