AUTHOR's POV

          Finally feeling Jessica return her kisses, Taeyeon felt like she was on cloud nine despite crying and hurting over the things that had happened. Their lips against each other indeed helped in calming their storm within. Taeyeon's tear silently fall down her cheek as she savour Jessica's luscious thin lips. It's as if she can feel every struggle Jessica went through each time she'll part her lips to capture the younger girl's over and over again. Taeyeon naturally pulled Jessica closer by holding her waist, deepening the kiss even more while Jessica keeps up with Taeyeon's pace as she hold her face. 

Suddenly feeling the need to breathe, Jessica immediately parted her lips away from Taeyeon's. Her timing was just perfect. Their kiss wasn't too short but neither too long, giving the both of them an utmost satisfaction. Seeing Taeyeon still has her eyes closed, Jessica used it as an opportunity to get away from her. They never wanted it to end. In fact, they both knew it could lead to something more if neither of them pulled away. 

"Sica!" Taeyeon tries to chase after her again but failed to do so as Jessica already closed the door on her. Jessica sat herself on the ground and started crying again while leaning her back on the door. She knows exactly what she wants but choosing her own happiness means causing misery on other people. She couldn't stomach it out of guilty. 

Why is being selfish hard to do? Why does it have to make other people hurt?

"Come on, don't leave me hanging like this." Taeyeon continuously tries to open the door. "I know you're afraid to decide on things but we can work it out. Just please, talk to me." 

Jessica couldn't stop herself from crying at this point. And if she ever choose happiness, it would turn out like she didn't respect Taeyeon's relationship with Tiffany at all. What would people think? That she's the one who ruined everything. Like she said, just because Taeyeon broke up with Tiffany, doesn't mean things would become easy for them. 

"Taeyeon, please...you're not making it easy for me." she calmly told the older girl in between her cries. After making her feel like she's been locked out of heaven, there comes feeling like in hell. "Please, leave." 

Taeyeon leaned her forehead on the door and let her tears fall as she look down. She's now on the verge of giving up. It's harder to convince Jessica than she thought. "I'm sorry..." she said weakly. "I'm sorry for causing you trouble. For making you feel like this." Taeyeon is barely speaking loudly but Jessica could hear her just fine. "I'm so sorry for everything, Sica. I wish I could've been better." Jessica could only hug her knees as she listen to Taeyeon's quavering voice. 

They stayed like that for a while, listening to each other's cries until Taeyeon decided to speak again. "Do you remember when we went to the oceanarium and during the fireworks show, you were holding my hand?" 

Jessica did not answer but she remembers it all too well. How warm it felt interlocking fingers with Taeyeon. How it felt safe being near her. How she realized she wanted more dates with her. 

"Well, I accidentally came across a video of you during that time. And you really looked beautiful in it. You were busy watching the fireworks but I was busy recording you." the older girl puts up a smile, remembering how Jessica looked so beautiful that night. It took her breath away. "Had I realized it then..do you think we'd be together instead?" 

Jessica felt like someone just pierced needles in her heart once more, thinking about how things would've turned out differently if they got together instead. In the middle of her sobs she answered, "Yeah." she nodded her head. "For sure, Taeyeon." 

Taeyeon shut her eyes tightly after hearing Jessica's response knowing she could've been with her. She grabbed a fistful of her hair and hissed just thinking about the what could have beens. "Sica, I'm going to fix everything. I am going to fix all of this, I promise. Just come out the door...let's talk this out." she tried again, looking desperate. 

As much as she wanted to open the door and go back into her arms, Jessica remained sat onto the floor, hugging her knees. "Taeyeon, I can't do this right now. Please, just leave before Tiffany sees you there." 

Knowing no words could ever make Jessica come out the door, Taeyeon finally gave up. She thought she could always come back but for her, it would be better if they talk things