Karina, you’re confusing me. I’m trying to not think much of it, but it’s so hard. Hindi na ako maka-focus sa pag-rereview, and I am just here observing her in her sleep like a creep. Will she remember? If she does, are we even going to talk about it? Should we even talk about it?

 

My back hurts na rin from sitting on her bed, and my eyes feel tired. I did not get enough sleep kasi last night, and mukhang nawawala na ‘yung effect sakin ng caffeine. I grabbed a chair, and put it beside Winter’s bed. Dito na lang muna ako umupo so I can lean, but I guess tiredness took over my body. I didn't even notice that I fell asleep na pala.

 

I woke up to the sound of the door opening, and it’s Winter’s mom. I composed myself, and I stood up to greet Winter’s mom.

 

“Good evening po, tita,” I greeted her mom who has an apologetic expression right now.

 

“Good evening rin, iha… Nagising ba kita?” She asked.

 

“No, no. It’s okay lang po,” I quickly answered.

 

“Karina, diba?”

 

“Opo.” I don’t know why I feel intimidated by Winter’s mom even though she’s soft-spoken.

 

“Akala ko may exam kayo. Anong oras ka dumating, iha?”

 

“Morning lang po ‘yung exam. I went after po. Somi was here earlier po, but she had to go to her classes na po.”

 

Her mom just nodded and smiled. “Sobrang galang mo naman na bata. Parang kada salita may po,” her mom laughed while sharing her observation. I laughed a little awkwardly too.

 

“Kakatulog lang ba ni Winter?” Her mom asked me again.

 

“Medyo kanina pa po.” It’s 5:30pm na rin, and Winter fell asleep shortly after taking her medicine.

 

“Pabayaan mo muna siya diyan. Bumabawi ng pahinga katawan niyan… Kain muna tayo sa baba, iha,” invited her mom, but I’m too shy to stay na.

 

“It’s okay lang po, tita. I’ll go home na po siguro,” I picked up my stuff and returned the chair to its original position.

 

“Ano ka ba? It’s the least I can do to thank you para sa pagbabantay kay Winter ngayon,” her mom linked arms with me. “Don’t worry. Bumili talaga ako ng pang-meryenda natin dahil nasabi ni kumare na may bisita si bunso.”

 

Tita brought me to the dining area and asked me to sit. I think it’s more nakakahiya kung tatanggi ako sa mom ni Winter, so I just followed her.

 

“Tita, can I help you with anything po?” I was about to stand up because it felt awkward na panoorin lang ‘yung mom ni Winter na mag-ayos ng snacks namin.

 

“Hindi na, iha. Maupo ka na lang dyan. Tama na ‘yung sinamahan mo si Winter dito maghapon.” Tita served me a plate of lasagna, and naglagay rin siya ng isa pang plate sa tabi ko for herself. “Sorry ah. Hindi pa ako nakakapagluto. Umorder lang ako kanina ng lasagna. Paborito kasi ni Winter.”

 

“It’s okay lang po.” This is actually more than enough.

 

“Ano gusto mong drinks? Coke, sprite, royal, or iced tea?” Winter’s family is hospitable talaga.

 

Now, I know kanino nagmana si Winter. She’s a lot like her mom when it comes to being generous and maasikaso sa mga tao.

 

“Water na lang po, tita.” Her mom laughed a little before siya bumalik sa table with a glass and a pitcher of water.

 

“Buti ka pa hindi ma-softdrinks. ‘Yung si bunso, minsan almusal pa lang, umiinom na ng coke,” her mom complained, and I laughed softly because napansin ko na rin ‘yun about Winter.

 

“Opo nga, tita. I noticed rin po na she really likes softdrinks and junk foods.”

 

“Pati sa school, ganun kinakain niya?”

 

“Not always naman po. When we’re too busy with studying lang po, but minsan po pinipilit ko siya kumain ng proper meal.”

 

“Nako. Ang kulit talaga ng batang ‘yan, kaya siguro nagkasakit ‘yan ngayon. Irregular na tulog, hindi pa maayos kumain,” her mom said with a sigh. “Papasok pa dapat ‘yan kanina. Pinigilan ko lang kasi nagdugo na ilong.”

 

“I heard nga po from Ning. Buti nga po she didn’t come to school na kasi pagdating ko po kanina, mataas pa po lagnat niya.”

 

“Thank you talaga, Karina,” her mom rubbed my arm as she thanked me.

 

“No problem po, tita,” I smiled. “And it’s Somi po who stayed with her the whole morning.”

 

“Ay, buti pinaalala mo ulit. Ma-chat nga si Somi mamaya.”

 

Winter and Somi must be really close to the point na her mom is chatting with Somi. What is it to me naman? It’s none of my business.

 

“Ngayong sem lang ba kayo naging classmates ni Winter?” Her mom asked me.

 

“Since first year pa po, tita,” I said as I shook my head. “Pero ngayon lang po na all classes po.”

 

Tita just nodded at me, and since tapos na kami kumain, she started to clean the table na.

 

“Tita, ako na po.” I tried to help her.

 

“Hindi na, iha. Don’t worry. Onti lang naman ‘to,” she put our plates sa sink. “Wait lang ah,” she went to their living room, and I smiled and nodded at her.

 

I am hesitating kung huhugasan ko na ba ‘yung plates sa sink, or I should just let Winter’s mom, but as soon as I stood up, bumalik na ‘yung mom niya.

 

She handed me a huge photo album. “Tignan mo na lang muna si baby Wintot,” her mom chuckled.

 

Oh, so this album is full of Winter’s childhood photos? I’m curious so I started scanning the photos inside.

 

I can’t help but laugh because the pictures are so cute. Meron silang mga family picture where everyone’s smiling properly except for Winter na naka-wacky pose in most of them. Marami rin siyang pictures with her sisters holding her nung baby pa siya.

 

I stopped sa isang page because sobrang cute niya lang sa picture. It’s a picture with her mom who’s wearing a sablay, and Winter has an angry expression on. Her brows were furrowed, and she was also clenching her fists.

 

“May topak siya nung araw na ‘yan,” Winter’s mom spoke behind me. “MA Graduation ko ‘yan. Init na init si bunso kaya tinotopak. Ayaw magpa-picture.” I laughed.

 

I continued looking at the photo album, while Winter’s mom told me the story behind some of the photos, like ‘yung picture niya nung third birthday niya where she’s crying because she wanted to eat the cake na daw.

 

I returned the photo album, and I checked the time. It’s almost 7pm, and I still need to study for our exams tomorrow.

 

“Tita, late na po pala. I’ll go home na po. Thank you po ulit,” paalam ko.

 

“Ako dapat mag-thank you sayo, iha… Wait na lang natin si Taeyeon makauwi para mapahatid kita.”

 

“Hindi na po, tita. Nakakahiya na po. It’s bothersome na po,” I politely rejected. Her sister is coming back from work, and she might be tired na. Nakakahiya pang magpahatid.

 

“Wala lang ‘yun. Mas nakakahiya nga na ikaw pa nagbantay kay Winter habang wala kami.”

 

“It’s okay lang po, tita. Sa may Katipunan lang naman po ako. I can commute naman po.”

 

“Sure ka ba, iha?”

 

“Yes po.”

 

After much convincing that I’ll be fine commuting pauwi, Winter’s mom finally let me go.

 

While I’m on my way pabalik sa condo, I received a Facebook friend request from Winter’s mom. I accepted it, and her mom messaged me.

 

Grace Kim [7:13 p.m.]: Gud pm, iha. Dito na ate Taeyeon dapat nag-w8 na lang u.

Grace Kim [7:13 p.m.]: Ingat u pauwi. Thank you ulit

Karina Yu [7:14 p.m.]: haha okay lang po tita. thank you rin po. i’m near na rin po

Grace Kim [7:14 p.m.]: Sge iha wag na u reply naku baka madukutan u phone dyan

 

I just reacted to her mom’s message with a heart. Winter really takes after her mom. Meron silang certain aura that just makes talking with them comfortable.

 

Winter came back to school agad the next day. She still doesn’t look that well, but much better than yesterday. I can see her massaging her temples from time to time, and every time na nakikita ko siyang ginagawa ‘yun, I ask if she’s okay.

 

I wanted to invite her to have lunch with Yeonjun and I sana, but Somi’s already waiting for her sa labas ng building.

 

Well, that’s good.

 

It looks like she doesn’t remember what she said in her sleep too. She never brought it up, and we’re okay naman. No awkwardness or anything.

 

“Okay ka lang? Parang lalim ng iniisip mo ah,” Yeonjun said while we’re walking back to my building.

 

I actually told him na I can go by myself na, but he insisted. I don’t have the energy to debate with him pa, so I just let him. Every time he does things like this kasi, the more I feel worse and burdened that I can’t reciprocate his feelings.

 

“Just stressed about finals.” Actually, stressed about finals, but also stressed about overthinking pretty much everything. How to reject Yeonjun, the thing Winter said, the talk I had with Gigi.

 

“Hmm,” he hummed as he nodded. “Matatapos na rin ‘to. Next week, freedom week na.”

 

Yeah. Next week, no more exams, and next week, I’ll confront Yeonjun na rin.

 

“Friday na lang tayo mag-samgyup?” Right, I kind of forgot about that already. I actually don’t want to go na sana, but I think I owe him one for accompanying me yesterday even though I canceled on him.

 

“Sure.”

 

It’s finally Friday, and maaga kami natapos today. We’re done with exams na kasi last Wednesday so today’s for talking about the final requirements lang, and nag-take lang kami ng class photos.

 

Winter went to our other professor since ngayon naka-schedule ‘yung special exam niya. I wished her good luck before she left the room, even though she probably doesn’t need it. Winter’s definitely acing that exam.

 

I’m waiting for Yeonjun now since mas late tapos ng classes niya today than mine. I just told him na nasa labas lang ako ng main lib. I haven’t visited Myong the whole week, and I brought cat treats for him.

 

As soon as naupo ako sa stairs, Myong placed himself on my lap.

 

“Masyado ka yatang namiss ni Myong, ma’am,” sabi ni kuya guard dito sa main lib.

 

“You missed me?” I asked the cat habang pinepet ko siya, and he meowed which sounded like a complain. I laughed and started to feed him the treats I brought.

 

I don’t know why I suddenly thought of Winter. Well, maybe because we used to hang out here a lot. I remember lang nung muntik na siya maihian ni Myong, buti mabilis reflex niya, and she was able to put him sa floor before he peed on her completely. I internally laughed sa memory.

 

Hay, I always see Winter naman, but why do I miss her?

 

 

And as if the universe is playing some kind of game with me, nakita namin sila ni Somi sa samgyup place.

 

“Okay lang ba sayo sumabay tayo sa kanila?” Yeonjun asked me before we approached Winter and Somi.

 

“Sure,” I answered a little reluctantly. It will be fine, right?

 

“Sure ka?” Yeonjun confirmed.

 

“Yeah. Why not?” I said with a little confidence now. I mean it will make this less of a “date” if we’re with other people.

 

Yeonjun asked them if we could share a table na lang, and they agreed to it naman.

 

But now, I regret agreeing to this.

 

They’re acting a little too sweet. Somi’s grilling meat for Winter, while Winter’s feeding her.

 

I was surprised when everyone looked at me. Tinignan ko ‘yung hand ko, and my grip on my cup was too tight. Did I just slam the cup?

 

“Sorry. Nadulas sa hand ko,” I quickly made up an excuse.

 

Are they a thing now? But Winter will probably tell me if they’re together, right? Also, it’s too fast. They just ran into each other again last month lang. But again, she’s Winter’s first crush, so it kind of makes sense?

 

Why am I even bothered about this?

 

Yeonjun’s talking with them, and I can’t understand anything na. I am not paying attention.

 

Winter suddenly asked if I’m okay, and sinabi ko na lang na I’m stressed about finals.

 

I’m stressed about you, Winter. What if Gigi’s right, but I’m too late? I don’t want to rush things too. I don’t want to conclude agad na I like Winter because what if hindi pala? Winter has been hurt enough. I don’t want to lose her as a friend.

 

“Pero curious lang ako. Magjowa ba kayo?” My ears suddenly perked up sa question ni Yeonjun kanila Winter and Somi.

 

“Baliw. Hindi no,” Winter quickly denied, and I felt relief washing over me.

 

“Hindi kami magjowa, pero bagay ba kami?” Somi joked as she clung onto Winter, but I saw a glimmer of hope in her eyes. 

 

Winter is so dense. Can’t she see that Somi likes her?

 

She said na hindi ‘to first time na someone thought they were a couple, and that made me feel strange. 

 

Is this really jealousy? 

 

I excused myself para mag-CR. I really did nothing sa restroom, except look at myself in the mirror. What I was seeing was just too much for me, and I wanted to compose myself.

 

I’ve never liked a girl before. No judgment to those who do, like we all have our preferences, and I respect that.