I was a little confused when I woke up pero naalala ko na nag-sleepover nga pala ako dito kanila Winter. The way I acted last night was really embarrassing pero matatakutin kasi talaga ako. Whenever I watch horror or suspense shows and movies, I cannot sleep alone. That’s why I asked Winter to hug me to sleep, and it felt comforting.

 

Honestly, napapansin ko na I’ve been way too clingy pagdating kay Winter. I just feel so comfortable around her, and she just gives the warmest hugs. She just gives you the feeling na magiging okay lahat.

 

Speaking of which, I was expecting Winter to be beside me ngayon, but I looked around her room and noticed na ako na lang naiwan sa room ni Winter. I reached for my phone na nasa bedside table, and it’s almost 10 a.m. na pala. I also have an unread message from Yeonjun.

 

He’s been trying to impress me since last week. Well, hindi ko lang naman assumption ‘to because he told me clearly nung first time naming mag-lunch together nung Tuesday. My best friends are aware din, and they’ve been teasing me about it. Gigi’s always saying na dalaga na raw ako because this is the first time I entertained someone who likes me or has a crush on me. Yeah, I’ve never had a boyfriend, and never pa rin akong nagkagusto since I was always busy with school and extracurricular activities.

 

“Karina, gusto ko lang sabihin na crush kita,” he shyly said. “If hindi pa obvious,” he added with an awkward laugh.

 

I don’t know how to respond to that. I mean kakakilala ko lang sa kanya. I couldn’t speak so there was this awkward silence between us.

 

“Don’t worry. No pressure naman. Hindi naman ako nag-eexpect ng sagot or reciprocation kaagad,” mabilis niyang sabi after a while na hindi ako nakapagsalita. “Gusto ko lang klaro na hindi lang regular friendship gusto ko.” He avoided looking straight at me when he said that.

 

I appreciate his honesty, but for now I really don’t see him as anything other than a new friend. “Thank you.” That’s the only response I could give him right now.

 

He just nodded at me understandingly, and kumain na lang kami while talking about random stuff.

 

Yeonjun is a genuinely good guy. Kung may isa akong napansin this week na magkasama kami most of the time, it’s the fact that he is a gentleman. At alam kong it’s natural lang sa kanya at hindi lang for the sake of impressing me kasi nakita ko rin naman how he treats other people around him.

 

However, hindi naman sa choosy ako or what, I just don’t see myself being in a romantic relationship with him, or with anyone right now.

 

To be honest, ‘yung major reason why I agreed to have lunch with him is because he’s Winter’s friend. I just wanted to be polite, pero syempre factor pa rin ‘yung effort niya last week na magbigay ng food. I thought I’d give him a chance.

 

Also, I don’t like how things between Winter and I suddenly became awkward again. I don’t know if it’s just me but lately it feels like merong invisible barrier between us, and it’s been bothering me.

 

Another thing about Yeonjun is he’s observant like me.

 

“Okay ka lang ba, Karina?” The guy walking beside me broke the silence between us habang naglalakad kami to grab lunch.

 

“Hmm,” I just hummed and nodded my head in response. Truth be told, hindi ako okay. I’m not used to the way Winter is acting around me these days. It’s like she’s avoiding me as much as possible. Did I do something wrong?

 

“Kanina pa kasi pakunot-kunot noo mo eh,” he said with a chuckle. “Alam mo ba good listener ako? So if may problema ka, pwede mo naman sabihin sakin… Kung komportable ka lang naman.”

 

Well, screw it. I want to get this off my chest. I haven’t told my best friends about this yet because Yeji always has this teasing look whenever I talk about or mention Winter simula nung birthday ko. Anyway, there’s no harm naman siguro if I tell Yeonjun.

 

“Actually,” I started, and he looked at me while waiting for me to complete my sentence. “Nabobother ako.”

 

“Dahil?”

 

“You know that feeling when you’re super close to a person, pero all of a sudden, things between you change?” I looked at Yeonjun, and he nodded as if urging me to go on. “Parang ganun kasi kami ni Winter ngayon.” I sighed.

 

We stopped at a food kiosk muna because Yeonjun said earlier na gusto niya ng kwek-kwek. Umorder muna siya before we resumed talking.

 

“Bakit naman sa tingin mo nagkaganun kayo ni Winter?” He asked me pagkatabi namin sa gilid to wait for his order.

 

“We barely talk lately, and nag-uusap na lang kami when we have activities sa class… I feel even weirder because parang there’s something she wants to tell me but she’s hiding it from me instead.” 

 

I noticed kasi na parang problemado si Winter this week. First, her low score during one of our quizzes. It’s just not like her. Then hindi rin siya nagpapay attention nung last lab activity namin.

 

“Kailan mo napansin ‘yung changes?” Yeonjun asked.

 

“This week?” I answered unsurely. I don’t know pero last week I’m pretty sure na okay na okay kami. For a second, nag-change ‘yung expression ni Yeonjun. I don’t know if it was worry or confusion. I couldn’t read it properly because he shook it off agad.

 

“Pero diba binilhan mo pa siya ng food last Tuesday?” I nodded. That was actually when I started to notice that something’s off. At first, I thought Winter wasn’t feeling well lang, but the whole week it felt like we were just regular classmates.

 

“Baka busy lang talaga siya this week,” sabi ni Yeonjun. “Kung nabobother ka talaga, siguro kausapin mo siya. Sabi nga nila, communication is the key.”

 

“You think so?” Tumango sakin si Yeonjun. “Thank you. Talking about it made me feel a little better.” Yeonjun just smiled at me before siya bumalik sa may kiosk para kuhanin yung kwek-kwek niya.

 

The talk helped but I still can’t free myself from this bothering feeling.

 

Anyway, I feel bad because shortly after that conversation nangyari ‘yung unfortunate event. Yeonjun spilled some of his kwek-kwek’s sauce sa laptop sleeve ko, and that was like a trigger that made me snap. I really did not mean to be cold to Yeonjun pero nawala lang talaga ako sa mood. Maybe it’s a mix of the things I am feeling and PMS? I don’t know.

 

I haven’t talked to Yeonjun simula kahapon, and it’s making me feel guilty because he’s been really nice to me. Same reason why I can’t directly turn him down. Hindi naman siguro ako paasa, right? Naghahanap lang naman ako ng appropriate timing and way to reject him.

 

Yeonjun [8:02 a.m.]: Good morning, Karina. Sorry kung sobrang agang message pero gusto ko lang ulit mag-sorry about yesterday. I hope you got home safely. Have a nice weekend. :)

 

Karina [9:51 a.m.]: good morning rin. no need to apologize. if anything, it’s me who should be apologizing. sorry for snapping at you yesterday

 

Ibabalik ko dapat sa bedside table ‘yung phone ko, but Yeonjun replied immediately.

 

Yeonjun [9:51 a.m.]: Quits na lang tayo haha

Yeonjun [9:51 a.m.]: Hinatid ka ba ni Winter kahapon? Sorry for that may emergency meeting kasi kami para sa isang final project

Karina [9:52 a.m.]: sure haha. yeah but actually nag-sleepover ako dito kanila winter

Yeonjun [9:53 a.m.]: Oh

Yeonjun [9:53 a.m.]: So okay naman ba kayo?

Karina [9:54 a.m.]: yeah thanks for the advice. we talked and we’re okay

Yeonjun [9:55 a.m.]: Glad to be of help

 

Before I could reply, someone knocked gently on the door.

 

“Mareng Kars?” Ning said softly as she entered Winter’s room. “Ay gising ka na pala eh. Good morning.” I can’t help but smile sa biglang pag-change ng volume ng boses ni Ning.

 

“Good morning,” I said with a yawn.

 

“Antok ka pa, sis?” I shook my head. “Hindi ka muna pinagising ni Winter kanina kasi late na daw kayo nakatulog.”

 

“Yeah around 4 na yata ‘yun,” I said with a slight laugh.

 

“Nagluto na kami ng breakfast sa baba. Tara na,” I followed Ning pababa.

 

As we were going downstairs, I could faintly hear Winter and Somi’s laugh.

 

“Hindi kasi ganyan,” Winter said while chuckling as she properly placed Somi’s fingers on the guitar. “Ayan sige strum mo.”

 

“Anong chord ulit ‘to?” Somi asked her.

 

“G.”

 

“Respeto naman sa mga single,” Ning joked as we walked towards them na nasa living room.

 

“May something sila?” Winter’s sister, ate Taeyeon, asked with shock in her voice.

 

“Huy, wala! Imbento ‘yan si Ning,” Winter exclaimed in defense. Ning burst out laughing.

 

“Grabe ka naman maka-deny,” sabi ni Somi. “Wala po kaming something, pero kung okay lang