Genre: Angst, College, Hurt/Comfort, Romance

Summary: A bass player and a Korean foreign student share the same dorm in college. Though their relationship became more complicated by time, historians and people around them would say that they were 'roommates'.

Word Count: 17121

Hashtag: #JinjooFiestaS3_iwonder

i wonder

Tw // Homophobia

The pitch black colour on the canvas gradually seeps away as splendid hues start to colour the screen to live. Feet of people strolling fills up the whole screen, as the focus lifts slowly until a view of at least a dozen of heads is visible. Synchronously, the sound of people chattering gibberish fades in.

“That’s all for today’s campus tour! We’ve provided each of you with maps but I’m pretty sure you can always just ask anyone around here to help you with directions,” the blonde girl informs the others with bright smile and eyes sparkled with enthusiasm. A bunch of ‘thank you’s could be heard exclaimed from the crowd and her beam spreads even wider, receiving them welcomingly.

Between the crowd, a cardigan donned raven-haired girl lets a weak sigh off her lips, as she carefully scans the said provided map. “Looks like I have to spend an hour every morning just to get lost in here,” the girl shakes her head lightly, as another girl approaches her from behind.

“Don’t worry, Minju,” the other girl assures as her finger tucks her chestnut hair behind her ears from letting the soft breeze keeps on playing with her locks. She taps Minju’s shoulder lightly, “At least we’ll get lost together,”

“Sounds fun enough, Hyemi,” Minju replies short and unamused, her eyes still haven’t left the map to even spare any attention to the other. From department buildings to student dormitories, sports courts to library and other facilities, Minju tries her best to revisit those places by memory since they just ended their campus tour. But then another sigh is emitted, and she decides to just fold the map and stuff it back into her bag.

A high-pitched sound pierces through the area out of nowhere, making the crowd and also other people nearby to switch their attention to the source of the interruption. A group of people can be seen on a small stage not too far from them, setting up some speakers, mic stands and other sound equipment for what they can predict, a band performance. Minju’s focus is averted which normally, she was staring on some men managing with whatever all those wires are for. But seems like there’s something more intriguing for her to pay attention to.

The only girl on the stage. The odd one stood out the most, and apparently it attracts more attention from other audience than Minju.

The said girl has her long hair tied up high into a ponytail, and Minju witnesses the ponytail swings on the girl’s back as she takes out a bass guitar, presumably the girl’s, and cautiously brings the bass’s straps to sling across her chest and onto her shoulder. She keeps her gaze on the tall girl when the blonde intrudes her view.

Minju fidgets away a little when she feels that the other is standing a little bit too close, but Minju could see that the blonde is just trying to find a place that she can get a better view of the band.

“Giddy, are we?” Minju breaks the ice, forcing herself to start socializing, “Seems like they’re quite famous solely judging by your reaction,”

The blonde nods without missing a beat to Minju’s claim, her blue orbs are stuck on the members who are still preparing on the stage, “Yeah, they’re the school’s band! Everyone enjoys listening to them,” she professes. Minju just nods to the statement, not in approval though since she needs to listen by herself if the statement is truth or just a compromise.

Sound of strumming of bass strings echoes and manages to make Minju snaps her head back to the girl on the stage. The sound made by the bassist pique Minju’s interest, and she decides to pay her attention to the girl more, focusing as the bassist proceeds to strum a few more notes as warm ups. Thrill slowly grows deep in her heart, and she can’t help but to admire such talent especially when it is performed by someone that was less represented in the community these days.

After about 10 minutes, the band finally begins their performance, entertaining the gradually growing audience simultaneously getting entertained by the attention and love they’re receiving. Minju, who chooses to watch from afar when her other friends have already abandoned her to go closer, nods lightly to the beat, silently enjoying the show alone.

Even so her head bops get slower and it’s obvious she’s not keeping up with the heat of the show because the guitar strums and the vocal’s singing somehow fades away, becoming too slow it’s almost inaudible to her. Yet at once, the silhouette of the bass player becomes more vivid despite the distance between them is considerably distant.

Yet, she’s the only one Minju pays her focus on, without her knowing.

Minju wonders if the girl could focus on her just as much.

It’s an hour before the clock hits midnight and judging by the heavily dragged footsteps, it is evident that the owner of those feet is exhausted and ready to throw herself onto her own bed. Fishing her dorm keys in the pocket of her leather jacket, her eyes are brought to some pairs of sneakers and slippers on the shoe rack right beside the door. But she doesn’t remember owning those pairs.

Too lazy to dwell on it, the girl unlocks the door and twists the knob open only to find a stranger in her dorm. Though the sudden existence of the other is not what she has expected, the shoes on the rack outside now finally makes sense.

“Oh, h-hey,” Minju mumbles, a bit dumbfounded and not sure how to greet the other properly.

The girl replies out a weak ‘hey’ as she struggles to unshoulder a bass guitar case that has been on her back for most of the day. Minju, on the other hand just gazes the other, awkwardly shifting her weight on her bed.

Minju agitates, watching the other who still haven’t left the spot in front of the door, seems busy doing her own business, “I-I don’t know if you use shoes inside your room because you guys do that here if I’m not mistaken? But, I don’t know- the floor and the carpet seems clean and I don’t want to stain it with my shoe-“

“You’re good,” she cuts in abruptly. Minju nods obedient, feeling half relieved but also a little intimidated by how cold the other sounds. The other finally finished untying her pair of Converse and proceed to place them on the shoe rack before stepping inside.

“I’m comfortable doing so too,” the other plops all of her belongings first and then herself onto her bed. Minju nods again to the statement as a reply, a silent ‘I see’ follows up afterwards.

“Ahn Yujin, by the way,” the girl lets out a soft chuckle when Minju freezes for a moment before taking Yujin’s extended hand into hers. The handshake feels awfully stiff and it’s fair for Minju since it’s her first to greet people with… a handshake.

“I’m Minju. Kim Minju,”

“Minju,” Yujin repeats after the other and relieved to see Minju nods in approval, a good sign that she does not mess up the pronunciation.

An hour ago, both of them swore to themselves to call it a day and tuck themselves to bed since Minju is still not over her jetlag of 12+ hours of flight, and Yujin is clearly worn out with all the performances she had with her band members. Even so, here they are, ended up sitting on the carpet covered floor, slurping some cupped ramen that apparently Minju brought over.

“Oh my god,” the taller moans, her eyes shut closed as the hot soup warms her body, simultaneously satisfying her taste buds, “I couldn’t remember the last time I tasted ramen this good,”

Minju giggles, pleased to see the other does enjoy the food, though it’s just a cup of convenience store ramen, “I have plenty so don’t be shy to ask for more,”

Albeit Yujin wouldn’t have the balls to ask someone for food, she still ends up nodding to Minju’s offer shyly, because come on, who could ever resist a cup of good, tasty ramen? Minju slurps a mouthful of piping hot noodles hastily, not aware that the other has been staring at Minju for a while now.

“So,” Minju munches the remainder of noodles that are still in before carrying on, “what are you studying? Perhaps, music?” the girl reckons as her fingers busy swirling the noodles in the cup.

“I do love music, really,” Yujin replies, “But I do music just for fun. I’m studying chemical engineering, to be exact,”

Minju would lie if she says she did expect that answer to come from the other, but well, it’s fair enough. Everyone has their own respective different interests, and it gets less surprising the more that she meets diverse people out there having hobbies that have nothing to do with their jobs or profession.

“I see,” she nods, trying to store the newly gained information into her memory, “You do enjoy learning science subjects I reckon,” Minju puts her empty cup down beside her, lifting her knees to let her arms hug them.

Yujin nods, concurring, “Yeah. My mom is lucky that she could see her daughter studying what she wants,” she snickers as she takes her last mouthful of noodles. Minju nods lightly, understood every word Yujin just uttered about, well, Asian moms. Hate to be stereotypical but, they’re called stereotypes for a reason. Yujin then proceeds to throw the same question to the other, before chugging the remaining soup clean.

“I’m studying computer science,” she responds short followed by a little shrug and an awkward smile on her lips. Hesitant was evident in her tone, and Yujin wonders why.

“Yes, it’s not really something I wanted to pursue in first place, to be frank,” Minju titters softly, fingers spontaneously find their way to scratch the back of her neck – an early sign that the girl is getting antsy.

“Is it your parents? Of course, if you don’t mind answering,” Yujin abandons her empty cup, scooting a little closer.

“Nah, my mom’s fine,” Minju shakes her head, her gaze is still glued on the carpet, “She’s fine with whatever I’m pursuing, and I couldn’t stress enough how much she’s been such a good support,” Yujin witnesses the other’s lips curving a little bit wider, dark orbs being a little softer.

“It’s just, I really need full scholarship to continue studying for college. But these days there aren’t much full scholarships for the major that I wanted to pursue in,” Minju sighs, her smile hasn’t left her lips still, “Therefore, here I am,”

The taller one hums as a response, nodding lightly before shooting her gaze up back to the other, “I’m curious,” and Minju can see that in her eyes, she’s eager, “Tell me more about your interest,”

When Yujin keeps staring at the other with sheer anticipation, eyes blinking innocently and body leaning closer, it makes it harder for Minju to turn down her favour. Minju, to be honest, is more than delighted to share a few pieces of her stories though they just met, like hours ago. It’s just, she doesn’t want someone to laugh or offend her when she talks about something so personal to her. Sure, Yujin looks chill, but you really don’t know people after happens.

“Might sound funny- I mean it is funny to most people I guess,” she clears , fingers fiddling with the hem of her sweater, “Might be random but i-it would be amazing if I could like, be a movie director or something,” Minju’s voice becomes slower as she ends her response with hope that the other couldn’t hear the last few words, stuttering over her words nervously.

Yujin’s eyes are widened and is agape, “A movie director? that’s so cool!”

“I know right, that’s impossib-“ Minju reflexive response is brought to halt when she finally could comprehend what the other just said. She shoots her gaze up only to meet a sparkling pair of doe eyes burning in admiration, staring right back at her. “Did- Did you just say ‘cool’?” Minju double-checks if she did mishear anything, however Yujin’s enthusiastic nod says it all.

“It is!” the taller replies, fascinated by how can someone have such incredible dream. The both of them then carry on their conversation for a few hours more. Yujin keeps insisting on Minju to tell the other more about her passion towards filmography and Yujin swears she has never been this engrossed listening to someone sharing about stories of what they’re passionate about. To know only the base of a story might be enough but this time, she wants to listen more. If it’s possible, she wishes she could know everything about the other just in a span of tonight.

The fatigue that they both got from a hectic day suddenly vanished, and the night passes by just like how Yujin wished for – quick, yet fun.

Fun.

Yujin wonders if the other finds it fun talking to her just like Yujin does.

After five hours straight of classes, Minju can finally leave the auditorium and breathe. She winces as she feels her eyes sting, apparently strained thanks to the hours she spent for gazing too much on her laptop screen. While Minju can’t stop massaging her eyes, Hyemi on the other hand just got out of the same auditorium, slowly approaching her friend to surprise the other. Yet to no avail, because Minju does not jerk even a little when Hyemi grabbed her shoulder from behind.

“You need to stop doing that, Hyemi,” Minju mutters, hands still gently rubbing her eyes, “You’ve been doing the same prank since high school, don’t you think you need to change your strategy?” Minju opens her eyes only to find that the other is pouting, which leads Minju to emit a soft playful chuckle.

“Anyways, are your eyes okay?” Hyemi changes the topic when she could see thin red lines pop out on the other eyeballs, and it piques Hyemi’s concern.

Minju replies, shaking her head gently as she gives the other a few pats on her shoulder, “Nah, I just need some rest and I’ll be better,”

They then proceed their way to the campus’ cafeteria to have their lunch before going through their next activity in the schedule. However luckily, Minju is done for today and it’s only Hyemi who will have two more hours of notes and lectures. Three weeks, if they count the days they have spent living in the campus, yet they still have problems coordinating where the hell the school’s cafeteria is.

“At least we got lost together, am I right?” Hyemi grins as she walks side by side with the other, carrying her meal tray while eyes searching for good spot to sit.

Minju rolls her eyes as she retaliates under her breath, “As if that’s better,”

After settling in somewhere decent, they finally get to have their first bites of their lunch. Minju thought she could read one of the poem books she borrowed from the campus’ library while she eats, but the cafeteria is too loud she doesn’t think she could comprehend the poems well. Therefore, she ends up eating her meal while looking around, since she can’t eat peacefully without having an entertainment she could watch to.

Her dark orbs travel along to every curves and corners of the facility, silently judging the choice of colour palette on the walls and furniture adorning the space. Minju then continue to take some glances to the students occupying the space, realizing how they are more diversified in terms of race than her country. Though the view is unfamiliar to the eyes, she’s slowly learning on adapting and gradually finds the view is rather warm to her.

Her gaze is brought to a halt when it suddenly spots someone familiar among the sea of students. Minju tilts her head a little, putting down the spoon that she’s about to bring to just now as she gazes deeper. Those dark locks with some strands highlighted with indigo, those round dark eyes among blue and green ones. She’s too engrossed staring the other when suddenly those eyes meet Minju’s, and Minju loses her .

Hyemi switches her gaze to her friend, noticing that Minju’s cheeks are flushed with hue and her meal is only half-eaten when they’ve been sitting there for more about half an hour.

“Minju, you’re red!” Hyemi abandons her spoon and extends her arm to place her palm on the other’s forehead and cheeks, “Oh my god, you can’t be sick!”

“I’m fine,” Minju pushes the other hand away as she picks up her spoon back, “Don’t worry about me too much,”

And out of nowhere, the person that Minju has been silently praying would not appear in front of her eyes pops up, greeting them both with their famous sweet smile.

“Yujin! Where were you from?” Hyemi waves her hand friendly as she welcomes the other’s presence, “Have you eaten?”

“Yeah, I’ve already eaten,” she replies short before taking a seat right beside Minju. On the other side, Minju flinches slightly when she could feel their shoulders brushed onto each other, cursing to herself under her breath for the questionable reflex.

Hyemi widens her eyes in shock when the clock on her phone suggests that it’s the best if she rushes to her next schedule now, “Oh ,” Hyemi curses and manages to catch the other two’s attention, “I think I need to go now. I’m so sorry Yujin, I wish I could stay longer to talk,” the girl frowns.

“No, no, it’s okay,” Yujin shakes her head lightly, “Next time,”

“And Yujin, do me a favor, please?” Hyemi asks as she hastily stuffs her belongings into her bag, “Make sure this kid here,” her index finger pointing sharply towards a confused Minju, “Rests for the day. She’s a bit sick so yeah,”

“I’m not- You know what, never mind,” Minju is about to retaliate but she knows it’s just better for her to stay silent and let Hyemi says whatever she wants.

“Ah,” Yujin spares a quick glance to the girl beside her, nodding softly, “Will do. I’m good with kids so don’t worry,”

Minju rolls her eyes, chooses to ignore the fact that her roommate just referred her as a kid and continues to finish her meal. Hyemi waves them a quick goodbye before rushing to her next destination.

Minju finishes eating not long after Hyemi left, and they then proceed to walk back to their dormitory straight away since none of them have classes to attend for today. The walk is dead silent, neither of them seems to try on making effort on starting a conversation. Even so, Minju is thankful for the silence, because she’s not in mood for any social engagement.

Entering their room together, Minju dashes to her bed right away, throwing her own body onto the soft mattress as she sprawls over. The soft pillows are making her eyelids getting heavier than before but she resists the temptation since she has new assignments to be done and quizzes to be prepared. Minju then fixes herself on her bed, sitting with legs crossed as her hand fishes out her laptop from her bag.

“Woah, woah, hang on there,” Yujin, who has been watching her roommate from the other side silently finally voices up. Minju blinks in confusion, brows slightly raised as she watches Yujin approaches closer and ends up taking a seat at the corner of her bed.

“I’m afraid that I have to seize this from you for some time,” Yujin mutters as she politely removes Minju hands off her own notebook, and puts them aside.

“Wow, didn’t know you took Hyemi’s favour seriously,” as much as Minju wants to fight back for her laptop, she doesn’t have the energy to, which leads her to just give in to the taller.

“You’ve overworked yourself, even I can notice that,” Yujin beams softly, “Have some rest, at least until today. I can help you with tea, snacks or anything if you want to,”

“Hey, relax,” Minju chuckles as she loosens her legs and uncross them, “I’m not sick. I can do it on my own,” she chuckles lightly.

“No, no. I insist, at least just for today,” Yujin extends her arm, her fingers reaching towards the other head before brushing Minju’s locks calmly, “Don’t worry. You’re my baby for today,”

To say Minju is caught off guard might be an understatement. She doesn’t know why but her inside feels funny, and she’s not sure if it’s in a good way or a bad one. The word ‘baby’ resonates in her head, replaying itself over and over again as her eyes hasn’t left the others since then. Her whole face feels hotter than before, and her rapid heartbeat is gradually suffocating her. Even so, she’s not complaining for it. Weirdly, Minju enjoys the thrill.

And now Minju wonders why.

“*잘 먹었습니다,” (*Thank you for the meal)

Yujin beams warmly, nodding before taking both of hers and Minju’s plates as she heads to the pantry. Minju just awkwardly watches the other clean up their mess since Yujin keeps on insisting for her to literally just rest for the day. Minju obeys, though she hates to admit that she indeed enjoys the treatment.

As the sky gets darker and the light shining through the moon gleams brighter, usually it’s time for these living creatures to rest. However, the girls’ voices are getting even louder than usual as they laugh and chatter through the night.

“, it’s almost 2 in the morning,” Yujin curses when she checks the clock on her Nokia, picking up empty sodas can and lifts herself up to throw them all.

“It’s /only/ 2 a.m. Relax,” Minju mutters as her eyes follow the other. She’s about to take another sip of the soda when the other suddenly seizes the can from Minju’s hand and replaces it with a cup of water instead.

Minju blinks, confused. is agape, about to ask the other what’s this for before getting her words cut, “Drink that and let’s go to bed,” says Yujin, with both of her hands on her hips, and Minju almost choke on her own laughter because Yujin is acting a lot like a mother. After doing what she’s been told so, Minju watches the other takes her glass of water away as she moves to her own bed, though her feet are reluctant to do so.

The other is back from the pantry and is ready to call it a day when she notices Minju sitting on the very edge of her bed uncomfortably, round eyes staring back at the other. The little frown on Minju’s lips, and those round eyes that used to look tired all the time, Yujin can pick up that the other is expecting something else, and she’s nervous to admit it.

“Shall we sleep?” Yujin fidgets her weight on the edge of her bed, right across the other before locking her gaze to the other’s pair of eyes.

“Ah,” Minju responds, not missing a beat to the question uttered, “Y-yeah, I guess we should,” she stutters, breaking the eye contact immediately as she scoots over her bed, hands trying to reach for her blanket.

Yujin doesn’t know why, she could be mistaken but she could hear a hint of dismay in the other’s tone. Yujin might know the answer to that, but she hates to assume. And now she’s debating with herself, fighting over should she just ignore this weird, out-of-nowhere upset feeling that she hopes is mutual, or just do something about it?

‘ it’, Yujin curses internally, inhaling and exhaling before executing the only question that has been playing in her head for the past few minutes.

“You wanna sleep here?”

Minju shoots her gaze to the other, fingers that were playing with the hem of the blanket stop abruptly as the question finally dwelled on her. Yujin on the other hand, couldn’t stop fidgeting on her bed nervously, and she can’t even comprehend why she’s being this edgy.

“You know, w-we could talk until we’re asleep. Only if you’re okay with it, of c-“ Yujin stammers on her words, not realizing the other has already kicked her blanket away and make her way to her roommate’s bed.

So, here they are, lying right beside each other on the same bed under the same blanket, because they’re friends, right? Minju hates her herself, because she can’t make her own mind to stop phrasing it that way and now, she can’t sleep thanks to her own freaking brain. It’s almost two hours after they’ve switched off the lights, and judging solely by the other’s heavy breathing, Minju reckons that the other has already fallen asleep. She sighs, annoyed by none other but herself.

Shifting her sleep posture with hope it could make her slips into her dreamland easier, she finds lying on her left side is pretty cozy and warm enough. Fixing herself under the snug blanket of Yujin’s, she then shuts her eyes close when she could suddenly feel the other’s moving, emitting a few grunts before the room is silent again. Minju opens her eyes, wondering if the other is sleeping fine but only to find,

That Yujin is facing her side.

Minju quickly cups her lips before it could even release a gasp, startled by the proximity between their faces. Her eyes are closed shut, trying her best to calm her down by inhaling and exhaling for a few times before her hand could retreat from her lips. A sigh is emitted, Minju then forces herself to sleep again, though she’s been doing that for hours now. And of course, her effort is to no avail, because her stupid head couldn’t stop thinking about the distance between them that almost come to non-existent, which is the reason her heart thumps against her chest wildly.

Minju can’t do this. She can’t force herself no more.

Minju opens her eyes slowly, searching for the other’s pair of orbs which, thankfully, is a failure since the other’s sound asleep. Her eyes glide across Yujin’s soft cheeks, taking a good look on how squishable they are. Her orbs travel somewhere else before stopping at the other’s pair of lips. Minju stares. She stares at those slightly red lips, noticing a few blemishes on her lower one, assuming Yujin has a habit of picking it.

Her pupils dilated as she gazes on the other deeper, lost in her pile of stupid questions in her mind like – What would those lips taste like? Are they soft like she imagined it’d be?

Minju doesn’t even realize that she’s been staring on her lips a little too long when her composure finally come and slaps her back into reality. Minju shakes her head, cursing internally at herself as she, herself can’t believe that she let that happened. Her hand slithers under her pillow, winces softly when the screen of her phone almost blind her eyes.

It’s 2.49 in the morning, not too late for a call, she guesses.

After grabbing a few things and her coat, she dials up a number while stepping out of the room, leaving the door ajar. Minju leans on the pole, slightly shivers because of the chilly temperature though her body is covered with her coat. She stuffs her other hand into the pocket, waiting for the other on the end to pick up her call.

“Miiiiiin, what’s uuuup,”

Minju rolls her eyes, annoyed though her small beam says otherwise.

“Yuri-ya, how’s life? Busy with filming and stuff again?” Minju utters soft, eyes locked on the cars passing by the streets every so often.

“Nah, not about that please,” Minju chuckles when a sigh from the other is audible, “I’m ing exhausted after filming a commercial for five days straight so let’s talk about something else,” Yuri nags.

“You’re out?” Yuri asks the other, receiving a response from Minju right after.

“Ah,” Yuri pauses, sound of bed squeaking audible from the other, “Burning some cigarettes, perhaps?”

Minju keeps her gaze on the passing cars, eyes stooping low as her fingers fiddle with a few butts of cigarettes in her pocket. She then fishes out the cigarette box out, counting the remainders.

“Nope,” Minju mutters, supporting her phone in between her shoulder and ear, as her hands busy taking out one of the cigarettes before putting the box back in her coat pocket. Her eyes are stuck on the cigarette between her index and middle fingers, as she lets out a heavy sigh.

“Pretty sure I don’t need to remind you that you can talk to me about anything,” warmth evident in her tone as Yuri utters, “And don’t think that I won’t know you should be sleeping now, and here you are, not in your room, probably cigarettes in your pocket,”

Minju snickers, eyes still glued on the stick of nicotine, “Funny how my mom only warned my brothers about smoking,” she throws her eyes back to the empty road, staring at the street lights illuminating the graphite.

“Life’s been rough these days, eh?” Yuri sneers, a hint of concern hidden in it.

“To be honest, these few days are going pretty smooth actually,” Minju murmurs as she pulls out the cigarette box back and putting back the stick she pulled out just now before stuffing it in her pocket again, “Getting along with new friends, got to finish some assignments early, hanging with my roommate…” Minju pulls her coat tighter to her body, starting to shiver as the autumn breeze hits her skin.

“My life’s are going pretty smooth,” Minju murmurs, hands clutching tighter on her coat, “I wonder what’s awaiting me,”

Weekend finally comes again, a two-day rest that Minju believes it would be better for humankind if it’s been extended to a three-day instead. Her hand massages her strained neck due to the excessive amount she spent on her laptop. Her assignment is half completed, and Minju decides it’s time for her to take some rest of screen. A few clicks are heard when Minju stretches her body and her back, which actually does make her feel better.

Minju grabs her water bottle when suddenly a sound of door knob twisting interrupts her to do so, as she snaps her head to the direction of the door. Her lips automatically curves upward when her roommate finally comes back from what it seems like a band practice. Her eyes are glued to a tired Yujin dragging her feet across the room to her bed, throwing her body onto the soft mattress after gently unshouldering her bass case.

“Exhausted, are we?” Minju starts the conversation before chugging some water to ease her mild headache, eyes still locked on Yujin who is sprawled on her bed.

Yujin grunts lightly as she fixes her position to lean her back against the wall, legs loose and facing her roommate. Her eyes fall on Minju’s messy bun, her tired eyes and the dark circles beneath, a few strands that brush against her forehead and a few red spots on her temple. Instantly, the corner of Yujin’s lips go upward, and a soft shy sneer awkwardly comes out of those same lips.

The view soothes Yujin. Yujin doesn’t know why but she likes the effect her roommate gives her.

“You spent the whole day locked in here, I assume?” Yujin mutters while fidgeting her weight on the mattress as she crosses her legs.

“Do I look like I have anything else to do?” Minju switches on the laptop charger before eyeing the other with an attempt to display her annoyance, “Not a fan of socializing with people too, so,”

“I see,” Yujin responds, hands quick to grab her baby blue bolster before shooting the other another question, “How about boyfriend? You have one?”

Minju blinks, her eyebrows are crushed in confusion because that question comes out of nowhere. is agape and her eyes are blinking profusely, trying to decide whether that question is worth to answer now or she should just turn them down.

“Or you have more than one?”

“For God’s sake, Yujin,” Minju spares a deathly stare on Yujin who is a laughing mess, starting to find joy in poking on her roommate. Minju rolls her eyes, trying to show that she’s annoyed though her smile says it otherwise, “And for the record, no, I have none,”

Yujin’s remaining chuckles are brought to a halt abruptly and her eyes widen as she stares on a confused Minju before her eyes go skeptical, “Nah, it can’t be. You’re lying,”

Her hands are brought to her hips as Minju stares the other with her annoyed expression, “I’ve told you everything so I won’t repeat myself, bub,”

Yujin nods as she tries to comprehend the new information she gained, though she’s still a little bit skeptical with the other’s response just now, “Exes?”

Minju throws her eyes on the ceiling, trying to find a perfect answer to the question before shaking her head lightly, “The last time I dated someone is when I was in high school and I refuse to consider them my ‘exes’, ” Minju shrugs lightly before adding more, “Guys are disgusting anyway,”

After listening to the other’s answer, Yujin nods her head slowly, registering Minju’s response word by word before chuckling softly to the short statement her roommate added at the end. Well, Yujin has nothing to disagree.

Yujin’s daydream then is interrupted by a counter attack from the other, “How about you?”

Yujin lifts her gaze to meet the other round eyes, looking so calm with a tad of curiosity at the same time before she’s hit by the same question again, “You have a boyfriend?”

Minju tries her best to appear stoic and to slow her heartbeat down because she swears, she could hear her heart thumping against her chest and that needs to calm the down. It for Minju to keep on ignoring this weird feeling that keeps on building up in her, but she doesn’t know how to handle if she chooses to stop ignoring them though. Even so, Minju waits patiently for the other’s answer while telling herself not to expect anything since, everyone knows that expectations hurt you more than anything.

“Well, technically I don’t have one,”

/Technically/ she doesn’t have one.

Which means /non-technically/ she does have one.

Minju scoffs internally, not sure how to feel with the response she just received. She doesn’t care much if it’s bad news or good ones, she still feels awfully and strangely hurt by the answer. However, the last thing she wants is for Yujin to notice the disappointment smeared on her face so pretending she’s fine for few more minutes maybe won’t hurt anyone, Minju thinks.

“Ah,” Minju replies, head nodding softly, “So you guys haven’t made it official, I suppose?”

Yujin emits a heavy sigh, the heaviest one Minju has ever witnessed before she continues, “I don’t know. M’not even sure if both of us want to,”

“A complicated one, huh?” Minju lifts her eyebrow, attempting her best to sound undisturbed.

Yujin shrugs lightly as her lips draw a frown, “Yeah,”

And that is the first time Minju has ever seen and listened to her roommate being sad, and it’s because of… a man. Minju somehow can’t get the picture of Yujin’s frowning out of her head, and she spends the remaining hours of her day with that image displaying in her mind without a second passes by. It aches her to be reminded about that. That there’s a guy made Yujin felt sad. There’s a guy that Yujin puts her expectations to and would feel upset when those expectations isn’t met. And yet, the worse part is, it’s a guy.

“Of course it’s a guy, god dammit,” Minju whispers angrily as she finds herself lonely again on the balcony of her dormitory late at night. No stars show up on the dark sky tonight, only the moon displays its loyal self to enlighten the navy canvas. Minju is getting a hang out of the chilly breeze hitting her skin at night, plus the cigarette smoke might contribute heat to keep her warm, though a little.

Her eyes follow the grey smoke floating up in the air, before getting blowed by the gentle wind. She sniffs, inhaling in the reeking smoke deep. Her gaze is stuck on the burnt cigarette, watching the tip of the cigarette become ashes as they drop in a bottle cap that Minju managed to prepare beforehand. The orange flame emitted from the tip reflected on Minju’s dark orbs, puking strong odor of chemical and grey smoke.

A ringing sound resonant through the open space and immediately caught Minju’s focus from the blazing cigarette between her fingers. Hastily, she receives the call, as she sniffs the smoke at the same time before exhaling soft.

“Minnie, you alright?” Yuri starts the conversation right away, without having any ‘how’s the weather there’ to open the chat.

Minju releases a sigh, eyes stuck on the burning tip of the cigarette, “Yeah- I mean, I don’t know. I’m still alive so that’s a good sign,”

“My god,” Yuri pauses, wondering what’s wrong with her friend, “That sigh just now, explain to me,”

Minju places her cigarette lightly, making sure the ashes do not spill over before bringing her fingers to her locks, ruffling them in distress, “Man, I don’t know,” she grunts, “I hate to say this to you because it’d mean that I have to accept this too and stop being in denial,” Minju cries before adding, “But I don’t want to!”

“Damn this sounds heavy,” Yuri remarks, “Go ahead, Minju. Seems like you have no choice but to tell me and yourself about whatever this is,”

The raven-haired girl ends up sitting on the floor, back leaning against the balcony’s poles. Down, Minju’s eyes are focused on that direction ever since the past half an hour, and her mood for the day could also be described using the same vocabulary. By spilling the beans to her best friend, Minju doesn’t think that that could make her day (or night) better. Nevertheless, she gives Yuri the benefit of the doubt and, here goes nothing.

“I have a crush,”

…

“H-“ Yuri stops herself before finishing the rest of her sentence, “How is that??? A world-class problem???”

Minju rolls her eyes, getting a little bit irritated by her friend not being able to comprehend her, “Of course it is! First thing first, I’m here to study! Not to find a girlfriend,”

Yuri was about to retaliate her friend immediately when what Minju just said finally dwelled completely in her mind. The silence from the other made Minju feels anxious, but it’s too late to retreat her words so let’s just spill everything and Minju will just see how bad or good it will go.

“Did you-“ Yuri sounds lost on her own words, not sure if she’s confused, or hesitated, or both, “Did you just said ‘girlfriend’?”

Minju gives the other silence as a reply, as she, too, not sure of what she supposed to do when suddenly Yuri adds more, “Are you… coming out to me?”

Minju bites her lips, starting to feel a bit anxious, “I don’t know. I’m not sure if I want to deal with that now,” she tugs her coat tighter, getting more desperate for heat since her sudden confession causes anxiety and heat loss from her body, “But what I’m certain right now is that… I like her,”

“I see,” Yuri replies short, “Wait, are you talking about- about that bassist roommate of yours?”

Minju tilts her head slightly, confused on how her friend could guess it spot on without any clue given, “Am I…? That obvious…?”

A chuckl