After a long time I finally went to have meal in the dining room. Until then I ahad lways eaten in my room. It was dinner time and Kyungsoo was on my side as I we walked towards the dining room. I didn't tell him about major Park and my wound and kept it as a secret. I told Kyungsoo most of things that bothered me, but I just didn't feel like sharing this with him.

I was getting better faster than I expected, even thought major Park had hurt my hand pretty well. He took a good care of it after doing that to me and there were almost no signs that it had actually happened. I almost wasn't sure if Jongdae believed me if I told him what had happened. 

Kyungsoo and I sat a bit away from others to have some privacy. Kyungsoo liked to tell me storied about his day and trainings. I was always more of a quiet type of a person and liked listening to him. He would tell me the funny parts or just complain about how very boring it was. I sometimes envied him for having trainings with major Zhang and his own unit. I couldn't train regulary with my unit and after all I had to be with major Park. 

Even though I wasn't having meals in the didnng room for a long time, I felt comfortable very soon. It was like I didn't even leave and the atmosphere was fiendly and welcoming.

Once I ended eating, I headed to my room and Kyungsoo caught behind me. We talked a lot already, but he oviously had more to tell. We always had something to share, even if it was not really importantin the moment.

"Baekhyun, today is a party again! Would you come? You didn't come last time, please do now," Kyungsoo begged. 

"How often do you go to parties!?" I complained. It wasn't long since he had been on a party and now he wanted to go again. However, it didn't bother me that much anymore, because he didn't drink that much and came back all safely, without doing anything stupid. He got a good lesson on the first party and I knew that he was still trying to get Jongin's attention. 

"As often as I can," he said like it was something normal. I sighed and thought about it.

"No, I am not going, also... Could you tell me about it before and not in the last moment. I hate how I have to change my plans for evening," I said at last.

"You didn't even have plans, did you?" he looked at me a bit disappointed. "You never do anything else than throwing your precious time in your room!" 

"Okay, that is true, but I still—" 

"—Common, nothing bad will happen," he made puppy eyesa and pouted.

"Maybe you are right, but I am still not going. I don't feel ready yet and there is still a lot of danger. I can't afford another week in a hospital wing!" I said. Kyungsoo just rolled with his eyes.

"So, I have to go alone again?" he asked.

"You got Minseok... And Jongin—" I said.

"—Jongin has me for a minion! He hates me!" he complained.

"But not for real. Minions are those who obviously spend most of their time with Minho and you just kissed him. He doesn't hate you or something," I told him, but he didn't listen to it. He sighed and rolled with his eyes.

"Jongin is taking stuff like that quite seriously. You could know that since he is your units captain." 

"I don't have many trainings with my unit," I remained him. 

"I know," he said. "That makes everything worse, because you also spend less time with Jongin and it is even harder for me to get close. Whatever. I gotta get ready! It is your fault that you don't know how to live a life, maybe today I will finally get a chance to talk to Jongin without him replying like I am the enemy!" he pulled me after him. 

For about an hour Kyungsoo just walked around and looked for a good outfit and make-up. I gave him advices and my opinions about each thing he put on. At last he was ready for the party, while I stayed in my regular clothes.

"Alright, Baek. See you later, I guess," he said before leaving me alone in the room. For sometime I stayed in my and Kyungsoo's room, but I soon got bored.

I was reading one of my books for some time, but it didn't satisfy me, so I left the room. The hallway was empty and quiet. Probably because everyone went to the party or just fell asleep earlier than usually. I thought of what to do and then decided to go out to the campus' yard. 

It was a nice, warm and clear night. As soon as I came out, I looked up and saw the stars in the sky. The view was beautiful and it made me gasp quietly. The lights from dorms and other rooms didn't bother me since I could still see the stars perfectly.

For a few moments I was standing and looking up, but then my legs became heavy and I decided to lie down on the ground. I didn't care if anyone saw me lying on the ground alone. Everyone was out and will probably come back after hours, so I had a lot of time just for myself. 

I stared at the stars, looking for different constellations and celestial bodies. I tried to name as many as I could. The Polaris, Cassiopeia, Ursa major, Ursa minor, Cepheus, Perseus, Lyra and much more. I loved astronomy since my first day of school. I was most interested only in stars actually, but I still spent a lot of time just studying about astronomy.

"Ey, you there!" someone caled from behind me with straong and strict voice. I had just started enjoying the moment and someone destroyed it. I sat up and looked around to find the person calling me. In the dark night I could only see a bit, but details were hidden in darkness.

The man was walking in my direction and didn't bother about destroying my joy. He was tall and had broad shoulders. He was wearing dark clothes whc looked more or less like regular clothes which he was using for sleeping. I could see him better as he approached closer. 

Of course it was major Park. Who else would be destroyng my precious moments.

"What?!" I asked with annoyed tune and rolled my eyes around.

"Oh, Byun. I didn't know it was you," he said and stopped walking for a moment. He narrowed his eyes to take a better look at me.

"I see. You know, I will probably forgive you for coming here if you leave right now," I said and hoped, he would listen and leave me alone.

"You can't tell me what to do, Byun. I don't care if you forgive me or not. There are much worse things for which you still haven't forgiven me..." he said and started walking again.

"You really have to be here?" I asked even more annoyed.

"Not actually. I saw you through the window. You know you looked like you were completely wasted to death. I thought about making a fast funeral and a nice goodbye!" he said.

"You would just throw me behind a bush, once you knew it was me," I complained, crossed my arms and looked at the ground with mad look.

"Yes, you are right," he replied, but I knew he wasn't serious about it.

"Well, I am not dead, also not drunk. You can go," I told him.

"I don't know if I want to leave," he made me confused.

"Why? You want to stay with me?" I asked and major Park shook his head.

"No I don't want to, but I am here now and I got you all alone. Who knows when I get the same chance," he looked down at the spot next to me, checked if anything was there before sitting down, like he was afraid of bugs and cockroaches. He let out a sigh and made himself comfortable.

"Yah! What do you mean with this. What chance?" I asked and wondered if major was the one drunk and wanted to hurt me once again. I moved to the side to make more distance between us.

"Common calm down. I am not here to screw your life again," he rolled with his eyes. "How is your wrist?" he asked suddenly. He looked at my injured hand and then at my eyes.

"Like you care about it!" I complained with a bit stronger voice. It was night and I didn't want to be too loud, but major's actng made me do it.

"Then I wouldn't be askig about it. Well?" he glared at me.

"It hurts like hell," I whined. 

"It can't be that bad. I think I cleaned it well and took a good care of it," he didn't belive me. It really wasn't that bad, but I didn't like major's presence and decided to fake it.

"You literally ripped my wound appart and you think it's not that bad. You want to see it again?!" I asked and showed my left hand that was covered in bandages.

"Maybe... "

"No, you aren't seeing it. You would just make everything worse," I said. He was making me feel uncomfortable and I wanted him to leave.

"You think so? I am not always that cruel. I showed you that I can fix things, what else do you want?" he was serious about it, but even that he cared about me after he hurt me, didn't change my mind.

"Then why are you like a monster all the time!?" I got mad.

"It's all our problem if you find me like this all the time, even when I am trying to be nice to you," he sghed and leaned back, supporting his body with arms.

"Whatever. You really can't be nice—"

He interputed me before I ended. "—I was already! Don't you find it nice that I at least changed those bandages. I also got you a breakfast breakfast when you couldn't ddo it on your own. I could leave you hungry that day, but decided to spend a lot of my time just looking for the food you could eat! I train you. I help you get better and teach you! Apreciate it!" he rised his voice. 

I thought about it for a moment. "You teach like that. So you hurt me and torture me?" my voice was cracking and became weaker. I didn't like to think of how much pain I had to hold because of him.

"Look, Byun! Maybe I hurt you, but I am sure that taking care of you and patting you like a baby won't help you either. Do you change anything when you lock yourself in that room? Did you fix anything with it? Do you at least do push-ups there inside? There is no point to hide from your life problems like that, because you will have to face them sooner or later. Your problems and struggles will stay the same. You should learn how to accept life and not push it away!" he explained, still leaning on his arms. He looked like he was about to sleep here, but his words still touched me. He was wise and knew how to speak.

"Until now everyone told me to tell what bothers me, but you come and tell me to keep the pain and thoughts deep inside me. You can't know how it is. What does bother you, huh? You never experienced my life and you got no ideas how very hard this is for me!" I felt my eyes tearing, but I wanted to stay strong. If he saw me crying he would probably rip my wound again.

"Byun, you don't know me. You aren't the only one with ed up life!" he cursed. I got confused when he said it. First, I wasn't used on him cursing (even though he was the type of a person, you see and know, that he curses a lot...), second, he didn't look like he had a lot of struggles in his life....

"What do you mean?"

"You think I never experienced pain or depression? To be honest, it wasn't even long ago! Don't think you are the only one suffering here," he looked mad. I thought a bit and then my mind cleared. He was mostly jut serious and didn't smile a lot, he was mad and annoyed all the time... He obviously had problems in his life. I felt stupid to think that he had chilly life....

"And you dealt with it?" I slowly glared at him.

"Yes..." his voice cracked and he thought for a moment. "At least I am not crying over it, like you are!"

"But are you happy this way? There is no way you just accepted everything or even forgot about it," I said and glared at him. I barely saw him in the weak light, but his expression was serious and it was getting hard to red his toughts and feelings.

"Byun, you are making everything complicated," he complained. "I just tell you, you can't live your life like that. You will have to accept the truth and go on. Right now, I feel like you are stuck in your problems. Everyone, Junmyeon, Jongdae is just trying to keep you safe, but you don't move on! I am sure this will give you no good in the future, but I am not telling you to close all your pain inside you! Just try to live a normal life!" he said and then silence feel.

I thought about what he said. I somehow agreed with what he had told me, but I wasn't ready to accept everything. "I-I can't- not yet..." I sighed and lowered my head.

"Yes, you can! However, Byun, I won't stay here for long more. Tomorrow you got trainings. I expect you to come, since you weren't here for a long time now," he said, pushed himself up then stood. "I guess our trainings will have to be a bit different."

"Why?" I looked at him confused. 

"Because your hand is ed up," he answered straight, while running over his clothes to get rid of the dirt from the ground. "It doesn't seem like you can use it very well... Well these hands never were really useful, but it is for sure even worse than normally for your standards..."

"You know speaking to me like that also won't help me much!" I complained. 

"What, should I lie to you?" he whined and passed over his hair. 

"No...." 

"Then don't complain about me being honest with you!" 

I decided not to reply on this. He really was honest which I liked, but it bothered me at the same time. 

"Well, I suggest you going inside if you want to wake up early tomorrow. I want to see you at least a bit alive!" 

I shrugged with my shoulders, still sitting on the ground and looking up at major. "Alright, sir. I will come," I said with confidence.

"Good," he said and then started to walk away. "See you tomorrow then!" his last words came and then he disappeared to the dorms.

I was left alone again. I thought about major Park's words a bit. I wondered what exactly he had experienced in his life, but this wasn't the only thing I wanted to know.

For some time I just stayed there on the ground. I felt hate aginst major rising inside me and an idea bloomed in my mind. I didn't really hate major, but I felt like I had to revenge for what he did. He really did help me a bit, but it was still unfair, that he could hurt me like that and I couldn't do anything back. I got a plan, but for this I needed my phone first. I stood up and ran to my room on the second floor, like I was afraid the idea might disappear in any moment.

I found my phone on the desk. It is was Sunday, so we were allowed to use them. I looked for Kyungsoo's number and called him.

He answered almost immediately. "Baekhyun, you alright?" he sounded serious and worried. I culd hear the music from the party in the background and probably Minseok's screaming.

"Yes, I'm fine. Are you drunk?"

"Why are you asking me that?" 

"Just answer me!" 

"Just a bit, I can walk normally, I know who you are and I understand what you are telling me. Well actually I don't understand.... Do you want to come here?" 

"No," I answered. "Can you just do something before you come back?" I bit my lower lip, nervously.

"Yes, sure. Tell me what you want?" he agreed with doing it.

"Well... would you buy me firecrackers?" I asked directly. Kyungsoo waited a bit.

"Wait wait wait, I think I heard you wrong. The connection might be bad and Minseok is screaming here on my other ear... You want what?" 

"Firecrackers," I repeated myself. 

"What?" 

"You know that things, boys like to fire up and it does a loud 'BOOM' when it explodes. It can cause a lot of damage too," I said.

"Why do you need this?" he asked.

"Doesn't matter. Just buy them, please," I hoped he won't ask more.

"Alright. I will buy them, but you will tell me why you need them when I come back and you will return me money for this!" he sighed.

"Thank you, Soo! I love you!" I said and smiled, even though he can't see my excitment. I was thankful to have that good rommate.

"Yeah, fine. I would do anything to hear that sentence from Jongin, but it is okay with you as well. See you Baek," he said and I could hear a bit of embarrassment in his voice.

"Bye bye~" my last words came. I threw my phone away and then I waited.