"I still really can't believe that I'll be seeing Nemo" tuwang tuwang sabi ko at dinig ko naman yung pagtawa mo. 

Nakangiti lang ako habang nagkukwento. Nasa harap kita ngayon habang nagkakayak tayo at kahit na napakataas ng araw at ang init init parang hindi ako nauubusan ng energy at may lakas pa ko para tulungan ka sa pagsasagwan nito.

Humarap ako sayo dahil gusto kitang makita. Hindi ko alam pero sa tuwing tinitignan kita gumagaan ang lahat kahit na nga dati ang sungit sungit mo sakin. Saka gusto kong magpasalamat sayo. Simula nung kinupkop mo ko never pa ata akong nakapagthank you ng maayos sayo. Actually, hindi ko nga alam kung bakit pumayag kang sumama ako sayo kahit na hindi mo naman ako kilala. Hindi ko rin alam kung bakit ako agad nagtiwala sayo eh hindi naman ako yung tipo ng tao na madaling magtiwala sa ibang tao, pero there's something about you. Ang gaan ng loob ko sayo, yung tipong parang antagal na nating magkakilala and when I am with you, I feel safe. But I really want to know you more. 

Nginitian kita at ganun ka rin naman habang patuloy ka sa pagsasagwan. 

"Why?" tanong mo sakin. 

"Thank you" 

"For what?"

"For everything"

Di ka naman nagsalita, ngumiti ka lang. Itinuon mo ang atensyon mo sa tubig habang nagsasagwan.

"Lisa?" 

Iniangat mo ang ulo mo para tignan ako. 

"Can I asked you something?" 

"Sure, what is it?" nakangiting tanong mo. 

"Why are you living alone?" 

Bigla siyang tumahimik at napansin kong biglang nag iba ang ekspresyon ng mukha niya. Mukha yatang di niya nagustuhan yung tanong ko. Masyado bang personal?

"Ahm...You know you don't have to answer that if you're not comfortable talking about it. I'm sorry" nahihiyang sabi ko sabay tungo. 

Napaka insensitive ko ata sa tanong na yun, nakakahiya sa kanya. Gusto ko na lang tuloy magpalamon sa dagat dahil sa kahihiyan. Naisip ko tumalikod na lang ulit nang bigla niya namang inabot ang baba ko at iniangat ng bahagya para makita niya ang mukha ko. My eyes were close habang iniaangat niya ang baba ko kasi talagang nahihiya ako sa pagiging usyusera ko. Narinig kong tumawa siya ng mahina kaya dahan dahan kong ibinukas ang mga mata ko. Pagbukas pa lang ng mata ko, magandang mukha mo na agad ang nakita ko at unlike kanina, nakangiti ka na ngayon.

"It's okay, Jane" natatawang sabi mo at pout lang ang tanging naisukli ko sayo. 

"Ang cute mo!" sabi mo pa habang pinipisil mo ang mga pisngi ko. 

"I know the meaning of that!" sabi ko sayo

"You do?" 

"Yeah, Leo told me" napangiti ka naman sa sinabi ko. 

Sandali tayong muling namahimik bago ka ulit nagsalita. 

"You were wondering why I am living alone right?" she asked and I nodded in response. 

"It's because I runaway from home" 

Nagulat ako sa sinabi niya. Hindi ko inaasahan na pareho pala kami ng sitwasyon. Halata ko sa mga mata niya na nahihirapan siyang ikwento ito. 

"Lisa... if it's hard for you to d---" napahinto ako ng bigla mong hinawakan ang mga kamay ko at muling ngumiti. 

"It's fine Jane, I'm fine" tumango na lang ulit ako at nakinig. 

"My life that's why I runaway. I grew up that everything is given to me on a silver platter. I can get anything I want in just a snap, except of my parents love. When I was a child, all I want is to make them happy and proud of me that's why I did everything they want but I always ended up being compared with my twin. Me and my twin are way too different coz she's kinder, more talented, most loved by people, and she's very intelligent, that's why she's my parents favorite. While me, all I know is to take good photos. That is the only thing I am better than her. But don't get me wrong coz I am not mad at my sister. I love her and she's my favorite person in the world" 

You smiled at kita ko sa mga mata mo na mahal mo talaga yung kapatid mo. Bahagya kang huminto ngunit nagpatuloy ka rin sa pagkukwento. 

"She's my only supporter at home and the only person who appreciates my photos until Mina came. She's the daughter of our nanny. She once took a vacation in our house and that's the time we became close. We were in highschool when I realized I've been falling in love with her but I couldn't find the confidence to confess to her" natatawang sabi mo saka mo ipinagpatuloy ang pagkukwento. 

"Like my twin, she also appreciates my photos but most importantly she appreciates me. She said that I have a very good eye in photography and I told her that I want to be a photographer someday and she's very supportive but my parent's weren't. My parents always dreamt of us twins to become lawyers someday. Being a lawyer with Babs is fine because that what she truly wants, but I am a different story. Babs convinced me to tell my parents that I don't want to be a lawyer and I did. I told my parents what I want and they were very mad at me. For them, photography is just a hobby and not a profession. They said if I insist what I want, they will stop supporting me financially. I was very mad at them that time because that is the very first time I stood up for what I want. I was very devastated and I have no one to cry to because Babs was not there during that time. She's in US for an exchange student program of our University, but thankfully, Mina was there. I forgot everything for the meantime because of her. Mina never left me during my darkest days until I already found the confidence to tell her that I love her. I confessed to her and we became official when she said yes. I introduced her to my parents and they were never against us. In fact, they like Mina for me which I'm glad. One day, Mina told me she decided to study in our University and she'll be moving in our house so she could be with my nanny, her mom. I was very happy about it because I'll be seeing her more often. I also learned that day that she wants to be a lawyer too like Babs and she already got a full scholarship. Of course, I am so happy for her not until she convinced me to took up law so we could be classmates and always be together. And because I love her so much, I gave up photography. My parents and Mina were very happy but Babs knows I am not but I told her I'll be fine. So, the three of us took law together and graduated together. I swear taking that course was a nightmare but I am thankful that I managed to graduate. Of course, Babs and Mina played a huge part of it. When we graduated, my parents were very happy. They even told me that they are proud of me and I was the happiest when I heard them say that coz I've been waiting for that since forever. But I didn't know that the happiest day in my life, could also be the worst" 

Muli kang huminto and now I saw tears forming in the corner of your eyes and your hands that's holding mine is now even trembling. I got worried about you but you still managed to smile as if you're telling me that you're fine. Pinisil ko ang kamay mo hoping na maibsan nito kahit konti yung bigat dyan sa dibdib mo. Muli kang nagsalita at nakinig naman ako.

"That night after the graduation ceremony, we celebrated along with Mina's mom. I told them I'll just go to the comfort room and when I came back, I heard Mina and my Dad talking. She thanked Mina for convincing me and he said that he's investment to her didn't put to waste. Basically, that night I learned that my Dad was the one who gave her the scholarship in exchange of letting me fall in love with her so she could convince me to took law. They all lied to me except for Babs. She doesn't have any idea about Mina and Dad's deal. Everything about Mina and I was just a show, I thought it was real, but for the nth time, I was again being manipulated by my parents. I was very mad that time coz I got played and I felt betrayed by the love of my life. Because of too much anger I didn't take the bar exam, I runaway from home, and I broke up with Mina though she's trying to explain her side but I didn't let her coz clearly everything about us was a lie. That's why I hate liars and why it is so hard for me to trust someone. When I runaway from home, I sailed and sailed until I found this place and as time goes by, I learned to call this place my home but I only went back to Manila every weekends just for Babs coz she's so clingy and she always misses me"

Natapos kang magkwento at pinilit mong ngumiti pero kita ko pa rin sa mata mo na hanggang ngayon nasasaktan ka pa rin. Kahit na sakin mangyari yun masasaktan din ako. I know how it feels to have a life being manipulated by your parents and it , pero I cannot imagine the pain na naramdaman mo nung binetray ka at pinagsinungalingan nung taong pinagkatiwalaan mo, worst minahal mo. Now Lisa, tell me, pano ko pa magagawang sabihin sayo yung totoo kung alam kong masasaktan den kita dahil nagsinungaling ako sayo. 

Napabalik ako sa realidad nung bigla mong pinisil yung kamay ko. 

"Why do I feel like your more hurt than I am?" tanong mo. 

"I'm sorry. I was just carried away" sabi ko that made her chuckle. 

"Such a baby" pangaasar niya naman.

Iniangat niya ang kamay ko at saka niya iyon hinalikan. Tinignan ko siya sa mata and now I realized kung saan nanggagaling yung lungkot ng mga mata niya sa kabila ng malakas na personalidad na pinapakita niya sa iba. Hindi ko maiwasang magisip, kung gaanon na lang kahirap sa kanya magtiwala bakit siya nagtiwala sakin? 

"I am just wondering are you always like that?" tanong ko sa kanya.

"Like what? Grumpy?" natatawang tanong mo pabalik sakin. 

Umiling naman ako. You're always grumpy yes, pero hindi naman yun yung tanong ko. Alam ko naman you're just acting to be grumpy pero deep inside soft and caring ka rin naman talaga. Ganyan den kasi ako. Siguro kung tatanungin yung mga tao sa palasyo namin kung paano nila ako idedescribe in one word, alam ko sasabihin nila na I'm cold. Defense mechanism ko kasi yun kasi hindi ako yung tipo na agad agad nagoopen up sa ibang tao. Sa estado kasi ng buhay ko bilang prinsesa, lahat gustong maging kaibigan ko pero hindi ko alam kung sino dun yung totoo. Minsan gusto lang nila ako dahil prinsesa ako, minsan gusto lang nila ako dahil ako ang susunod sa trono, pero kapag nakatalikod na ko, hindi na maganda yung mga naririnig ko. Kaya I closed my doors for others but with you kusa kong binuksan yun para makapasok ka sa buhay ko. 

"Do you always help people and let them in to your house? to your life?" seryosong tanong ko sayo. 

"Nope" 

"Then why did you let me in?" 

Sandali kang tumahimik at tila nagiisip ka ng isasagot mo. Huminga ka muna ng malalim bago ka nagsalita. 

"Actually, I don't really know why. Maybe your a sorcerer and you took me under your spell to make me agree" sagot mo naman na may nakakalokong ngiti sa mga labi mo. 

Inirapan naman kita.

"Maybe you just find me beautiful that's why"

Tumawa ka naman bago mo ko sinagot ng, 

"Maybe"

Lately, pansin ko nawiwili ka na sa pangaasar sakin pero sa totoo lang di naman ako naiinis. Mas gusto ko nga yan na hindi ka na masungit. 

"But kidding aside, I don't really know why, but there's something inside me that's urging me to help you especially when I saw your eyes. I saw how sad your eyes is the first time we met and that made me wonder why. I want to know you more Jane, can I?"

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HIRAP PAG MAY TRUST ISSUES NOH???