Diary Entry 10.
Chasing the Wind
What do I say? Where do I start? How do I even start? The memories with you used to be so sacred but now, now I fear that they are slowly eroding me from the inside. Listening to your favourite song, I wonder how the meaning of one song could change so much.
And suddenly the sky is a sizzle…
How to start? Where to start? Do I want to start? I was happy. I think I was happy. I felt like I was at the top of the world, fireworks brightening up my dark dark world.
Make a wish that weighs a tonne…
How did it even happen? What went through my mind when I allowed you in my heart? What went wrong? You felt so right yet so wrong, but I was too weak to temptation. I didn’t care. I was shaking to my core but I didn’t care, not until it was too late and you left me wallowing in my own despair. But I didn’t care because I trusted you, because I cared for you.
There are no handles for you to hold.
And no understanding where it goes.
Without you I became lost yet again. Or maybe, my fall began the day I met you, the day I allowed your smile to creep into my heart. Yet now I no longer have anything to hold onto. Yet now, I alone.
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