I thought that you understood me. I thought you cared for me. I thought that you would stand by me forever. You barged your way through my walls and planted yourself within my personal space. I did not know you, let alone consider you as a potential lover. Something within me told me to act outside of my character and welcome you as you forced you way through my barriers. I thought that you had come to save me, to pick up my broken pieces.

Oh how I regret doing that.

I wish I had strengthened the barriers. I wish I never experienced that exhilarating rush that came from your kiss . I wish you had never approached me. I should have kept the safe distance. I should have stayed within my cocoon. I should not have given in to your tender eyes. I wish I had been stronger, and stopped these useless emotions from developing. I wish I had been crueler. I wish I had never begged for you to come over that night I broke down because I feared being left on my own. I wish I had not let your mere presence affect my life so much.

How could I have been so stupid?

How could I have allowed myself to be so easily influenced?

How could I allow myself to be so weak?