Diary Entry 26.

Chasing the Wind
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Diary Entry 26.

 

 

I am weak. I want to believe that it is better for me to be alone, that it is better off to give up on any idea of love and relationships. And yet, I know that somewhere inside me, I want to find someone. Somewhere inside me, I too am hoping for a happy ending. Somewhere inside me, I want someone to pull me out of this darkness. Why do human beings insist on dreaming? Why can I not just give up already? It is all so frustrating. It is all so scary.

 

I am too flawed to be loved. I am too broken to be loved. I cannot love nor can I be loved. So why can I not give up on the idea altogether? Why does it still linger in my heart, like the smell of tobacco in my hair after a suffocating party?

 

  And then, just as I was ready for the final push to try and lock it all away, he appeared.

 

How?

Why?

What?

How am I able to talk to him so comfortably?

Why do I feel at ease hearing his voice?

What is happening?

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Author's Thoughts
kit_kat_rat
15th September 2020, finished editing!
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Comments

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AiiSoo #1
Chapter 70: Aww. It’s a pity that their sweet moments are only in the last 2 chapters.
This is a good read too. Like all the other stories you’ve written here..! I seriously hope that more people will read your writings.
Daepits #2
God this is such a good fic because I can’t seem to move on from this. I shall reread this fic forever and ever :D thank you for writing such a wonderful story <3
cheonchoni #3
Chapter 70: Your stories are my comfort place •́ ‿ ,•̀
cheonchoni #4
Chapter 70: Your stories are my comfort place •́ ‿ ,•̀
cheonchoni #5
Chapter 36: Eyyy mark, be careful dude.
cheonchoni #6
Chapter 24: I think 'him' is jin. Might be wrong tho
NoraMyFics #7
Chapter 70: When I was suggested to read this story, I thought maybe I'll read it in few days, I certainly didn't expect myself to check it out immediately the next day and especially finish it in one go. It is really incredible and this makes me think of what kind of crap I've been after all this while, all these years, wasting 90% of time reading those many not so good stories just to fill the numb feeling that never goes away. This one is clearly, different one, at least to me. Makes me wonder if I would ever go back to reading those few silly ones I've been reading till now. Thanks for the story, even though this got me into lot of thinking, especially those diary lists, So full of life expressions, the longing, holding on and then realizing, moving forward towards serenity where the hope of living again stood. Simply amazing and wonderful and marvolus. Thank you for the story.
KimHyeJoo #8
Chapter 70: This story need more reader, seriously
This is wonderful!! :))
momoxia #9
Chapter 70: I loveee this story! I like the words and phrases you've chose, and the way you serves the plot, and the most important thing you did well by making the background of this story not-so-westernish (i mean the culture). Im sorry if I'm lacking in describing this :") but the thing is i loveeee this story!! You deserve the stars!
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