Diary Entry 13.

Chasing the Wind
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Diary Entry 13.

 

 

I am weak. So so weak. I knew I would be hurt. I knew I would be heartbroken. I kew I would be in pain. After all that’s how relationships always end: in pain. I knew that I would never be enough for you; and yet I allowed myself to fall to ruin; and yet I allowed myself to be spoilt by those fleeting moments of attention and love.

 

“I love you you know that? You are the only one I can trust.”

 

I felt content hearing those words. I felt satisfied. I felt happy. But it was not enough. It never is enough is it. Love makes us greedy. But I could be greedy. I did not deserve to be greedy. I had no excuse to be greedy.

 

“You always know what to say to make me feel better.

I can always count on you.

Am I a burden?”

 

You were not a burden. You were never be a burden. The moment you stopped coming to me whenever you were in need of someone, was the moment I lost purpose in life. The moment you did not come to me in search for comfort, I became a no one.

 

And yet it was you who pushed me away. I refused to let you distance yourself from me. I had decided to stay. I was here to stay. Even if the stabs in my heart grew harsher, deeper every time you turned your back away from me, I could not abandon you.

 

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kit_kat_rat
15th September 2020, finished editing!

Comments

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AiiSoo #1
Chapter 70: Aww. It’s a pity that their sweet moments are only in the last 2 chapters.
This is a good read too. Like all the other stories you’ve written here..! I seriously hope that more people will read your writings.
Daepits #2
God this is such a good fic because I can’t seem to move on from this. I shall reread this fic forever and ever :D thank you for writing such a wonderful story <3
cheonchoni
#3
Chapter 70: Your stories are my comfort place •́ ‿ ,•̀
cheonchoni
#4
Chapter 70: Your stories are my comfort place •́ ‿ ,•̀
cheonchoni
#5
Chapter 36: Eyyy mark, be careful dude.
cheonchoni
#6
Chapter 24: I think 'him' is jin. Might be wrong tho
NoraMyFics #7
Chapter 70: When I was suggested to read this story, I thought maybe I'll read it in few days, I certainly didn't expect myself to check it out immediately the next day and especially finish it in one go. It is really incredible and this makes me think of what kind of crap I've been after all this while, all these years, wasting 90% of time reading those many not so good stories just to fill the numb feeling that never goes away. This one is clearly, different one, at least to me. Makes me wonder if I would ever go back to reading those few silly ones I've been reading till now. Thanks for the story, even though this got me into lot of thinking, especially those diary lists, So full of life expressions, the longing, holding on and then realizing, moving forward towards serenity where the hope of living again stood. Simply amazing and wonderful and marvolus. Thank you for the story.
KimHyeJoo #8
Chapter 70: This story need more reader, seriously
This is wonderful!! :))
momoxia #9
Chapter 70: I loveee this story! I like the words and phrases you've chose, and the way you serves the plot, and the most important thing you did well by making the background of this story not-so-westernish (i mean the culture). Im sorry if I'm lacking in describing this :") but the thing is i loveeee this story!! You deserve the stars!