Diary Entry 5.
Chasing the Wind
Murakami, Murakami. Great author to read when in need of an escape. Great author to read when seeking for an easy way to travel into another world. But this time, this time you are hitting too close to reality.
Whenever I’m with you, I feel so relaxed. I never feel the gap. You don’t know how precious that is. I don’t want to lose a friendship like ours.
I miss being able to just enter your room and lie on your bed. I miss snuggling into your embrace. Your eyelashes flattering against my cheeks. Us whispering in each other’s ears. I felt free, I felt happy, I felt relaxed. I was me… At least I think I was me… I have not been the real me for so long that, I hardly even know who the real me is anymore… But I liked the me around you. That me was calm, that me was sad, sad but calm. That me had somewhere she belonged… Or so I thought.
A little before four, a little before dawn. The hour when thoughts are deepest.
We forfeited sleep and ripped our hearts open. We welcomed the dark and talked until light creeped through the curtains. We then remained lying in bed, intertwined and tired from the sleepless night. We then remained the rest of the day lying there, being so utterly unproductive. But it was satisfying. I was happy.
It gave me the chance to finally be honest with my
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