Zayaan and I are just laying down in bed. He is a little distant and cold. He is just laying there with the remote flipping through channels while my arms are all over him. I  have my arms wrapped around him while I am laying on my side and he is laying normally. I feel like I am the clingy girlfriend and he is just trying to watch his shows. He finally settles on a show. It's been five years and I can't even remember what the show was about.

I remember when I told him that I did not want to smash he said that it is okay and we can just watch television.

It is not logged into the show, with me wondering why he won't be a little cuddly that he brings his face closer and starts kissing me while touching my body, my , his hands exploring me over my clothes. He gets up, with his knees propped on the bed, and pulls me to the middle, kissing me some more. I love this. This is so hot. I really missed this so much, us being intimate with each other like this.

We are making out and I feel so dominated with him over me and me being in the middle. Then he straightens up a little and starts pulling at his belt. I find it so hot the way he is slowly taking off his belt, ready to take his private part out while I am just laying in between his legs waiting for him to rail me.

He throws the belt to the side and then starts taking off his pants.

He props me up and then starts pulling off my dress so now I am just in my bra and leggings. 

"Take off my shirt," he says. I start ing his shirt. It is interesting that he has to tell me to do it for him. 

I start to feel uncomfortable when he starts pulling at my leggings. I wasn't prepared for this honestly and I told him I didn't wanna smash today. There is a whole rash on my inner thigh. What bad timing to have a whole smashing session in a hotel like this.

He pulls off the leggings while making out with me and then pulls down my underwear. We are both completely now and I feel pretty self conscious. 

He starts on me down there. Then while making out with me he arches me up in a way, spreads my legs open and puts it in. I am surprised because it has only been about a month and a half and even though it is able to go in, it feels like he is breaking me open all over again. It feels like a knife is going inside of me, in and out. And I don't know if my path is shorter than usual or what, but it keeps feeling like it is hitting something like is that my cervix or what.

There are tears in my eyes from the pain.

"What's wrong?" he asks while the tears roll down my face.

"It hurts. I feel like your breaking me open".

"I told you that I would stretch you out and make you big" he says.

He doesn't seem as scared as in the past while he is smashing me. He doesn't seem like he is holding back this time and he seems confident. Even with the pain, he keeps going at it. Where did he get all this confidence and energy from this time?

Then I start feeling paranoid that maybe he has been smashing someone when I wasn't there and has gotten all this confidence from else where. Has he been practicing on someone else? Where else did he get all this energy from to smash me then? To keep going and not stop or slow down.

He seems so determined to stretch me out today.