It’s a Sunday afternoon. We’re in a café by a river. The sun is shining bright. Ripples on the river blink and echo the sun. Scent of freshly brewed coffee is lingering in the air, enriching the sounds of laughter, giggles and sweet whispers surrounding us.

Sitting opposite me, Kyuhyun leans back in his chair and stares at me. “That’s…”

He pauses and lets the silence descend, as if giving me time to prepare for whatever he’s going to say.

I sigh. I know Kyuhyun enough not to expect any comforting words from him. His tongue is sharper than any sword. But there’s nobody else I can talk to.

“That’s what?” I ask; feeling defeated.

“Very cruel. You’re being very cruel Hyuk.” He just reminds me he’s Kyuhyun.

Thanks Kyuhyun… for your honesty!

I tighten my lips. “But I can’t tell him the truth. He cannot move on if he knows…” I trail off and look away.

Kyuhyun takes a sip of his tea, leisurely sets the cup down and finishes the sentence. “That you still love him.”

My heart feels a spark of warmth, as the love inside is woken up. But before I can grasp it it’s quenched by coldness and emptiness and sorrow and pain.

I glance at Kyuhyun and reluctantly nod.

“Do you plan to go back?”

I let out a bitter smile. “And leave Appa behind?”

“Not now. Do you plan to go back one day?” Kyuhyun looks at me, his face serious.

……

I look down at my fingers, which are rubbing against one another. “But when? It’s something I cannot plan. I can’t ask him to wait for me.”

“If that’s the case I can help you.” All of a sudden Kyuhyun comes to sit next to me. Holding a camera at arm’s length with one hand, he wraps his other arm around my shoulders.

Before I can react he leans in and softly whispers beside my ear. “Smile Hyuk!”

Then Kyuhyun presses his cheek against mine and smiles his brightest to the camera.

The next minute Kyuhyun hands me the camera. “Send him this and tell him you now have a new gorgeous boyfriend.”

I stare at him. I frown upon seeing that signature smirk on his face. “You’re my cousin!”

“But I’m gorgeous right?” Kyuhyun raises his eyebrows and smiles wider.

That at least makes me chuckle. Of course Kyuhyun is gorgeous.

We grow up together. Kyuhyun’s mother is my father’s younger sister. Kyuhyun’s father… is giving us a lot of troubles. He’s even giving Kyuhyun and his mother more troubles. His parents have filed for divorce multiple times. Yet they never manage to get it done. When Kyuhyun was still a kid and his parents were declaring wars against each other at home, he would run to our house in tears…

Suddenly Kyuhyun tightens his grip on my shoulder, pulling me closer. My whole body stiffens. My eyes widen when I find him looking at me in a really weird way. What’s worse he raises his other hand and traces my jawline with his index finger. Slowly he comes closer and speaks with a seductive tone, his lips brushing against my ear. “And Hyuk… You know I fall for you… right…?”

……

All sounds around me are drowned. I can only hear my heartbeat…

……

Roughly I push him away, heart pounding. “Stop it! It’s not funny!”

“You’re right.” That signature smirk creeps onto his face again.

Kyuhyun stands up and walks to take his seat opposite, at ease and taking his time. “It’s not funny Hyuk. You’re being very cruel.”

I regard him for some time. His eyes, fixed on mine, refuse to waver a bit. His smirk doesn’t fade. That’s Kyuhyun. Difficult to grasp.

He couldn’t mean it right…?

……

The next morning I visit Appa before going to classes.

Appa is no longer in the intensive care unit but nevertheless still needs to stay in the hospital for some more time. We have arranged the best private ward for him.

I grip the door handle, close my eyes and take a deep breath. When I turn the handle I strive my hardest to widen the smile on my face. “Morning Appa!”

Immediately I go to help Appa when he struggles to sit up, putting more pillows behind his back. Appa looks happy today. Then I am happy as well.

“Hyukkie. How’s everything?”

I nod feverishly. “Everything’s fine. Don’t worry.”

“Even the work in the company? Everybody is listening to you?”

My heart sinks. I turn around to take the documents out of my bag, biting my lip. Before I turn to face Appa again I make sure my face looks as happy as ever. “Of course. Everybody is nice to me.”

I take a chair and sit down. And then I report to Appa what’s happening in the company, how the business is going, what upcoming meetings there will be and what decisions are going to be made…

……

“Sorry!” I apologize to the person I just bumped into.

“I’M VERY SORRY!” Again I crash into someone. I hear curses. The only thing I can do is to apologize. I don’t have time. I’m very late.

Rushing down the stairs I see my driver waiting for me beside the car. I run towards it like an athlete lunging towards the finish line. When I reach it I jump into the back seat at record speed. I speak and pant at the same time. “Please… Company… I’m late… Sorry…”

The driver starts the engine and the car screeches to a formula one race.

I rest my head on the headrest and check the time, which doesn’t help me to calm down at all.

The class has ended late. I would have left in the middle of it if we’re not given a sudden quiz at the end. I messaged the secretary to postpone the meeting but I know perfectly well just how seriously those people take me. If they have started as originally scheduled, the meeting would be ending when I get to the office.

Which turns out to be exactly the case.

When I rush towards the meeting room I see the double door open. Uncle Cho is the first to come out.

“You’re late.” Accusingly he says. Grimly he stares at me.

When my breathing returns to normal I speak. “I’m sorry. But I have asked for postponement.”

Uncle Cho tilts his head and summons that smirk-like grin onto his face. (Seriously just why would the smirk look so much better on Kyuhyun than on his father?) “You think business decisions can wait? But don’t worry. Everyone has agreed to my proposal. You can go back to do your homework.”

Derisive laughs fill the place… Following Uncle Cho people walk pass me and start to leave.

I clench my fists.

……

“I’m here acting on behalf of my father, CEO of the company.” I’m trembling. With all my might I try to keep my voice steady.

The laughs subside.

“And on behalf of my father, I uphold the standard of practice of this company. I am not accepting any decisions made bypassing the CEO. I refuse to execute such decisions. I will not sign any documents, any contracts which form part of such decisions.”

Pin drop silence.

Uncle Cho clears his throat. “Don’t forget you’re late yourself for the meeting Hyukjae. And are you telling me you are not respecting your seniors?”

I turn around and stare into his eyes. “I perfectly respect you Uncle Cho. And everybody here. I’m late and I have asked for postponement. I know it has caused inconvenience and you have my most sincere apologies for that. Nevertheless standard of practice of this company should also be respected. Uncle Cho. If your proposal is the right one to pick, I’m sure you don’t mind presenting it again to get the CEO’s consent?”

I’m drawing upon my last bit of courage inside to fix my gaze on Uncle Cho. I hope people would not hear my heart pounding heavily inside me. Uncle Cho’s face is more than dark. He’s way more than displeased. But I have to continue… for Appa.

“My apologies again for postponing the meeting. Everybody please meet 15 minutes later.” Upon saying that I walk towards my office, Appa’s office, the CEO’s office.

……

Closing the door behind me my knees give way. My back slides down the well-polished wooden door and finally I collapse onto the carpeted floor. My body is still shaking.

I take out my phone and flip through the photo book. Through my tears I see the most lovely eyes gazing at me. The most beautiful angel is smiling at me.

I cover my mouth to smother my sobs. I hug myself tight. I’m wearing his shirt. I imagine I’m hugging him.

Donghae…

How much I wish you’re here?

How much I wish I could hold you in my arms right now?

How much I wish I could feel your warmth? Your closeness?

How much I wish I could smell your scent? Taste your lips?

How much I wish I could touch you? Caress your face? Look into your eyes? And see love flowing out of them?

I miss you…

I love you…

When I’m at my weakest… it haunts me how much I need you…

Donghae… my strength… my angel… my love…

I love you…

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A/N: This chapter is relatively not angsty right? Let's take some angst breaks. What? You actually want to cry again? Stay tuned then. *evil grins*

A/N2: Believe it or not! This chapter is difficult for me. No joke. Maybe bcoz it's not angsty. Anything not angsty proves to be difficult for me!!! Y_Y

A/N3: I am having this problem! I thought I have told you the breakup reason. But it looks like I haven't? I'm telling you again in this chap. Have I told you then? If you don't get it just let me know OK? Just say you don't get it. Hey you over there! Yes YOU!! I know what you have in mind. Don't ever hope that by refusing to get the breakup reason you can change the storyline!!!!