Who is Lee Donghae?

Lee Hyukjae’s lover.

Excuse me? Who is Lee Donghae?

……

A nobody, a hopeless jerk, a stupid wretch who only sees his own scars, who’s blind to how others feel, who’s selfish and self-centered enough to let out his anger and frustration and emotions to the person who has been nothing else but a sincere, loyal and caring friend.

The startled look of Siwon wakes me up. I bite my tongue. “… I’m sorry…”

Siwon immediately shakes his head. “No. No need to apologize Donghae. Really it’s OK.”

And then I’m aware of all the eyes on me. I realize I have just made a fool of myself… on my birthday… the 1^st year I’m in university.

Taking a deep breath I wipe my tears away. The damage is already done. I’m a fool. I’m a jerk. I’m a wretch. I’m blind to others’ feelings. Going forward I just have to be deaf towards the gossips and indifferent to how others look at me.

That shouldn’t be too difficult.

Who’s Lee Donghae? When there’s no Lee Hyukjae?

I sigh, letting out a bitter smile.

“People if you are shocked you don’t have to be anymore. That’s the mini drama Donghae hyung and Siwon hyung prepared for the upcoming audition. And now please be so kind to give me some attention.”

On the other side of the hall, on the stage Henry strikes the strings with his bow, or rather his wand, his sword. There’s actually no need for him to beg for attention. Everyone is enchanted right away. “Storm”, originally by Vanessa Mae, edited, Henrified. Currents of magic coming out of Henry’s violin swirl around the hall, capturing everyone. No one can shift his/her eyes the tiniest bit; for fear that he/she would miss seeing Henry levitate, dance in storm.

Henry you will shine… for sure!

His sword accurately hits that perfect point on the string, breathtakingly sends out the final note which echoes glamorously in the hall, and in everybody’s head.

No applause… People are simply too stunned…

……

Clap Clap Clap…

Siwon is the first to gain his senses back. That wakes everybody up from the spell. People cheer, applause, chant Henry’s name; obviously awed.

Slowly Henry walks over to the mic stand. He smiles innocently as he bows. “Thank You! Thank You!”

……

Gradually the applause subsides. Henry looks at me from the stage. “Donghae hyung. Happy Birthday!”

I’m close to tears as Henry descends from the stage and comes over. When he’s standing right in front of me I can’t help but pull him tightly into a hug. “Thank you… Henry!”

He pats my shoulder. Softly he whispers. “Hyung. Remember you still have us.”

……

A number of people actually come to praise me for my drama performance earlier. Guess I need to thank Henry once more.

Alone on the balcony I look up at the night sky. I know what Siwon is trying to do. I wonder why with that many people occupying every space in the party hall, congratulating me on my birthday, I’m still feeling lonely.

I ask my heart why it just stubbornly clings to the person who ripped it open, abandoned it and broke it beyond repair. Shouldn’t I hate him? Shouldn’t I be angry with him? Shouldn’t I forget about him and move on? Why all the care and love and support I’m receiving from others are simply rejected and bounced back? Why must it be him?

Siwon comes to stand beside me. He puts his arm around my shoulders.

I owe him a sincere apology. Yet turning my head I see him shake his head. “No. Donghae. Don’t say sorry. I know it’s hard for you… coz… you really loved him. And you still do.”

Silent tears trickle down my cheeks. Siwon… Why must you be so kind? Shouldn’t you hate me? Shouldn’t you be angry with me? Shouldn’t you forget about me and move on?

Siwon tightens his grip on my shoulder. “Just allow me to say this Donghae. Just listen to me for once.”

I brush my tears away and nod.

“Pain, hurt, lost, anguish, sorrow, bitterness, torments, distress, affliction… no matter how deep, how unbearable, how suffocating, how overwhelming… as long as you don't give up, as long as you continue fighting… one day it will go away.”

I close my eyes and shake my head. No Siwon. I can’t…

Siwon continues firmly “You can do it. You're stronger than you think you are. Take it one day at a time. One hour at a time. One minute at a time. One second at a time. You can do it. One day you will get over it.”

I stare at him… speechless…

……

Curling in my bed in my dorm, I cannot sleep.

I grab my cellphone and check the time. It’s been 3 months and 7 days and 5 hours and 49 minutes since Hyukjae left.

One day you will get over it.

That’s what Siwon said. Everything’s right what he said. But it just felt so distant. My ears heard him. Yet my heart didn’t listen.

I ask my heart again. Why must it be him?

Simple. My heart calls him master. My soul loyally follows him. All my love, till the very last drop, has been poured out on him. When he left me, my heart, my soul and my love left me as well. Even now that he’s no longer around, I, Lee Donghae, belong to him, and only him.

He’s captured me, each and every single part of me.

That was 3 years ago… on my birthday…

......

“Where is Henry?” I asked Siwon, who shrugged and frowned.

I checked the time. Really I didn’t want to start without Henry but it’s already an hour late! What’s wrong with him?!

The doorbell rang. “FINALLY!!!” Cursing I put on a dark face and summoned into my mind the most (in)appropriate term to address Henry, as I walked over to answer the door.

When the door was opened, I was frozen at the spot. Dark face turned shocked. Words on my tongue melted away. Standing right there was… Lee Hyukjae…

I gulped as I stared at him. My palms got sweaty immediately. And he just chose to make things worse by beaming with that sinfully charming smile. “Happy birthday Donghae.”

With all my might I commanded my mouth and tongue to function. “T… Thank you… P… Please come… in…”

Henry, who was annoyingly smart, chose this moment to slip in. “Donghae hyung! Happy birthday and sorry to be late!”

I closed the door and turned around to find Henry standing beside me. “That’s why I’m late hyung. Surely you wouldn’t blame me?” Playfully he nudged me and winked.

Henry swiftly ran away before I could grab him.

The whole evening I was counting how many butterflies there were in my stomach. My heart was dancing like crazy, causing my pulse to hop irregularly. His natural, nonchalant move; the elegant way he held his glass; the casual way the strands of hair fell on his forehead; the confidence in his aura… Hyukjae was shining so bright I had to shield my eyes from time to time. And I was constantly fidgeting in my seat, rubbing my sweaty palms, trying hard to control my breathing.

As the night deepened people were getting a bit drunk.

And then someone suggested that game of my doom…

“Truth?”

“If you could kiss anyone in this room who would it be?”

“Dare?”

“Just do it!”

The bottle of destiny was swirling on the floor…

“Lee Hyukjae!!”

I felt a pang in my heart…

I was shutting my ears and tracing the patterns on the tiled floor with my eyes… when all of a sudden someone gripped my collar and pulled me up. Before I could comprehend I was thrown onto the couch.

My last vision was his soul capturing eyes. There’s no time for me to react. The next instant his lips were on mine…

And I closed my eyes…

And I was doomed…

I was never a friend of alcohol. And I didn’t touch any that evening. But I was made hopelessly drunk. I felt disoriented, wobbled, dazzled… excited, delighted, thrilled…

As electricity jolted all my nerves and veins, all strength left my body. I could only sit there and remain still, striving not to faint.

His one hand pressed me harder onto the couch. His other hand grabbed my nape to deepen the kiss. It took everything in me to swallow the moan dying to come out.

I was breathless. My cheeks reddened and started to burn… as all my blood cells surged into my head to feel the kiss.

I was melting under him… I was sinking… I was drowning in the kiss…

I was blown away… as the kiss became passionate… as my lips felt his tongue…

My heart rejoiced as it had found its master. My soul exclaimed as it touched its destiny.

To strain all my senses to feel those lips, to register how sweet, how exhilarating, how intoxicating the kiss was, to imprint every touch of him, to submit myself completely, to surrender everything to lengthen the kiss were the only things I knew.

I prayed that time would just freeze right there. I pleaded that the kiss would last forever.

I had forgotten everything… that there were other people in the very same room…

I parted my lips. My tongue came out to greet his. I felt him shiver.

Abruptly he pulled back and ended the kiss. My heart groaned and protested inside.

I opened my eyes and they were like begging. I saw his widened eyes. As we were staring at each other, I knew we both realized something. Something was set off.

And faintly, I caught a glimpse of fluster flicker in his eyes.

……

People gasped.

He gazed at me softly. Gently his hand came to caress my face. His lips again crooked in the most charming way. “If I could kiss anyone in this room, of course, no doubt that would be you Donghae. It’s your birthday.”

Without me noticing I was my lips, tasting the leftover of his scent.

......

That’s how he captured me.

Since then I yearned for his touch, his kiss, his gaze, his scent… From that point onwards, I was his…

……

I roll over and look out the window, locking my fingers together and placing them under my head. I frown. I don’t understand.

That moment wouldn’t lie. Right when the kiss ended the realization was mutual. It’s not a one sided thing. Hyukjae felt what I felt.

And that evening when Hyukjae initiated the breakup, he said he knew it from day 1 our relationship wouldn’t last. Why? What’s that fluster in his eyes at that moment?

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A/N: Oh Henry I LOVE YOU!!!!!!! Henry is just adorable isn't he? I love him so much and I'm NOT going to torture him. ^^ Don't get me wrong. I love Hyuk and Hae and Siwon as well!!!

A/N2: I normally reply to your comments in the story's comment thread. Just this time the site was down and some comments were lost. I cannot reply to all of them!! I hope the site runs forever!!!!! >_<

A/N3: It hasn't yet. But this story is nudging me to deviate fr the original plot!!! Why is this happening to me with all my stories now? Isn't the original plot good? *obviously not good enough the story is saying* *pouts*