We’re in a café, Donghae beside me and Hyukjae opposite us. Even now I can feel the chemistry between them. The way they look at each other… is just different… and special…

Donghae begins. “Hyukkie… I think I owe you an explanation as well…”

Immediately Donghae looks down. I notice his clenched fists; and his lips are firmly pressed together.

On the other hand, Hyukjae concentrates on his strawberry milkshake.

The two of them seem to be enjoying the silence. Nobody speaks for a long while.

In such silence, a thought comes to me. Must we all suffer like this…?

I’m about to excuse myself when all of a sudden Donghae takes my hand. “I’m with Siwon now. I will not leave him.”

I turn to look at Donghae. He looks at me, and forces a smile, before turning to face Hyukjae. His hand holding mine… is shivering…

Right at that instant I’m dazzled… Donghae… my angel… so pure… so beautiful…

When I regain senses again I turn to face Hyukjae. He’s looking at me as well. His face is blank. I don’t know what to make of that expression. Hyukjae shifts to look at Donghae. Click. I feel again… their chemistry…

Some minutes later Hyukjae resumes his concentration on the strawberry milkshake.

I try to comfort Donghae by tightening my grip on his trembling hand.

After some time, Hyukjae speaks, without looking up. “So you love Siwon? Donghae?”

Shivering of Donghae’s hand was originally soothed. That question’s like an electric spark. Donghae’s hand, maybe his whole body, jerks.

Our table’s next to a top-to-bottom glass window. Donghae tilts his head and looks out. Reddish orange twilight casts through the glass and onto Donghae’s hair. My heart skips a beat. My breath’s taken away. The scene renders all paintings worthless. This is a real angel sitting by the window…

“I will not leave him.” Donghae gives his answer.

My heart sinks. Donghae cannot lie. He’s an angel. And Donghae didn’t answer yes. In fact… Donghae has never said he loves me. Never.

And I heard it. Donghae tried to sound firm. Yet those tiny cracks in his voice couldn’t go unnoticed. I sensed them. I’m sure Hyukjae did as well.

Donghae fixes his eyes on the window. Hyukjae sets his strawberry milkshake down on the table, and leans back in his chair, his eyes fixed on Donghae.

Another wave of silence.

Hyukjae’s like reading Donghae. It’s a weird feeling. Yet I can somehow tell… that Hyukjae can indeed read the real answer out of Donghae. Gradually Hyukjae’s expression changes as he comes to terms with the situation.

The situation… Donghae’s too kind-hearted to hurt me and go back to Hyukjae.

Hyukjae shifts to look at me. He smiles an understanding smile. “I know you will treat Donghae well Siwon. Don’t be a fool like me.”

Donghae remains unmoving. Hyukjae takes a deep breath and stands up. “Thank you for letting me know Donghae. Sorry again… for what I’ve done to you. And Donghae… be happy…”

Still… there’s no respond or reaction from Donghae. He just remains sitting there and looking out the window.

“… Goodbye Donghae.” With that Hyukjae leaves.

……

So Hyukjae’s gone. And Donghae’s going to stay with me… Yet I strain to feel… No there’s no joy in my heart… Not even relief…

Tentatively I ask. “Donghae…?” It’s at that moment I realize Donghae’s shaking… Donghae’s sobbing. That’s why he didn’t move or say anything. Donghae’s struggling hard to hold it.

Gently I pat his shoulder. “Come here… and just let it out…”

Slowly Donghae turns. It stabs me so deep like a knife, seeing him so much in pain. I open my arms to embrace Donghae. He leans in. And he can’t control his tears. I keep soothing him with gentle pats on his back. “It’s alright. Just let it out… Let it all out…”

Donghae cries into my chest. I feel his shivers, his pulses, his heartbeats, the tormenting currents rippling through his nerves…

While Donghae lets it all out in my arms, I strive hard to swallow the crushing bitterness in me. I have also come to understand the situation… Donghae’s heart forever belongs to Lee Hyukjae.

Forever.

……

The next morning I open my eyes. The thought pops up in my head again. Must we all suffer like this…?

Sighing I sit up straight on my bed. The blinds are lowered. My room is dark. I take my cellphone on the bedside table to check the time. I frown a bit to shield my eyes.

7:05am. One hour later Hyukjae’s flight will take off.

Should I call him?

Maybe Donghae’s calling him?

Must we all suffer like this?

I get dressed. I hop onto the company van. All the way thinking if I should erase myself from this whole equation.

When I step into my label company, I have made up my mind that I will at least discuss with Donghae, when I see him today. I love Donghae yes. I want to keep him and take care of him yes. But if going forward he’d not be truly happy… Am I being cruel to Donghae then? Must we all suffer like this?

I see Donghae, at the lift lobby. “Morning Donghae.” I walk to stand beside him.

“Morning Siwon.” Donghae turns to greet me. Even though it’s obvious he didn’t sleep well, and that his smile is brief and brittle, it’s enough to make my heart flutter.

The lift doors open and we both enter. This morning we will be doing a photo shoot for our upcoming drama, one both Donghae and I are taking part. I press the 9/F button.

I check the time. 8:45am. So the plane has taken off…

Just as the lift doors close, two men rush in. One quickly presses the 5/F button and repeatedly hits the “close door” button, obviously in a hurry. The other turns to greet us. “Morning Donghae-si. Morning Siwon-si.”

“Morning. In a hurry?” I ask as I can see them shifting from one foot to another, like getting ready to run out of the lift.

“Yes breaking news. A plane just crashed during takeoff”. Immediately I feel a hunch in me. I can even feel blood drain from my face.

5^th floor… the newsroom…

“Do you… maybe… have the flight number?” I cross my fingers and mutter my prayer…

The guy flips through his notes. It’s an agonizing wait. “KE-878…”

I sigh in relief. I see Donghae stagger backwards to steady himself.

“Oh sorry that’s about something else. The flight that crashed was…”

……

It all becomes blank when he breaks the news to us. It’s so surreal… like I’m immersed in water and that I cannot breathe…

It can’t be Hyukjae’s flight. It can’t be. This guy must have made a mistake. He read the number wrong! Or he must have copied down the wrong flight number. It can’t be. It just can’t be!!

IT CAN’T BE!!!

I hear a thud. Donghae has passed out.

“DONGHAE!!!”

“DONGHAE!!! DONGHAE!!!”

--------------------------

A/N: Don't hit me!!!! I was close to tears while re-reading the final lines...

A/N2: This seriously is not the original plot. It just came to me like... dunno!!! Now I'm thinking... what should I do?!! Maybe Hyukkie didn't board the plane?