Krystal's POV

I spent days in the hospital staying up hoping for Jaejoong to wake up any moment. But at the end of the day, I was always left being hopeless looking at him lying there motionless. 

"Soojung...let's go back. Mom and dad are worried too." Jessica came in to tell me.

"No...unnie...I'll stay here...you should leave." I told her my eyes still fixed on Jaejoong.

"I know...I understand how hard this is for you." She tried to persuade me. "But we can't pause our lives just cause his life is paused...we gotta keep living...we don't know when he'll wake up too. And besides they'll let you know when he wakes up."

"Maybe other people's life can go on as always but mine can't...I can't move on when he's just lying there like this. I need to be here when he wakes up." I told her holding back my tears trying to fall.

"Soojung...your unnie is right. You should go back. My son won't want you to just stay like this too." Jaejoong's mom joined in.

I didn't hear her coming in but I guess she was there long enough to hear everything. 

"Please...let me stay.." I told her.

She looked at me with her eyes filled with tears and wiped it away instantly when it fell.

"Okay...but at least you should go eat something." She said. "I'll be here so go have something.." 

I went to the hospital's cafeteria to grab a quick lunch with Jessica. 

"Aren't you busy? You should go back home." I told Jessica.

"How can I leave you here alone?" 

"I'm not a kid unnie. I can take care of myself. Don't worry." 

"Yeah right...how can I not worry when you haven't been sleeping or eating properly for so many days." She remarked. 

We were on our way to the room when we were done eating. I saw doctors and nurses running towards where Jaejoong's room was. I felt something uneasy and my heart started beating so fast as I ran towards the room. 

When I reached, I saw everyone outside except for the doctors and the nurses. Jaejoong's mother was crying her eyes out and his dad was embracing her trying to calm her down. Taeyong was sitting on a chair with his head down. 

I cautiously walked towards them. I was scared to ask them what was going on. I just stood there hoping for the best as I took in deep breaths trying to control myself. 

"Everything will be okay...it has to be." I told myself.

A few minutes later, the doctors cae out and we rushed to them to ask about his condition.

"He went into a shock and we couldn't save him. We tried our best to save him but this isn't the first time he went into a shock and that made it very complicated. I'm sorry." The doctor said and left. 

I could only remember Jaejoong's mother dropping to the floor as she cried her heart out calling out her son's name and Taeyong and his dad with bloodshot eyes trying to remain strong until I completely out.

When I finally woke up and opened my eyes, I hoped everything that happened could just be a nightmare. I just want someone to tell me it was all just a bad nightmare. 

"You're awake?" Jessica came towards me with a bottle of water.

"Want some?" She asked me holding the bottle towards me.

I shook my head and let out a sigh as I looked up trying to keep my tears from falling.

"At times like this...it's better to just cry and let it all out." Jessica told me and patted my back.

"He's not coming back, is he?" I said and my heart ached like it was being crushed. 

"How can he just leave me like this?" I said wiping away my tears that fell with my words.

After staying in the hospital room and calming myself down, I got myself up to go attend the funeral. 

I saw him smiling in his photo to which people where giving their last goodbyes. My heart pained seeing that. He was smiling like all was fine while I felt like my world just crumbled down and won't be able to fix it anymore. 

When the funeral was done, I went back home with Jessica. For days, I locked myself in the room crying my eyes out. My heart felt empty and lost without him and no matter how hard I tried to forget and move on, he was there to stay in my heart and mind. 

After 2 years:

Two years passed by. For about 6 months or so, I had a hard time trying to get up and live my life again. I felt like nothing would matter anymore however I lived. 

But seeing my parents and Jessica getting worried about me, I decided to at least pretend like I was okay. I tried to smile and eat in front of them. But when I was alone, the feelings of having lost him comes back to haunt me everytime and my heart would ache all over again and my tears never dried.

I was on my way back from my schedule when I got a call from an unknown number.

"Hello?" I answered the call.

"Is this Jung Soojung's phone?" Said the voice on the line.

"Yes and you are?"

"Noona...it's me Taeyong."

I haven't really heard from Jaejoong's family since the funeral except for once when his mom invited me for lunch and told me to move on and not hang onto a person who's not in this world anymore. But it's easier said than done.

"Oh...Taeyong...it's been a long time." I told him.

"Noona...there's something I should give you. Can we meet now?" 

I told him to come to a park that was nearby. I went ahead and waited for him there. 

"Noona!" He came towards me with the same smile he always had when he saw me.

"How've you been?" He asked as soon as he sat down on the bench.

"Just trying to live...what about you?"

"Me too." He said with a smile that shows a tint of sadness.

"So what is it that you wanna give me?"

"Here." He said and handed me a diary.

"What's this?" I asked confused.

"I was going through hyung's stuffs a few days ago and I found it. I thought you might want to have it."

"Thank you." I told him holding the diary close to my heart.

When he left afte a while, I opened the diary and read through the pages, some making me smile and some making me tear up.

As I flipped through the pages, I ended up in one where he started to write his feelings for me.

I went to Japan to see Soojung. I needed an excuse to see her. She still has no clue how I keep wanting to see her and how my heart keeps beating so loud whenever I'm with her. I thought maybe I would get over it soon but when I was walking along the path filled with cherry blossoms with her listening to the same song, I realised she's a girl I don't want to lose. 

But she probably is in love with that tall guy and she thinks i'm just some playboy. Maybe i should just forget it? Why does my heart hurt whenever I think of not being by her side? Should I just stay even as a friend? This is the first in my life to regret having led such a carefree life. I should have been better so that I can confidently go up to her and confess my feelings that's probably gonna stay hidden forever.

Flashback.

"Sorry...I'm making you walk in this weather...I just wanted to walk here again with you." He said as he looked ahead.

I looked at him in confusion which made him look at me.

"You don't really remember, do you?" He asked looking at me earnestly waiting for an answer.

-----------------

"So he was talking about this." I told myself when I finally remembered.

"You must have been upset. I didn't even remember this." I said wiping away my tears as I looked at the diary.

"Even if we didn't date for long, Jaejoong, you're the best thing that happened to me. You were always there whenever I need someone to lean on. I can't thank you enough for that and I'm always sorry for not realising my feelings for you sooner." I said as I held the diary close to my heart hoping he would hear me somehow.

"Why did we end up falling for each other?" I said as I looked up the sky tinted with red as the sun sets. "In our next life, let's be together till the end..."