“Jaemin…do you really think Minhyung-hyung will be fine?” Renjun asked the younger as he cleaned one of the two pistols that Taeyong had given him that morning, glancing up from where he was sitting on the bed to the other in front of him. “It’s been a week since his tracker disappeared and we haven’t heard anything from him…”

“Trust him, Renjun,” Jaemin whispered back, leaning forward so much that Renjun could feel his warmth. “Just trust that he will come back.”

“But what if he doesn’t?” Renjun shot back, knowing full well that the other may not return to them. 

“He will, Jun,” Jaemin reassured him, forehead resting on his own as Renjun stared into the younger’s eyes. “We just have to wait.” I want…you…so bad…

Even if its wrong…

Renjun didn’t know what came over him in that one moment but he did know that what he was doing was against the policies of NCT.

It feels completely right…

His breath hitched when he felt Jaemin’s lips come into contact with his own, clumsily letting the gun and cloth in his hand fall to the bedsheet beneath them. Bringing up his hand to let his fingers tangle themselves in the other’s hair, Renjun pressed more as Jaemin’s arms wrapped around his waist delicately - the younger being so gentle that Renjun wasn’t sure when he had last had someone treat him like this. He could tell that both of them were scared, neither dared to open their mouth and settled for attempting to be in sync with one another. Renjun discovered that he had missed being treated like this by the person he was kissing - missed being treated like he was human. Pulling away, he realised the position that they had gotten themselves into through that one simple kiss and blushed heavily. His knees were on either side of the younger’s waist, right hand in the younger’s hair as his left hand was gripping the bedsheets while his left elbow helped him hold himself over the younger. The other’s hands were now on his lower back and beneath his shirt, rubbing calming circles as he stared into clouded eyes. 

“Well that was new.” He heard Jaemin state and scoffed, resisting the urge to slap the younger as he went to move back. Jaemin, however, seemed to not like that idea for he felt the younger’s palms on his back resist his movement just to keep him in place. 

“Of course you would ruin the moment,” He stated in annoyance, heart beating faster when Jaemin smirked up at him.

“We could always make more moments like this, you know.” Turning his head away from the younger, Renjun sighed before moving once more to escape the other’s hold, only to be met with the same resistance as before. “Did you not…like it?” Swallowing thickly and glaring at the other beneath him, Renjun forced himself to nod once. Why the hell are you so nervous now out of all times?!!??! You’re Huang Renjun for heaven’s sake! The youngest negotiator in NCT! You can’t let yourself be nervous because of some dumb boy-

“I’m glad. I liked it too.”

Oh?

“Or maybe that’s just biased since I really like you.”

Oh.

“I’m sorry.” He heard himself state, taking one last moment to look into Jaemin’s eyes before reaching behind him to take the younger’s warm hands off his back. “I’m so sorry, Jaemin. I shouldn’t have done that.”

“Renjun-“ I don’t want to hear it. I disobeyed the policies twice and I don’t plan on disobeying them a third time, Na Jaemin.

“I’m really sorry, Jaemin. You don’t deserve this…or me,” He said monotonously, scurrying out of the room and not even bothering to go back inside to grab his guns that were probably still lying there on the bed. 

I’m sorry, Jaemin…but I can’t you drag you further into the ed up world that I work in…

You’d only end up dead.

~ ~ ~

“So you’re part of a mafia gang.”

“Yes.”

“And you fight. With guns.”

“Yes.”

“And…and your older brother that you never told me about is part of another mafia gang.”

“…yes.”

“And you work with Mark-hyung.”

“Yes.”

“And now Mark-hyung is gone but we can’t do anything about it.”

“You mean I can’t do anything about it. You’re a civilian so you shouldn’t even be here.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?!”

Jeno flinched when the slightly younger male raised his voice. If he wasn’t leaning on the wall of his hotel room while Donghyuck sat on the edge of his bed, Jeno would have probably taken a step back too.

“I couldn’t because then your life would be in danger,” He answered. Standard answer for a standard question. He tried his best to ignore his speeding heart rate when Donghyuck furrowed his eyebrows. 

“Jeno, I…I wouldn’t have cared. You know that,” Donghyuck stated and Jeno found his head nodding against his will. Of course, you wouldn’t have cared whether you were in danger but unfortunately, Lee Donghyuck…I care.
“I would have,” He said softly, glancing at the other who looked at him in confusion. “Cared, that is.”

“Jeno…we’re close friends for a reason! I wouldn’t have done anything to make you worry about me-“

“You would have tried to hunt down the gang I’m in! What do you mean by ‘you wouldn’t do anything to make me worry’?!” Jeno couldn’t help but chuckle softly at the other male who looked like a deer caught in headlights. 

“Okay so maybe I would have tried to see you in action but with good purpose!” Donghyuck protested, earning a sarcastic ‘yeah, right’ from Jeno before gasping. “I’d spy to make sure you were safe, !”

“Sure, you would. Sure,” He drawled, allowing a smile to rest on his face before quickly letting it fall - much to Donghyuck’s disappointment. 

“But that was the first time, you’ve smiled since…well…I came here,” Donghyuck whined, getting up from where he sat on the edge of Jeno’s hotel room’s bed and walking up to where he was leaning against the wall. “Now…smile!” Donghyuck exclaimed as he reached up to pinch Jeno’s cheeks and pull them upwards in a half assed attempt to lighten up the mood between them. “Eh…your smile could use improvements.”

“Can you stop?” He forced out, bringing his own hands up to yank Donghyuck’s wrists down. “My point is that I’m part of a mafia gang with Mark-hyung and now he’s missing. So until he comes back, you’re under my care.”

“You make it sound like I’m some in-patient at a hospital,” Donghyuck stated bitterly, scrunching up his face in disgust. “Can’t a guy get some freedom around here?”

“This is to make sure you don’t die, idiot,” He retorted as Donghyuck hummed before the shorter male sighed.

“Mark-hyung will come back, right?” 

Jeno’s heart twisted in pain at the realisation that Donghyuck was this worried for Mark and that he probably wouldn’t be this upset if Jeno had been missing instead. He couldn’t stop his mind from creating scenarios about the younger and what he would do if Jeno had gone missing instead of Mark…maybe, Donghyuck would be comforted properly by a very awkward Mark…maybe, Donghyuck would be reassured endlessly about his return because Mark believed in everyone and maybe…maybe, Donghyuck would be more comfortable in Mark’s presence rather than his own right now.

Nevertheless, Jeno took a deep breath before shooting the other a small reassuring smile because he knew that Mark would try his best to get back to them and if he didn’t…

…if he didn’t