Taehyung’s sense of hearing was the first thing to come back. He could hear the muffled sounds of sniffling and hushed voices among faint beeping sounds in the distance. Feeling confused and disoriented, he forced himself to open his eyes.

Slowly, the darkness behind his eyelids melted away to reveal bright lights and a blurry array of colours. He had to blink a couple times to clear his vision, his eyes searching for an explanation for the sharp ache in his chest and the grogginess that blocked his mind from thinking properly.

The first thing he noticed was the oxygen mask attached to his face, his breath fogging up the plastic with each exhale. His eyes travelled lower to his chest where large, pale dressings covered it entirely. Then, he saw Chaeyoung sitting on a chair at the foot of the bed with her hand clutching his and her head resting beside it while she slept. A slow smile spread across his lips at the sight of her messy hair that was half sprawled on the bed and half covering her face.

Slowly, the memories started to come back as he regained consciousness. The mission, the hard drive, Hoseok and Yoongi’s betrayal, the gunshot. Like a storm, the images flooded his mind and caused the dull pain at the base of it to intensify. He tried to get up, but his body felt like heavy lead that he physically could not move no matter how hard he tried. His throat burned with dryness and his lips felt cracked beneath the oxygen mask.

As if sensing his discomfort, Chaeyoung began to stir – lifting her head and shaking the sleepiness away. Her eyes slowly opened to focus on Taehyung’s. She just stared at him blankly for a minute, as if not believing he was actually awake, before her eyes widened in realization and she smiled brightly at him.

“You’re awake!” she exclaimed excitedly and squeezed his hand before shifting her gaze to the monitor he was hooked up to, “I think the anesthetic is still in your system, so you probably can’t move for a while. But we can take the oxygen off since you’re breathing well on your own now.”

He smiled as she took the mask off and offered him some water, which he happily accepted.

When his throat felt hydrated enough to form words, he finally spoke, “how long have I been out?”

“The surgery took about 9 hours and you’ve been in recovery for 3, so 12 hours in total,” Chaeyoung replied, sitting on the edge of his bed.

“What happened to the disc?” he asked, his voice still hoarse.

“Jennie and Jimin took care of it,” she smiled at him reassuringly.

“And Yoongi?” he asked, a stab of pain, anger, and sadness beginning to form in his chest.

She sighed, her face empathetic, “we took care of him too.”

Taehyung nodded, a mixture of emotions coursing through him as he thought about the years of memories he’d built with Yoongi as part of their team. Even though he betrayed them and was willing to kill all of them to fulfill his personal agenda, a part of Taehyung couldn’t help feeling sorry for him. It wasn’t his fault that life had dealt him a deck of tragic cards and Taehyung truly believed that there was at least some shred of good in him despite his choices. The Griffins were a family and whether Yoongi ever believed in that fact or not didn’t change the fond memories Taehyung still had of him.

While Taehyung was lost in his trance of thoughts, it seemed Chaeyoung’s mood also changed, “Taehyung, how could you be so stupid?”

He blinked at her in confusion as he watched her eyes fill with tears.

“How could you jump in front of a bullet so easily?” she smacked his arm.

He smiled and tried to grab her hand but she pulled away, glaring at him.

“Do you have any idea how scared I was? Do you have any idea how long and torturous these past 12 hours have been for us? Thank God you’re alive because we would’ve all died with you if you weren’t.”

“I’m sorry,” he said genuinely, pulling her in the only form of hug possible in his circumstance as she continued crying.

After a few minutes, she lifted her head and held both his hands, gazing into his eyes sadly, “Tae, you can’t keep living like this.”

He furrowed his brows, searching her eyes with a foreboding feeling forming in his gut, “like what?”

“So recklessly, so dangerously… so devoted to the Park family,” her voice cracked as she blinked back tears, “you’ve lived the majority of your life doing whatever my dad or Jimin asked of you. Before you had a chance to decide what you wanted to be on your own, the decision was made for you. Before you could mourn the loss of your family, you were forced into a new one. It was never your decision to become part of the Griffins and I know deep down, you hated every part of it, because it wasn’t you. And yet, you faithfully did everything to protect our family – to protect me – but you forgot to protect yourself in the process. You set fire to the world around you, but you never let a flame touch me. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate and value you, Tae. You are the most precious person to me.”

By this point, tears were freely streaming down her face and she was gripping his hands so tightly that his fingers were beginning to pale. He wanted to hold her and tell her things would be okay, but for once, he wasn’t sure if they would be. Deep down, he understood what she was trying to say, but he waited patiently for her to divulge all her feelings herself – to get it off her chest.

“You jumped in front of Jimin. You took a bullet for him like you valued his life more than your own and I know you did it purely out of love, but I can’t watch you sacrifice yourself for others – especially not my family – any more. Every time something happens to you; whether it’s dislocating an elbow, another nightmare, or being shot, my heart shatters into a thousand pieces,” her chest began shaking as she took a deep breath and Taehyung had to tilt his head up to prevent his own tears from falling.

“For the past 12 hours, I’ve been going around and around in my head, trying to figure out what I want. A