Soft rain continues to dripple down the mass of greyish dark clouds prevailing almost three days in a row by now.

Baekhyun pulls his hoodie even further over his head, walking down the road aimlessly.

His mind was blank, matching the expression in his eyes as he takes a turn at the crossroad before him.

He has no clue where the road is leading him but he walks on nevertheless.

Just an hour ago, he had made his way up to Taeyeons house to pay her a surprise visit, her favorite chocolate in one hand, a CD of her favorite band in the other.

It had been 5 month to the day that they had been dating and Baekhyun was eager to see her pretty face lighting up at the sight of him, her honey-dripping voice calling out his name in bubbly happieness.

As he got there, Baekhyun rang the bell a few times but no one was answering.

Strange, he thought to himself, as Taeyeon clearly messaged him, she was at home and hadn't had any plans on going out with the weather being so dark and gloomy.

As he didn't plan on staying outside in the rain any longer, he reached down behind the huge flowerpot infront of the door, unlocking the door quickly.

„Hello?“, he shouted a few times, but still no answer.

Things got even weirder as he spotted Taeyeons shoes neatly put on the rack behind the door, together with some worn out, white sneakers.

His gut already begun to cause turmoil, flashing unwanted images into his mind in a split-second.

Still he took a few deep breaths, calming the upcoming tremble that took hold of his upper body and causing his knees to go weaker by the second.

„It's nothing to worry about“, he mumbles to himself but his body thought otherwise, only taking hesitat, reluctant steps towards the stairs, leading up to her room.

By now he couldn't shake off the nauseous feeling slowly making it's way up to Baekhyuns throat where it rests with a bitter taste of suspense.

With legs as heavy as lead he draged his way upstairs to finally stand infront of Taeyeons door, already expecting the worst.

The slight tremble in his body eventually developed into a full-fledged anxiety, shaking every muscle of his body with slight panic.

His breath became shallow and fast, merely taking in enough oxygene to keep him straight up on his legs.

With a heartbeat as fast as the electronic music inside, he slowly takes a light, hesistant grip on the doorknob.

For a moment, he thought about turning around and just leaving as things were. Something inside told him that what he was gonna see would change things forever and he just didn't want that. His mind couldn't bear the thought of Taeyeon leaving him.

Still his curiosity took over and he slowly opened the door, stepping inside the dim room greeted by loud music and the scent of weed.

As he finally mustered up the courage to take a look he stared right into frightened, widely opened eyes.

„B-Baekki, what the hell are you doing here??“, Taeyeon quickly rushed off the bed, covering herself with the blanket.

Baekhyuns heart dropped to the ground as he spotted Taeyeons ex between the sheets, grinning a sly, malicious grin at him, not even making any effort to cover his private parts.

„ … I could ask the same“, Baekhyun finally spoke up, as calm as possible but with the huge tremble still evident in his voice.

The nauseous feeling from before almost made him throw up as he slowly grasped what was going on here.

„Our 5^th anniversary, really Tae?“

With a disgusted look on his face, Baekhyun tried hard to fight back the tears, forming in the corners of his eyes.

Sadness, anger and disgust mixed up into an explosive combo that was ready to blow up any minute.

Still he tried to keep his cool, throwing the gifts he brought directly infront of Taeyeons feet, spitting on them spitefully.

„Don't ever think about crawling back to me after ing this wimp. I'm done with you!“

Without giving the scene another look Baekhyun rushed out of the room, faintly hearing the cries of Taeyeon to come back and talk about everything but he ignored it, continuing to run away from her house and the shocking images he'd just seen.

And now the damp street leads the way towards the city center, already illuminated by the street lights around.

With a sigh he quickly seeks shelter under the small roof of a cafe as the rain suddenly increases, pouring down hard and mercilessly until Baekhyun is wet to the bone.

Freezing and crying, he crouches under the small part of fabric, leaning against the well lit window. Every part of every living existence now seems to be up against him. Baekhyun feels terrible.

Exhausted from all the crying on his way up to this cafe, deeply hurt by what Taeyeon had done, confused why all this happened and boiling angry that all this had happend on their fifth anniversary.

The day just had to get worse.

„Baek?“, a more than familiar voice softly called out to him, touching his shoulder feathery light.

He feels the person crouch down besides him, watching him in silence for a while.

„You're here to make my day even worse aren't you?“, Baekhyun mumbles out, unable to hiss with the lack of energy he has right now.

Out of the corner of his eyes he senses Chanyeol shaking his head.

„It's a mere coincidence meeting you here. Maybe care telling me what happened to you? Why are you crying?“

With all the energy he has left, Baekyun shoots him a menacing glare. „As if I'd tell someone like you. Get lost!“

But Chanyeol remains persistent.

„Ok then at least let me treat you for some coffee. You look like you're freezing to death right now. Come on“, Chanyeol gets up, offering Baekhyun a hand.

The latter hesitates.

Sure he hates the thought him sitting at the same table as Chanyeol but on the other hand, a hot coffee seems more than tempting after the full hour of wandering around in the cold evening air plus being soaked.

After all, he feels more than lonely right now, abandoned and weak. Chanyeol wouldn't change that, probably make things even worse but he had too little energy left to care.

With clear resistance, he takes the hand, getting up and inside the cosy cafe.

„One coffee, not more not less.“

Chanyeol raises his hands defensively. „Pinky-promised. One coffee to blow some life back into you.“

As Chanyeol places orders, Baekhyun flops down on a comfortable sofa near the windows leaning back against it with his eyes closed.

After what seemed like an hour, he hears the chinking of porcellain against the table, immediately waking him up from daydreaming.

As he takes a look down on the table, he spots a huge cup of hot vanilla latte with extra whipped cream on top and a bit of cinnamon sprinkled upon it. Besided he notices a small plate with his favorite cookies carefully draped upon.

„I don't know if you remember but you used to tell me how much you loved vanilla latte with extra cream upon. I thought this'd perhaps lighten the mood a bit.“

Despite hating Chanyeol, Baekhyun has to admit that he is pleasantly surprised with Chanyeols kind gesture. Honestly he'd never expected him to be this attentive.

„Yeah sure, don't get to full on it, it's just coffee after all“, Baekhyun grunts, taking a sip, almost widening his eyes as he tastes the flavor of hazlenut inside the vanilla latte.

He might not have told Chanyeol his favorite added flavor along his fav drink as well hadn't he?

He tries to shake it off as a mere coincidence but couldn't help the warm, fuzzy feeling of the warm coffee spreading in his insides like a small hot-water bag.

Chanyeol himself prefers to nip on a simple, black coffee as he watches Baekhyun carefully munching on one of the cookies.

„Now care to tell me what happened?“ Chanyeols unfamiliarily soft voice jolts Baekhyun back from deep thoughts.

He frowns at Chanyeol. Him being understanding and kind all of the sudden just doesn't seem to fit him.

Is this all just a sick game to finally get him between the sheets or for the better inside the cafe's toilet?

Baekhyun refuses to even think about it after everything that happened by now.

He just feels so lonely and hurt, everything inside him just wants to tighten with agonizing pain.

„I wanna die“, slips past his lips without him wanting it.

A mere whisper but Chanyeol understands it perfectly well.

A sympathetic frown covers his forehead as he watches Baekhyun clearly trying to fight back his tears.

Something inside him feels like dying as well as he suddenly feels like crying along with him. He just couldn't watch this little, innocent angel in such pain any longer without being able to do something.

He just couldn't bear the sight of his huge, brown, hurt eyes filling up with tears he hastily blinks away, his lips tightening into a thin line everytime another sob tries to make it's way out.

Everything about him just looks so pityful that Chanyeol damned hell on everyone that caused this kind, loving kid such a huge amount of pain.

„Why?“, it comes out as a soft whisper, one hand slowly and carefully reaching to tap the tips of Baekhyun's.

„What on earth did I do wrong?“, Baekhyun breathes out with a raspy voice, already strained from tears.

With incredible caution, Chanyeol wraps Baekhyuns hand in his own, gently rubbing his thumb over the back of it.

„Why is everyone leaving me all of the sudden?“

Baekhyuns words cause a painful flashback to appear before Chanyeols eyes.

Tears well up his eyes as he remembers the tiny figure standing infront of the dull gravestone, the chilly autumwind whirling around the fallen leaves that occasionally landed on the freshly prepared soil and flowers upon it.

„You promised you'll never leave me“ he hears the voice of his younger self echo inside his mind as he breaks down infront of the grave crying.

„You promised to always stay with me!“

A single tear dissolves from the pool forming inside the corner of his eyes, running down his trembling cheek.

„Nothing“, he whispers with a caring voice, rubbing along Baekhyuns hand a little firmer, „you did nothing wrong.“

Baekhyuns face suddenly shoots up, tearstained and red, staring straight into Chanyeols eyes with what seems to be spite.

„Then why did you drop me all of the sudden huh?! Then why did my girlfriend cheat on me on our fifth anniversary with her ex?! Tell me!“ He pulls his hand out of Chanyeols grip, his eyes glinting with rage as he speaks.

„What.on earth.is wrong.with.me?? Huh??“

Chanyeol looks down, not able to hold Baekhyuns intense gaze.

He wants to say something, explain why he was afraid of Baekhyun and his affection but the words just wouldn't leave his mouth.

After what seemed like an eternity, Baekhyun jumps up from his seat. „Fine, this turned out just as I expected. In the end it's always the same with you. I put in hope and feel even worse that before afterwards. Thanks for the coffee but I'll head home now.“

Just as Baekhyun is about to leave, Chanyeol grabs his wrist, holding him back.

As Baekhyun turns around astonished he looks into Chanyeols eyes which are full of tears streaming down his face.

„Wait“, he breathes out with a trembling voice, his breath merely a stutter from the sobs shaking his upper body.

„Please … I … wanna show you something. Don't leave, please.“ He gets up, heading outside.

Baekhyun, still completely flabbegasted by the scene dispalying before his eyes hesitantly follows. Why on earth is Chanyeol crying after all?! It's supposed to be Baekhyun feeling terrible right now.

What had happened that Chanyeol couldn't hold the tears back from streaming down his face?

He just has to find out.

With quick steps, he catches up to Chanyeol who's heading towards the street Baekhyun came from.

As far as Baekhyun knows it leads away from the center into the more secluded areas with lots of homesteads and generous properties.

On their whole way neither of them sais a word. Both just walk side by side in silence until Chanyeol stops at a huge entrance of a graveyard.

Baekhyun frowns deeply.

A graveyard? What's that all about out of the sudden?

His heartbeat doubles in anticipation as both enter the dimly lit area silently.

Chanyeol directly heads to a single gravestone, generously covered in flowers and a huge plushbear. Baekhyuns insides suddenly feel numb as he gets a faint notion of what Chanyeol is about to tell him.

His breath shallows unconciously as he nears the stone with small steps.

Reaching the front of it, Chanyeol wordlessly points at the gravestone.

Despite really not wanting to learn it's inscription he forces his head to look at the letters.

He recognizes the family name Park, together with a boys name, 'Chen'.

His look travels further down the line of his age and he loses his breath for a moment.

„Ten years?“, he whispers out incredulously, a slight tremble creeping up his legs, further up his whole body.

Chanyeol nods silently, tears still staining his face as he watches the grave absentmindedly.

It takes him a while to find the right words to say.

„My little Chen … He promised to never leave my side.“ Chanyeol lowers his head, small sobs shaking his whole upper body. „And in the end he still did.“

Baekhyun barely dares to ask how this cruel incident could happen.

He watches Chanyeol with sorrow in his eyes, not able to speak a word facing the gloomy scene infront of him.

„You don't have a damn clue how cruel it is to lose your twin. He was so young, just like me. We did everything together, had everything planned out. How could this happen? …“

Baekhyuns blood seems to freeze. „Y-Your … twin?“, he manages to stutter, eyes staring at Chanyeol in disbelief. Everything that had happened right now just seems to become more and more surreal by the second and Baekhyun could do nothing but stare at Chanyeol, frozen in shock and horror.

„Yeah, my twin brother“, Chanyeol confirms, adjusting the bear with loving movements.

„Chen protected me“, he begins to narrate with a sad smile on his tearstained face, „I was such a weak and helpless kid. I felt like I could do nothing on my own. Other kids picked on me as long as I could think but Chen was always there to protect me and keep me safe. He was such a beautiful being. Kind, loving and so passionate about what he loved.“

His gaze slowly turns to face Baekhyun, who simply returns it with watering eyes.

„You know … sometimes when I see you … it's like his incredible personality took hold of another person.“ He fixes Baekhyun with unwavering eyes. „You.“

A sharp inhale is audible as Baekhyun hears Chanyeols words, desperately trying to fight back the tears and cramps of sobs tugging on his insides.

„He saved me countless times but just when he was about to be gone, I could do nothing“, his sobs got louder and louder, „nothing. He just died right in my arms. Why him of all people? Why had this life to be taken away from him, not me? I was the weak one, the black sheep. I could do nothing right. I was nothing without him. Why him?“

As Chanyeol speaks, he starts to sob uncontrollably, crying his eyes out infront of the grave.

„The disease wasn't meant for him but for me. The last breath he took was not meant to be his' but mine as I held him tight.“

Baekhyun feels hot tears streaming down his face as he watches Chanyeol, listening to his stuttered words.

„He promised to never leave me …“, Chanyeol manages to utter out among the vigorous sobs shaking him.

As he cries uncontrollably, Baekhyun takes a step towards Chanyeol, taking his hand and holding it tight. There was nothing he could say right now to help ease off the pain, neither Chanyeols nor his'. He just stands there silently, holding Chanyeols hands as tight as he could as both face the grave infront of them.

„I'm so sorry I treated you the way I did“, Chanyeol speaks up after what seems like an eternity of silent sobbing, squeezing Baekhyuns hand back assuringly, „I was deadly terrified when I met you. You resemble him in so many ways. You're the kindest person I know and fiercly passionate about what you love most.“

He lowers his head in guilt. „As I saw you practising back then it hit me like a thunderstruck. I saw that pure, innocent passion emitting from you and I knew right away that I fell for you harder than I'd ever imagined. But everytime I looked at you, I was afraid of losing you like I lost him. I'm so sorry Baek. It's something I can never make up. I just caused way too much damage on the run and I accept if you never want to talk to me again. But I just wanted to be honest with you for once and for real.“

Listening to Chanyeol, it slowly dawned on Baekhyun as why he acted so selfish and hurting around Baekhyun. Every action had just been a desperate try of protection from something his heart still just couldn't deal with.

It didn't make his actions any less painful and traumatizing but Baekhyun slowly catches why Chanyeol is the way he is.

Still he is not sure if he could be the one person changing him for the better, staying the one once he had been healed.

A slight rush of panic pulsates through Baekhyuns veins and admittedly never had he wished for a shot of strong Vodka more than now to calm his nerves.

„I … really don't know what to say Chanyeol“, Baekhyun whispers with his eyes glued to the ground, his hand still holding Chanyeols tight.

„I'm more than thankful for your honesty, really. But I don't know what to make of all this. It's just … this story is just so …“ The assuring squeeze on his hand signals Baekhyun that the latter understands perfectly well.

„I know how you feel. It's ok if you don't answer right now. Just … just don't forget me … please.“

Chanyeols words already start to cause a lump in Baekhyuns throat again.

How could he ever forget about someone that had such a deep impact on his life, despite that being a mostly negative one?

„Let's head somewhere else, I can't take this sight anymore“, Chanyeol whispers, the teddy one last time before taking a few steps away, heading towards the exit.

Baekhyun takes one last look before he follows Chanyeol, their fingers still interlaced.

Both continue to stroll down the illuminated city in comfortable silence, occasionally taking a look at one another when the other isn't watching.

Suddenly Baekhyun comes up with an unconventional suggestion.

„Come on, let's not end this evening on bad terms. Let's head to your favorite bar and we'll toast your brother with every drink we have. You gotta tell me everything about him. What you were like being children, your funniest stories, your worst punishment, just everything. I'll treat you.“

Chanyeol stops for a moment, arching a surprised eyebrow at the younger. „Are you serious?“

„Well of course I am, otherwise I wouldn't suggest treating someone. Come on.“

That's definetly something Chanyeol had not expected to happen. After all, he could slowly feel the rough tension and agony from before being eased bit by bit.

This kid surely was something special.

Boing, this was seriously sooo hard to write I couldn't stop crying when typing this literally .__. 

I guess I've passed the point where you slowly get attached to your characters (I guess that's unhealthy?)

Nevertheless I hope this sheds some light into Chanyeol and his behaviour for now, there'll be more for sure ;)

I hope you had a great week and a peaceful weekend <3 

And as always, leave a comment, lemme know what you think and subscribe if you haven't already :)

On a side note: Big shoutout to hazecraze for always commenting, your comments really make my day gurl ;) and kaiheavenbutt (wicked name btw ;D) for being such a sweetheart and even gifting karma points *-* Thanks so much for being so incredible ;D

Rock on folks

Love you ;*