Jae-Yeong closed his phone and sighed.

Ha-Jin wasn’t answering her phone. It had only been a week since they last saw each other, but for him, it felt like years already. He knew it was partly his fault, being so busy and caught up with the company, his biological mother, and all that. He failed to call her or even send her a message. Jae-Yeong couldn’t blame her if this was some sort of payback.

It was one of the rare moments he had time for himself.  Il-Sung and Tae-Won suggested that he take the time off for now. They knew that he already had a lot on his plate: Kang Shin-Jae was still insisting on the wedding and their father was also for it.

His younger brothers understood that he needed some time-out.

Jae-Yeong took off his shirt and threw it on his bed in frustration. It was cold in his apartment, but he didn’t care. He just wanted to shut the world away.

A lot of things didn’t make sense right now.

The other day, he asked Ji-Hyun about it. Even the presenter, who was a big believer in second lives, could not understand why everything happened. But he was still firm with his belief – that Jae-Yeong’s second chance was meant for something.

It was up to him to find out.

Living two lifetimes already, however, stressed him out.

Jae-Yeong heaved a long sigh as he stared at the city skyline from his apartment. The lights looked so beautiful from where he stood. If it were a normal night, he’d probably be out with Ha-Jin, dragging her for a drink or just a quiet walk. He could’ve been playing a game of tennis with Tae-Won and probably Il-Sung.

He could’ve dropped by the cafe to see Ji-Woo, his half-brother.

But this was no ordinary night. It had been long since he experienced some peace of mind. What he’d give to finally experience calms and enough of storms.

The doorbell rang.

Who could that be?

He ran a hand through his messy flock of hair, sighing again. He was already eager to grab himself a can of beer and just drink himself silly. But a visitor had to ruin the night. With another exhausted sigh, he opened the door.

There stood Ha-Jin, devoid of all expression.

“Ha-Jinah,” he said.

He hadn’t mentioned that name in weeks and it felt so good not just to say it, but to actually see the owner of the name. She looked up at him.

“Can I come in?” she asked.

“Of course.”

There was something different about her, Jae-Yeong noticed. He didn’t know if she was tired, but she was certainly lacking that joyful spring in her step. In their relationship, she was always the life and soul while he was the doom and gloom (in both lifetimes). So, seeing her dead in the eyes and serious made him wonder.

“Jae-Yeongah, I—“

Before she could even speak, he wrapped his arms around her in a tight embrace. He took in the scent of her hair.

“I missed you,” he told her.

He tightened his hold on her, feeling her tiny frame. It was miracle she didn’t break at his tight hold.

As he held her in his arms, he felt that there was something off. She didn’t reciprocate his affection, choosing to remain stiff.  Usually, Ha-Jin would wrap her arms around him too; if she wasn’t up for it, she’d jokingly pull away.

Tonight was definitely different.

He pulled away from her and held her by the shoulders, looking at her face well. Her eyes were dead and expressionless. She couldn’t even look at him.

“Ha-Jinah?” he asked, “What’s wrong?”

When she finally stared at him in the eye, he saw that hers were bloodshot – as if she had spent the past hour crying or she might have overslept. Either way, she did not look her usual cheerful self.

“There’s...something you should know.”

“What’s that?”

She took a deep breath.

“I think...we have to end this.”

She couldn’t express in words the real pain she felt right now. If she was going to be honest, she’d hope someone would just run a sword through her and pull it out. But she did not dare break down in front of him; she knew that if she started crying, she might take back what she said.

They started this meeting in each other’s arms; now they sat opposite to each other.

It had been fifteen minutes since she told him. She wanted to stop explaining, but she had to answer him when he asked, “Why?”

“...and I...don’t want you to be the cause of your company’s downfall,” she was saying, “I know that plenty of lives depend on you right now. I don’t want to be that one person who...indirectly causes their suffering.”

He hasn’t said anything since she started. Instead, he was just looking at her with such disbelief and pain. Seeing that look in his eyes made her heart ache, but she had to press on. It took her days before she came up with this decision.

She couldn’t falter.

“You have a heavy responsibility to carry, Jae-Yeong,” she said, “I don’t want to burden you anymore. I want you to do...what is right.”

His head shot up when she said those words.

“So what we’re doing...it’s no longer right?” he asked her, “Us meeting again in this life...it’s wrong?”

He stood up.

“You regaining your memories, meeting me, and eventually making me remember – that was a mistake?” he continued, “Are we not doing everything right? Since when has loving someone ever been wrong?”

“When it hurts others, it becomes wrong.”

She stood up with an equal indignant attitude.

“Ha-Jinah...this noble idiocy thing, it’s got to stop,” he told her, “Don’t you think we’ve done it enough before?”

He had a point, she admitted, but it wasn’t enough. Jae-Yeong advanced towards her, his eyes flashing.

“There are just...so many wrongs, Jae-Yeong,” she said, “Yes, there’s a reason things happened, but aren’t we supposed to correct the wrongs while we still can?”

“So giving you up is making it right?”

She didn’t say anything.

“Giving you up twice is enough, Ha-Jinah. I cannot lose you again in this lifetime,” he said, “Don’t you know what I had to go through when you died? Don’t you know the pain I had to endure? How I felt so alone in that palace?”

She was stumped with this confession. This was the first time she heard the aftermath of her life as Hae Soo.

“I lived the rest of my days regretting the decision to send you away. I was alive, but I was barely breathing. I had plenty of subjects, but I did not love,” he continued, “I forgot how to live when you died. And now, you’re asking me to send you away again?”

“Jae-Yeongah...it’s not that.”

“It is that. You want to end this...us,” he argued, “You want me to waste this second chance by saying goodbye to you.”

He was close to crying, but Ha-Jin knew he tried his best not to shed tears as well. That was how he tried to prove his point.

“I don’t think that’s the point of our second chance.”

She said it so boldly, even thought she refused to believe it. Jae-Yeong, on the other hand, was surprised.

“What do you mean?”

Ha-Jin bit her lip. She spent the past days thinking about her decision, mulling over the why’s in her mind. She only came to this conclusion 24 hours ago and it pained her like hell. Unfortunately, she knew he had to know.

“Maybe our second chance at life...isn’t about us, Jae-Yeongah,” she told him.

“That’s crazy.”

“Thinking that’s just about is crazier,” she argued, “Jae-Yeongah, there’s so much about our previous lives than just us. I know that we were a big part of each other’s lives, but I don’t think that’s the point anymore.”

“Then what is?”

He was mere inches away from her, his eyes already flashing in fiery, sadness or pain. She couldn’t tell anymore.

“I don’t know, Jae-Yeongah,” she admitted, “I don’t know. But I’m not sure our definition of second chances is what was ordained by fate. I’ve thought about it the past few days; maybe, this isn’t what life wants for us after all.”

“Maybe...it never was.”

She couldn’t stop that tear rolling down her cheek anymore.

“Then why are we in each other’s lives?”

His questions were quick; she almost couldn’t answer.

“Tell me that, Ha-Jinah,” he dared her, “Tell me why you’re here; out of all the people out there, why did I have to meet you?”

That was true; South Korea had millions of other people in it. Ha-Jin could’ve bumped into a different man during the exhibit; Jae-Yeong could’ve lived without dealing with iSOi cosmetics. They could’ve lived their lives without knowing each other.

Then why?

“Maybe, the deities used us as tools to help each other remember,” she told him, “We were just here to help each other out. If you had not met me, you wouldn’t make sense of all the trances, memories, and feelings. You wouldn’t know that you were Wang So.”

There was a momentary pause. It was only then that Ha-Jin realized how cold it was inside his apartment. Their atmosphere did not help one bit.

“Then I’d rather not know who Wang So is if I’m going to lose you,” he said.

He took small steps towards her. There were no tears in his eyes still, but his pain was evident. She wanted to take back everything that she said; but Ha-Jin knew a lost cause when she saw one. Besides, she already finalized her plans.

“Jae-Yeongah,” she said, “I’m sorry. I’m really sorry, but...I think...we really have to stop.”

He said nothing. Jae-Yeong closed the space between them and stared down at her. The light from the outside illuminated him, casting a dark shadow. For a second, she remembered the first time she left him – it was unintentional, but necessary. She recalled that look of hatred on his face when he said he never wanted to see her again.

This time, no words came out.

He didn’t give her the chance to speak either.

His hands pulled her face towards him, sealing her lips with a kiss. It was unlike the kisses they usually shared – all gentle, loving, and warm. Ha-Jin could sense the urgency as he locked his lips with hers, his hands firm yet gentle as they held her face. She reciprocated the urgency, but her decision moved her to tears. As she kissed him with such passion, she couldn’t help but taste the salt of her tears.

Quickly, he kissed her eyes, the trail of tears, and her cheeks before returning his attention to her lips.

She knew he didn’t want to let go. His grasp of her said much. But Ha-Jin knew she felt the same. If it were possible, she wished to hold on to him as long as she could.

But that wasn’t possible.

He gently pulled away from her, but he still held her face.

“I love you,” he whispered, “I love you.”

She knew that if she stayed a second longer, her plans would not push through.

Ha-Jin kissed Jae-Yeong for one last time, remembering the sweetness of his lips. She wanted to memorize every aspect of him, but she knew she wouldn’t be forgetting him. No matter what happened, he would be a striking memory – a painful one.

“I’m sorry,” she said, “Goodbye.”

And without another word, she caressed his cheeks and turned her back on him. She fervently hoped he wouldn’t follow.

He didn’t.

When she reached the elevator, she quickly pushed the button. It took a minute or two before the elevator arrived and opened for her. Thankfully, no one was inside. She hurriedly got in and pushed the close button; she wanted nothing but to get away.

Once the elevator closed, that’s when she broke down.

She left him for the second time around.

He felt the pain worsen the moment she left; it was like someone stabbed him multiple times and left him to bleed. Part of him wished he could run after her, but he knew once Ha-Jin made up her mind, there was no stopping her.

She was truly Hae Soo.

Strangely enough, he didn’t cry. As Jae-Yeong stood there, frozen in his spot, and cold, he thought about the things she said – of how she claimed that their second chance was far from what they initially thought, of how it wasn’t about them.

He couldn’t help but think that she was wrong.

But what was the point? She was gone. 

She still loved him, though – that he nor she could ever deny. That look in her eyes suggested that she felt nothing but that for him. In fact, he suspected that her love for him was one of the driving reasons behind her decision.

Her leaving was nothing new anymore; she did it before.

He could still hear her voice in her letter.

I came to realize that the opposite of loving is not hating, but leaving. I’m afraid you might think that I left you and that you left me. I yearn for you so much, but I can’t be near you.

Questions harassed his mind as he stood in his apartment, all alone.

Why must it always come to a point where you have to leave me?

(Two Days Later)

“Are you sure you want to do this?”

Ha-Jin saw the uncertainty in Chae-Rin’s eyes as the latter handed her a basket of fruits for the trip. She knew her roommate was having a difficult time accepting this, but everything was already set.

“Of course I am,” replied Ha-Jin, “I wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t.”

Chae-Rin bit her lip.

“Ha-Jinah, do you really have to leave?” she asked.

Ha-Jin looked at her ticket then at her bag, which she handed over to one of the conductors.

“Yes, it’s for the best,” she said.

She knew her friend wasn’t still entirely sold out for her decision, but no matter what Chae-Rin said, Ha-Jin’s mind was already made up. She finished all of her business, quit her job, and got the ticket.

“Ha-Jinah,” began Chae-Rin, “Leaving isn’t always the answer.”

The sound of people chatting noisily about tickets and late-minute bookings temporarily distracted Ha-Jin from what her roommate said. But she couldn’t deny Chae-Rin’s point nor could she ignore the need.

Chae-Rin didn’t understand.

She never would, but that was the least of Ha-Jin’s problems now.

Instead of arguing, she pulled her long-time roommate and friend in for a hug.

“Thank you for everything, Chae-Rinah,” she said, “I’m going to miss you a lot. Don’t invite strange boys in our apartment, okay? Find a good roommate who will cook ramen for you.”

She heard Chae-Rin sob. “Maybe I’ll invite strange boys so that you’ll come back.”

“No, you won’t. I know you’re responsible now.”

The two girls parted and smiled at each other, one of them trying to subdue her tears. Chae-Rin wiped away a tear and gently pushed Ha-Jin.

“Just promise me that wherever you go, you’ll be happy, okay?” she said, “Promise me.”

Ha-Jin, despite feeling troubled, smiled her widest at her lovable roommate of three years. She nodded eagerly, hoping the tears would stop falling. She didn’t know if she had more tears; she probably used them up already.

“I promise,” she said.

With one final goodbye, Ha-Jin headed towards her ride – bags packed, mind made, and heart heavy with questions.

As she fell in line, the sun’s light shone on the ring she wore. She raised it up against the sun. It looked so beautiful against the morning’s glory, all sparkling and pretty. unintentionally raised into a smile.

Once she got up on the bus, she would be leaving everything behind.

But with that ring on her hand, she’d be keeping one thing –

His promise.

“Tell me, how can I cut this leash and be free?”

The mere memory of the astronomy tower and his promise to protect the Crown Prince was brought back to the forefront of his mind.

He was supposed to fill the prescription for his father’s medicine, but he ended up sitting down and staring into space. It’s been a hard couple of days; he knew he had every right to space out every now and then – except, now, he wasn’t spacing out.

He was re-evaluating his lives – both of them.

The white walls calmed him down but could not stop him from questioning destiny and fate. He was trapped in the same scenario all over again – forced to protect others by putting his happiness away. He sincerely wondered if this was life’s purpose for him, to be the good one who sacrifices what he loves for the benefit of others.

If that was his second chance, it was a crappy one.

I am sick and tired of having to turn my back on the things that I like. Things always go awry.

She no longer answered his calls. It took him three days to realize that she left without a trace. Maybe, she had planned the entire thing a week before she bid him goodbye. He tried to look for her again, but no one knew where she went.

She made up her mind and he had no power to change it.

Perhaps, she knew that his destiny was always like this.

He looked at his phone. He was sorely tempted to try and call her again, but he knew that it would be a hopeless case. He would just be wasting his time and hurting himself all over again. If only he could release everything he felt.

He wanted to rip down the walls, to scream and curse the gods for being unfair with him. He knew he wasn’t the wisest king, but what did he do to deserve such cruel fate?

What?

“Jae-Yeongah?”

His head rose at the sound of a familiar voice. Opposite him stood his mother – the biological one.

People say that a mother is sensitive to everything her child is going through. The latter need not say anything because the former, despite not knowing much, already knows. Mothers are good at sensing their child’s pain.

In this case, Jae-Yeong wondered if she could.

She gazed at him intently as she cautiously approached him. Eventually, she was only inches away from him. She knelt down in front of him to reach his level.

“Jae-Yeong, are you alright?”

He felt like a child.

The sight of her reaching out to him was enough to break him.

Without warning, the tears he kept for weeks started streaming down his cheeks. He felt her envelope him in warm hug, trying to soothe his pain in the little way she could. He hated himself for crying like a child, but it could not be helped.

Not when his mother wiped away his tears.

(Three Weeks Later)

“So, it has been set. We will push through with this marriage.”

Half of the table smiled at the announcement. Nari, of course, smiled graciously as she lifted her glass, mirroring her father who sat opposite her. Hwang Kwang-Soo did so, as well. His wife, Hwang Shin-Hye, remained stoic yet cordial and not because she shared the sentiments of her biological sons.

Il-Sung was not present for the event, as expected. The one who represented his feelings was Tae-Won, who refused to raise his glass or even smile at the entire ordeal. Instead, the youngest Hwang eyed his eldest brother, who was seated beside his bride-to-be.

Jae-Yeong did not smile nor frown at the announcement. He was just looking at the people who were looking at him, their expectations blatant. He felt Nari smiling at him, her dimples making an appearance every now and then. He knew she was very ecstatic with the decision; she did say she was excited to be his wife.

He didn’t say anything.

As his father looked at him expectantly, Jae-Yeong obliged. He raised his glass.

Because that was all he could do – raise his glass.

(Three Months Later)

“Are you really going through with this?”

Jae-Yeong did not immediately answer. He was too busy cuffing his links and pulling his white gloves. He stared at himself in front of the mirror, ensuring his tie was spot-on. It took him three minutes to realize that his younger brother spoke behind him.

“I don’t have much of a choice, do I?” he asked, still looking at himself.

Tae-Won sighed. “Il-Sung hyung thinks you’re crazy,” he remarked.

“Well, he could think what he wants.”

Jae-Yeong sensed the shuffle of unease from his dongsaeng who stood by the door. Prior to this day, they had countless conversations. He was touched with Tae-Won’s affection and worry for him.

“You don’t even love this woman.”

Jae-Yeong checked his phone and saw that he received a text from his mother. He swiped up and smiled before putting it down to adjust his tie. After that, he deemed himself presentable and faced his brother.

Tae-Won was really fearful; he did not hide his worries from his hyung. Jae-Yeong could attest to the numerous times he approached him to ask or to argue. But the former knew the latter would not understand.

He did not know, anyway.

“Jae-Yeong hyung, you still have a choice,” said his dongsaeng.

“I know,” he said, “I do.”

Tae-Won heaved a sigh.

“You’ve made up your mind, haven't you?”

All Jae-Yeong could do was just smile at him.

“Trust me.”

The younger one’s phone rang, breaking the moment. Tae-Won wanted to say more, but the constant ringing kept him distracted. Rather than argue with his hyung further, he decided to take the call and leave Jae-Yeong alone.

He approached the window and stared outside.

Everything was ready. He could see the caterers scrambling below him, flowers getting arranged here and there, and people arriving in their most beautiful gowns and suits. It was a joyous event in the eyes of the public.

This would mark history, they would say. They would talk about it for years to come.

The wedding bells rang outside.

He grabbed his coat and took a deep breath.

Everyone was expecting a wedding – the tying of two souls. But for Jae-Yeong, today wouldn’t be that day.

It would be the day one soul finally breaks free.

--

A/N: It took me five days to write this chapter, but I’m taking my time because to be honest, I don’t want it to end. When I ended it, I realized that all I needed were two more chapters. Three, if I needed more information out there. This has been fun and sad.

Cheer up, there’s still more to come.