“Does your head still hurt?”

They were still trapped in that old cabin in the middle of the woods. The winds continued to howl furiously, rapping at the window. It was pitch black outside, indicating they were deep in the night. Ha-Jin had already lost track of time; she assumed it must be midnight or something. But right now she couldn’t think properly.

“Go Ha-Jin, answer my question. Does your head still hurt?”

You’d think Jae-Yeong didn’t just drop a bombshell (sort of) on her. He looked at her with concern, eyeing a possible bruise on her forehead.

“I…I’m just a little dizzy,” she said, “I’ll be fine.”

He touched her forehead.

“You’re a little warm,” he remarked, “We’ll have to get you some medicine tomorrow. Hopefully, the snow would have lessened. I don’t want to rush you into the cold when you’re wearing just that.”

Jae-Yeong settled himself on the floor and checked the fire behind him. He tossed in some scrap wood to keep it burning. Ha-Jin, on the other hand, was still at lost for words. She didn’t know what to say.

“I don’t think you understand how drawn I am to you.”

What did he mean?

She stared at the fire, trying to dissect her thoughts and his. When he returned his eyes to her, she resisted the urge to jump.

“What? Still can’t understand what I just told you?” he asked.

“I…how?” she questioned, “I’m just a makeup specialist.”

“You are just a makeup specialist—one that doesn’t know how to respect her superiors by talking back,” he remarked with a frown, “Just a makeup specialist who doesn’t mind her own business.” Then he smiled, “A makeup specialist who understands.”

There was a meaningful look in his eyes. The fire behind him illuminated his figure, casting a calming silhouette around him. He rubbed his hands together. He must’ve been cold; that white shirt wasn’t enough.

Was he thinking about the rain?

“Do you want…your jacket back?” she asked.

“No, it’s yours,” he said, “I want to keep you warm.”

She clung tightly unto the coat he lent her. There were still so many questions she wanted to ask, but she felt embarrassed to do so.

“Nari…” she said and trailed off.

Jae-Yeong was picking on a stick on the floor when he heard her mention Nari’s name. Ha-Jin was scared for a bit; did she hit a nerve? She couldn’t read his expression. He bit his lip again and just looked at her.

“I don’t know how much you know about Nari and me,” he began, “If you’re asking if I used to like her, the answer is yes. Were we official? No.”

“Why not?”

“Because I couldn’t understand her. She said she wasn’t ready for a relationship but if she were, it would be me,” he explained, “Nari wasn’t the type who jumped into relationships easily. She was selective like that. So, when we realized we liked each other, I gave her the time to think about it.”

“Then one day, Il-Sung brings her home as his girlfriend,” he concluded, “You can imagine my shock.”

There was a hint of resentment in Jae-Yeong’s voice as he continued to pick on the stick. Ha-Jin wondered if he could still have at least an ounce of affection. Why would he sound disappointed or even upset?

“So…do you still like her?” she asked.

He smiled at her. “Took me a while to realize that I shouldn’t want someone like that,” he answered, “I should be with someone who values me in the same way I value them. She didn’t and she had Il-Sung. It hurt for a period of time, but I finally got over it five months ago.”

“How?”

He smiled knowingly at her, “Because a certain girl kept me company under the rain that one time,” he said.

This feels surreal, Ha-Jin thought as he stared at her, This doesn’t feel real. What’s going on?

“Are you playing me again?” she dared to ask.

“What? No,” he sighed exasperatedly, “My god, Go Ha-Jin. You don’t trust me, do you?”

“You barely knew me that time and I…I did what was right. You were so alone; any person would’ve done it,”

“No, not anyone would’ve done it…rare few would and you were one of them,” he insisted, “Trust me when I say even I don’t understand myself. I’ve been fighting that battle in my head for months. I know how weird it looks, but believe me, I tried reasoning with myself.”

He tossed the stick at the fire.

“But somehow, you managed to draw me in,” he ended, “I don’t understand how. It just happened.”

The fire was dwindling, shedding only spares of light. Jae-Yeong stood up to gather more of the excess wood laying around the cabin while Ha-Jin processed her thoughts. Did he just say that his feelings just happened?

He threw in another stick into the fire.

“This has got to be the lamest confession in the world,” he commented, “And I can’t believe I’m doing it in the middle of nowhere.”

There was a sense of relief in Ha-Jin’s chest as she watched him tend to the fire. He didn’t say that he loved her—that would’ve been a bit too fast, considering everything was new (and he could probably not be Wang So). But the mere fact that he was drawn to her…what could that mean?

Her head throbbed again, causing her to wince. Her hand automatically touched her forehead, rubbing it for some relief.

“I…I think I should lie down,” she said, edging herself back to the floor. She laid her head on the cold, hard wood and took a deep breath.

Is this a dream? Am I dreaming? Because if it is, that would .

Jae-Yeong sat three inches away from her. He rested his back on the dusty wall and hugged his knees. Ha-Jin almost invited him to sleep beside her, but that didn’t feel right.

“Are you still mad, Go Ha-Jin?” he asked, his head buried under his arms.

“No,”

He glanced at her, “I’m complicated, I know,” he explained, “But I know you understand or else you wouldn’t put up with it.”

She looked up at him and saw that rare genuine smile—the happy one.

“Maybe that’s why I like you,” he added before closing his eyes and burying his head under his arms again, presumably to go back to sleep. She ended up gazing at him as he eventually succumbed to slumber, snoring lightly as he did. Ha-Jin feared he might fall over, but she knew he was strong.

I don’t know what’s going to happen next, she thought, But I’m glad you’re here.

--

(5 Months Ago)

Ha-Jin feared he would brush off her hand on his shoulder. Surprisingly, however, Jae-Yeong remained steadfast under the pouring rain. He said nothing at all but she sensed that he was bursting to do so.

Anyone in his position would feel the same level of pain.

“Do you pity me, Go Ha Jin?” he asked, raising his voice.

Her hand was still on his shoulders when the question came. She didn’t know what else to do. Should she remove it? Should she say something?

“I don’t need your pity,” he continued in a cold voice, “I don’t need anyone’s pity.”

But still, he didn’t shrug her hand off.

“Who says I have to pity you to be here?” she shot back.

Jae-Yeong turned around to face her, finally convincing her to remove her hand from his shoulder. She wasn’t sure if those were tears or rain on his face, but that hurt in his eyes was very evident. They were bloodshot, filled with suppressed anger and pain.

That didn’t stop her.

“I know it hurts,” she continued, “But you know that you’re not what they say. You’re far from that.”

“How would you know?” he snapped.

She gazed at him. “Then are you what they say you are?” she asked, “Are you a good for nothing adopted son? Are you unstable? Are you unqualified?”

That got to him. Ha-Jin watched the anger disintegrate from his eyes as he processed her barrage of questions. The rain was getting worse, but she took advantage of the opportunity. Who knows what would happen after this?

“If you give in to them, then you’re proving them right,” she continued, “You are good for nothing and you will ruin them.”

Ha-Jin realized that he might go on a full-blown rage, especially with the things she was saying. A little filtering would help, but right now that wasn’t on her mind. He had to see what he couldn’t.

“But I know you’re not that,” she said, “I know you’re more than that.”

He said nothing but merely gazed down at her. The rain continued to pour on them but neither of them made a move; they just stared at each other for the rest of the night.

--

The sun peeked through the dusty windows of the old cabin. Ha-Jin was caught in between slumber and waking up to reality. She wished she could sleep forever, but her brain reminded her of where she currently was.

As the rays of the sun continued to blind her, she surrendered to its will and woke up.

Her right side felt sore; she must’ve slept on the right side the entire night. She flinched as she felt her tingling leg and chose to turn to her left. Once she did, however, she ended up being an inch away from Jae-Yeong’s face.

She suppressed a squeal at the sight of his figure. She thought he’d felt her rapid movements; fortunately, he was still sound asleep.

Apparently, he had fallen from his sitting position and ended up sleeping beside her. His arms were crossed in front of him; he must’ve been trying to warm himself from the cold. Ha-Jin, still clutching the jacket (which became her makeshift blanket), felt feelings of guilt. He didn’t even bother to keep himself warm just to keep her comfortable.

Jae-Yeong looked so peaceful in his slumber; in fact, he was like a child—snoring lightly. Ha-Jin found herself studying every inch of his face in the same manner she did when he rescued her from those thugs.

Everything was the same.

Was last night just a dream? she thought, I hope not.

Did he really tell her that he liked her? Did he really say that or was everything an illusion from the cold?

Despite the questions, she wished she could watch him forever.

A minute or two passed before Jae-Yeong opened his eyes. Ha-Jin didn’t have the time to hide what she was doing; immediately, she sat up. She could feel her heart racing, knowing he might have caught her staring.

She heard him yawn and felt large movements as he himself sat up and stretched. She didn’t dare look at him or else he’d see her blushing cheeks.

“How are you feeling?” was his first question.

“I…I feel better now,” she said, holding her forehead, “I think the headache’s gone.”

“That’s good,” he said and yawned again, “Can you walk or stand up?”

She felt him stand, his heavy footsteps making their way towards the window. Jae-Yeong peeked outside to see the weather conditions.

“I think it’s safe to go out now,” he confirmed, “My phone died last night so I don’t know what the time is. But whatever it is, we should get going.” He then approached her and extended a hand, “Come on, Go Ha-Jin. Let’s get you back.”

She looked at his hand then at him. It was odd to see that sparkle in his eye.

“What? You don’t trust me?” he asked, “After everything I told you last night?”

It was real.

Without wasting another second, she took his hand. He raised her up until she was just inches away from him. He looked at her with those dark eyes.

“By the way, Merry Christmas.”

--

The snow was still deep outside as Ha-Jin and Jae-Yeong threaded the woods. He did have a better sense of direction, despite everything looking just white to Ha-Jin. He must’ve been here so often, he already knew where to go. Once he just looked at the tree and said, “Yeah, we should go through this path.”

One of his arms was wrapped around her shoulder for support. Ha-Jin was still a little unstable from her fall last night, so he insisted that he look out for her. His other hand held hers to keep her from stumbling.

“Are you feeling better?” he asked her.

“Yeah, just a little sore, I guess,” she answered, “But my back will get better—“

“No, I mean…are you still mad?”

He wasn’t playing her; he was sincerely curious.

“Why would I be mad?” she asked, “I don’t have the right.”

He scoffed, “You’ve always been mad at me even if you don’t have the right,” he shot back, “What makes this different?”

She knew he was teasing her; that infamous cocky smile of his made an appearance once again. It was good to see that back.

“What a joke,” she murmured.

“Ahh, after I just told you what that I found you interesting? Really? I’m hurt,” he remarked in a wounded voice, “I’m not even sure if you like me back.”

Ha-Jin thought the obvious answers was “Yes!” but she held back. All this time, she was sure of her feelings for Jae-Yeong, but when he brought it up, there was a little issue. Without a doubt, she was in love with Wang So, but can she apply the same feelings to Jae-Yeong?

He noticed her silence. “Did I scare you?” he asked, “Don’t worry; I’m not going to force you to like me back. I’ll have to work hard for it. I like it better when I know I earned something.” Jae-Yeong kept a firm grasp on her shoulder as they continued to walk through the path.

She couldn’t help but feel a little touched.

“But don’t give me false hopes, all right?” he added, “Don’t hurt me too much.”

“I…wow…that’s not fair,”

“Why not?”

She pursed her lips. “You think I’ll hurt you when you don’t even know me too well,” she explained, “That’s a little judgmental.”

He laughed, “Well, I guess I’ll have to know more about you,” he suggested.

Unlike last night, the snow fell gently and the winds whistled, making their cheeks pink. Everything seemed straight out of a horror movie the previous night but now, Ha-Jin felt secure in Jae-Yeong’s arms.

It felt familiar—how he held her. She knew someone held her with the same sense of security and it wasn’t her cheater of an ex-boyfriend. Her fingers clutched Jae-Yeong’s shirt tightly so she wouldn’t fall over. She looked at him every now and then, trying to take in everything that he said.

Is this what hope felt like?

“Is it me or are those ambulances?” he asked. Ha-Jin leaned forward, adjusting her sight to the far-off perimeter. Sure enough, there were blinking red and blue lights accompanied by a small siren. A group of people were also walking around and waving hands. Their chatters became more distinct as she and Jae-Yeong walked closer.

Once they reached the middle, the voices grew louder and more familiar.

“AHH NOONA!”

Two tall figures were running towards her. Initially, they looked like blurs with vibrant hair but once they got closer, Ha-Jin could see the worried faces of Ji-Woo and Ki-Joo. Before she knew it, she was out of Jae-Yeong’s hold, engulfed in a power hug with her favorite dongsaengs.

“NOONA WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED? WE WERE SO WORRIED!” cried Ji-Woo, hugging her tightly, “WE SEARCHED FOR YOU ALL NIGHT!”

“WE THOUGHT YOU WERE A GONNER OR SOMETHING!” added Ki-Joo, “DON’T LEAVE US AGAIN NOONA!”

Ha-Jin smiled as her shaking hands brushed the boys’ heads. They released her and checked her face and her hands.

“Ah noona, why do you have a bleeding band?”

“Are you alright? You look pale!”

“What happened? Why did you leave?”

“If this is because I said Ji-Woo’s trying to impress you, that’s his fault not mine!”

“I’m all right, just a little bruised that’s all,” she assured them. The boys continued to buzz around her, worrying about her blood pressure. Her eyes, however, followed Jae-Yeong as he walked ahead to see his family. Both Nari and Tae-Won rushed towards him; his father, mother, and Il-Sung followed behind.

“Hyung, thank God you’re safe!” exclaimed the youngest, “Where have you been?”

Nari did not say anything but her look conveyed plenty of emotions. Ha-Jin could see she wanted to hug Jae-Yeong, but with Il-Sung nearby, she wouldn’t dare. Instead, she just approached him with that confused and frustrated expression on her face.

“Nightly stroll,” answered Jae-Yeong, “Why is everyone riled up?”

Il-Sung scoffed, “See? I told you he was just around,” he said, “He wouldn’t be lost. He knows this place like the back of his hand.”

“But the boys here said that Ha-Jin went missing then Nari said so did you,” said Tae-Won, “You never came back for dinner and after that. Naturally, we were worried.”

“A simple text would’ve been appreciated, son,” said Hwang Kwang-Soo, “Simply disappearing off to nowhere—do you want your Father to die of worry?”

Hwang Shin-Hye stood stoically beside her husband. Ha-Jin wondered if the estranged step-mother even worried about her step-son throughout the night. Il-Sung couldn’t have been colder, but was a mother that heartless?

“I’m sorry Father,” apologized Jae-Yeong, “Will not make you worry like that again. My walks, however, lead to me to find a lost Go Ha-Jin. I hope that makes up for it.”

“Ha-Jinah, you look pale and you’ve got scratches. You should get to the ambulance,” said Tae-Won, “They’ll bring you to the nearest clinic. Come on, hold on to me.”

“We’ll bring her, hyung!” volunteered Ji-Woo, “Let’s go noona. Off to the ambulance we go.” Ki-Joo held unto her arm while the other dongsaeng supported her back. Tae-Won went ahead of the boys, leading them to the ambulance.

“Hyung,” he called out, “You should get that cut attended too.”

“I’ll be fine. You get Miss Go Ha-Jin attended first,” said Jae-Yeong.

Ha-Jin saw Jae-Yeong stay put beside his father. Il-Sung was shaking his head, complaining about wasted time while Nari stood behind Jae-Yeong—her face in utter disbelief. Ha-Jin knew she would hear about it again, but for now that wasn’t the focus.

Jae-Yeong was just staring at her. He just mouthed “I’ll follow” to her.

And as Ji-Woo helped her up the ambulance, she knew he would.

--

“Spending Christmas at a clinic; trust noona to add some weird twist to her holidays,”

Ha-Jin laughed and flinched as the nurse applied the last coating of antiseptic on her wound. She flinched at the sting, but the sight of Ji-Woo’s face was enough to make her forget.

“That’s true. I thought we’d spend Christmas morning skiing,” added Ki-Joo, “Didn’t think we’d be in a clinic and not injured.”

“We were up all night last night. We couldn’t sleep cause we didn’t know where you were,”

“I’m sorry for making you worry,” she apologized, “If it makes you feel better, I’ll pay double the next time I order at the café.”

She thanked the nurse after applying the last wrap on her injured wrist. Once they were all alone, the boys sat closer to their noona. Ha-Jin’s fondness of the two grew when they showed her how much they cared throughout the entire ambulance ride. She felt guilty for making them worry.

“What happened, noona? Where’d you go?” asked Ki-Joo, “One moment you were eating with us, the next thing we knew, you were gone. We ran into Tae-Won hyung and that other girl an hour later and heard that Hwang Jae-Yeong was missing too.”

“Did he take you somewhere?” asked Ji-Woo, “Was he mean to you again? If that guy did something to you, I swear to God—“

“He didn’t,” said Ha-Jin, “He was the one who found me in the woods.”

“What?”

“I got…a little lost,” she continued, “I wanted to have some fresh air so I wandered off the trail.”

“During a blizzard?”

“I know. I guess I had too much wine,” she lied, “I’m sorry. But please don’t blame Jae-Yeong. I don’t think I’d be alive if he didn’t see me.”

“Really? That ultra mean big boss saved you?” asked in Ji-Woo in disbelief, “I thought he was heartless.”

Ha-Jin heaved a sigh. “Apparently, he’s not,” she said.

“Hey, what do you have against Hwang Jae-Yeong anyway?” Ki-Joo asked Ji-Woo, “He’s a relatively nice guy. I mean, he’s not as warm as Tae-Won hyung but he’s a good guy. See, he even got our noona back. So stop being so judgmental.”

“But noona said he used to be this mean boss who bullied her a lot,” explained Ji-Woo, “I didn’t think he’d be the one to save her.”

She looked fondly at her boys as one reprimanded the other.

“I’m sorry if we’re spending Christmas here because of me,” she apologized again, “Maybe we can make up for it later or something.”

“Don’t worry, noona! We can still blow a Christmas cake,” assured Ji-Woo. He got out a small cupcake from his pocket, “I got this from the clinic’s little shop then I asked them if they had a lighter. Ta-da!” he pulled a small lighter, “Now, we can pretend it’s a big Christmas cake!”

“Geez, aren’t you resourceful?” commented Ki-Joo.

“I don’t see you with your cake!”

“Stop, stop!” exclaimed Ha-Jin, “Let’s blow our Christmas cake!”

Ji-Woo opened the cupcake while Ki-Joo pressed the lighter. Once everything was set, the trio smiled at their own makeshift Christmas cake.

“Merry Christmas!” they all cheered.

“And a blessed New Year—minus noona getting lost in the woods again!” added Ji-Woo. Together, they blew on the lighter (which Ki-Joo turned off) and clapped. Ha-Jin hugged her barista boys and thanked them again.

Their little merriment was disrupted by a knock on the door.

“I’ll get it,” volunteered Ki-Joo. As Ha-Jin took a bite off Ji-Woo’s cupcake, a worried Tae-Won came rushing in.

“Ha-Jinah, are you all right?” he asked, proceeding to her bed side, “Oh my god, I was worried when these two said you went missing last night. Are you okay? How’s your head? Did they give you enough medicine?”

“Tae-Wonah, relax, relax,” she calmed him, “I’m doing better. The nurse stitched me up see?” She showed him her newly bandaged wrist, “And they gave me painkillers already. I’m all right now. Thank you so much for asking.”

He looked a little frazzled; hair flying all over the place and dark circles under his eyes. For a second, Ha-Jin worried her disappearance might’ve caused him his precious time as well. The guilty feelings came back—two times worse.

“Don’t go disappearing into the woods during a blizzard,” he told her off, “Don’t you know how dangerous that is? How did you spend the night? Where did you go?”

“Your hyung brought me to this cabin you told me about,” she answered, “The one in the middle of the woods.”

“What the hell were you doing there?”

“Apparently, noona here wandered over the trail for some fresh air and ended up getting lost,” explained Ki-Joo. Tae-Won’s eyes widened with surprise at her.

“Why would you do that?”

“She was a little tipsy,” defended Ji-Woo, “She went out when she shouldn’t have. Cut her some slack, hyung. It’s a good thing she’s here with us, all right?”

The lines on Tae-Won’s forehead slowly disappeared. He heaved a sigh as he took Ha-Jin’s hand in his.

“Don’t do that again, Ha-Jinah. God knows what could’ve happened to you,” he said, “If you wanted fresh air, you could’ve just stayed in the balcony. Don’t disappear without a trace. You had me worrying all night.”

Me? What about your brother?

Speaking about his brother…

“Where is Jae-Yeong?” she asked.

“He’s in Room 6C. The blizzard did him no good; he has high fever,” replied Tae-Won, “When the ambulance took you in, Father said Jae-Yeong hyung started feeling faint. They got him in the car and doctors say he’s just suffering from fever. They’re watching over him now.”

“Is he all right? Did he take his meds?”

“Yes. I just went to see him a minute ago,” he answered, “He’s doing fine, Ha-Jinah. Right now, you have to worry about yourself.”

His warm touch was comforting for Ha-Jin’s little hand. She gave him a reassuring press and a grateful smile.

“Thanks for coming to see me,” she told him, “I’m sorry for becoming such a bother. I’ve disrupted your Christmas.”

“No, it’s okay. I’m just glad you’re all patched up,” he said, “You’re never a disruption anyway.”

His comment made her blush almost instantly. She could see the two dongsaengs hovering by the corner, whispering to each other. Were they talking about this supposedly intimate moment between her and Tae-Won?

“Ah…thank you very much,” she said in a way too polite voice.

Just then, the door opened for the second time.

A pale Jae-Yeong had entered the room, much to everyone’s surprise. But the former didn’t notice their astonishment at his presence. His eyes found Ha-Jin then immediately locked on hers and Tae-Won’s interlocked hands.

--

A/N: I realized that giving someone a new personality was harder than I thought. I learned, however, that some things are not meant to stay. In this case, expect changes everywhere, dear readers. Do not be too confident in what you see now, yet do not fear the future too much. So, when things are odd or not what you expected, just flow with it.

Things will make sense in the future. 

P.S. I might be gone for a day or two. But who knows? :D Keep reading and supporting please!