The Immediate Future

What she said, it didn’t make sense. But if he was going to be honest, he knew it did.

The inner struggle has been going on for quite some time; those dreams and faces, he never really knew what they meant. Sometimes, he thought he was going crazy—maybe his father’s friends were right—maybe, he wasn’t right in the head.

He clutched his bags tight as he walked down the street.

Part of him couldn’t understand why she would make such outrageous claims but that was just a small concern. What bothered him most was the fact that she didn’t really like him as he thought she did. Was it possible that her interest was just because of who she claimed him to be?

It hurt.

He didn’t bother hailing a cab; the walking gave him more time to think about the entire ordeal. He didn’t have to worry about her anyway; she was in a safe place.

But he would never forget her face, that was for sure. No matter what she said or did to him, he would never, ever forget that face. He would never forget everything about her. Whatever happened, he would have to put up with her memory.

“You’ll have to throw me away. Because you...you are my person.”

Rejecting her was hard; he didn’t want to. Given the situation, however, he did have to throw her away…not because of what he felt, but because it was necessary.

He couldn’t put her in between harder ordeals. It wasn’t as if he didn’t love her anymore; it just felt right to leave. Maybe if he gave things more time, like a year or two, everything would calm down. She would be okay.

“I came to realize that the opposite of loving is not hating, but leaving.”

He stopped by the pedestrian lane—where did he hear that voice before?

Must’ve been a letter.

He shook his head, clearing the voices out. The light had turned green, signaling his turn to cross the street. He would give it time, he told himself, he would give it time. It was the right thing to do. Maybe, he could sort out his identity on his own.

No more burdening others. Just him.

“Hwang Jae-Yeong!”

He stopped in his tracks. That voice was all too familiar.

She stood on the opposite side of the road. Even if he was far, he could see her tear-stained face and those eyes—those big, beautiful eyes he had come to adore. Her hair flew across her face, failing to hide her desperation.

“Jae-Yeongah!” she cried again.

Her flimsy slippers took small steps, leading her towards him.

Why? Why did she follow?

“Jae-Yeongah,” she called out.

He had to leave soon, he knew that. But here she was, walking towards him. Why did she follow? And why couldn’t he resist her?

Then, the bright lights came. And a loud noise.