The Immediate Future

“I am sick and tired of having to turn my back on the things that I like. Things always go awry.”

Saying these words out loud only confirmed the unfortunate truth. He didn’t want to think of it that way before, but given the circumstances, it was as if the deities were playing him.

Why can’t he just be happy?

He looked at the astronomer, hoping for some answers.

“Tell me,” he said, “How can I cut this leash and be free?”

--

It’s his second lifetime, but it seems life was playing a bad joke on him—that’s what it looked like from his point-of-view.

He thought everything would be pleasant since he first woke up. After all, the worse should be over. He almost self-destructed, suffered from one too many concussions, almost died, and lost the girl that he loved. Somehow, life would’ve sensed that he’s had enough of the hardships.

So, why was this happening again?

Why was he trapped?

It was never his fault—it was always those close to him who got him in trouble. Instead of them getting served the worst end of the stick, he was the one who ended up cleaning after them. Granted, his brother got his just deserts, but why must he suffer with him?

Not that he didn’t like helping out, but sacrificing his own happiness for the second time was just too much.

The facts were straightforward: he couldn’t turn his back on the family and the legacy he must uphold, yet he couldn’t also turn his back on the woman he loved for two lifetimes. If he had to give her up AGAIN, he would lose his mind. But if he failed his family, he wouldn’t just be failing them—he’d fail everyone in the country.

 I am sick and tired of having to turn my back on the things that I like. Things always go awry.

He remembered complaining on top of the astronomy tower in Songak. It seems as if the deities always wanted him to be the better man—to sacrifice his wants for the benefit of others.

I came to sit by the water. However, the clouds had come.

As he sat there, he was sorely tempted to break down. But he couldn’t even do that—people might see.

“Jae-Yeongah?”

His head rose at the sound of her voice. She approached him with caution, probably sensing his vulnerable state. He tried to keep a strong face, but when she came closer, the tears started to flow.

He sobbed as she enveloped him in a hug. He hated for sobbing like a child, but it couldn’t be helped, especially when his mother wiped away his tears.