Chapter 29

With and Without Oh Sehun

"So do you know what college you're applying to sweetie?"

I pulled my head away from my mom's arm that was placing the bowl of chicken salad on the table in front of me. "Hmm I don't know," I said as I stirred my fork around my empty plate.

She stopped to look at me with her hand on her hips. "Areum. College applications are coming up and you still don't have a clue where you wanna go?"

Here we go again. 

"Do you at least know what you want to do?"

I kept my eyes locked on my plate and allowed my silence to answer for me. This only caused her to sigh deeply before walking back to the kitchen to get the rest of the food. I looked over at my dad's empty seat and never wished so badly before that he was home. I should've denied my mom's offer to pick me up after school (she got out of work early today) and instead head to the station, even if it meant being stuck with Satan for a couple hours.

After an awkward dinner that was filled with little mumbles here and there, I went straight up to my room and collapsed in my chair. I was already stressed out about being behind in school, but now the thought about college just made everything worst. It wasn't like I never cared to think or plan out these things though. As a matter of fact, it was something that I actually thought about a lot and even stressed about back in my junior year; yet again that was during the time when Sehun and I were still together. I guess after we broke up I just completely forgot about college and other adult-like things. Foolish, I know.

I let out a deep breath and laid my head on the desk with no motivation to move or do anything. I guess I was pretty much being lazy too. Thinking about college again, I began to wonder what colleges my classmates were planning to go to and if they had their whole life planned out. Was Kyungsoo going to a prestigious college? Did Irene and her little army even think about college at all? What's going to happen to Sehun after getting kicked off the team and losing his scholarships? Heck, what was Satan's plans after high school? 

Concluding that my situation wasn't so bad after all and I wasn't alone on this, I decided to rest my eyes for a few minutes before tackling my homework. The complete silence in the room was like music to my ears and filled me with calmness. Soon enough, my breathing started to pick up and I entered into a deep state of sleep. 

There was nothing but a sandy darkness before my eyes, but before I could realize it that quickly changed. I found myself sitting at my desk at school and hastily jotting down notes. I wasn't sure of what exactly I was writing down, but boy I must have been in a rush as seen through my illegible hand writing. 

Just as I was doing this, I felt a hand brush softly against my right shoulder and I so casually turned to see who it was. It was as if I was already expecting this person and greeted him with a warm smile as he brushed his head against mines.

"Are you still not done yet?" his deep and- must I add, consoling voice asked. 

"Hmmm just a little more," I replied. 

He then pulled out a chair in front of me and turned it to face me before sitting on it. Immediately butterflies entered my stomach and this nervous feeling only continued as he grabbed my hand and began to softly brush it with his thumb. He wasn't saying anything but I couldn't bare to look anywhere else. My heart was beating fast and my eyes were locked on his gentle eyes and smile. 

For some reason this all felt so familiar yet at the same time it didn't. I don't know what it was but I was enjoying this moment so much and didn't want it to end just yet . . . But it was as if somewhere at the back of my mind I had a slight idea that this wasn't real and it was all going to end soon, too soon. 

I kept my eyes locked on him as he began to blabber words that wasn't exactly processing in my head. I was just too busy staring at this image in front of me that was starting to remind me of a foreign feeling. I really did not want this to end. But before this could continue on any longer, I woke up abruptly to a flinch that shook half of my desk and living soul.

So it was just a dream. 

I slowly opened my eyes and had them adjusted to the bright lamp on my desk. I then sat up straight and rubbed my hands over my face to wipe away the many emotions I was feeling rather than anything physical. My heart was still pounding and the butterflies in the dream had somehow made its way to my actual real stomach. 

Was I that exhausted that my mind was playing around with me? It's been a while since I've had a dream about Sehun, so why was it happening all of a sudden again? It wasn't like I missed him or anything. Did that short "conversation" with him yesterday trigger this dream to happen?

I reached for my backpack on the ground and took out my homework with the goal to forget all of this, but more specifically to get rid of the unsettleness in my stomach. For the rest of the night I tried to fight this battle with anything that I could, but it was hard to with sudden flashes of his gentle smile every now and then throughout the night. As much as I wanted to deny everything and move on unswayed, I'd be lying if I said that my heart didn't skip a beat whenever I thought about the dream. 

The next day, the classroom was filled with silence as everybody anxiously awaited their turn to meet with an advisor. Just like everyone else, I used this time to think about what to say. It's not like we were going to be punished for saying anything wrong, but in a way it kind of did too. 

They were going to talk to us about our plans for college and the future and if they seemed possible based on our grades and academics. So to put it bluntly they were going to tell us that our dreams of going to Harvard was merely impossible because we weren't straight A++ students.

Just at that very moment, my heart jumped when I heard someone call out my name meaning that it was my turn. I nearly tripped like an idiot when I got up and made my way towards the door anxiously. 

"So Areum. What are your plans after high school?" 

My fingers began to fidget around and my short legs were swaying back and forth. The fact that other students were also meeting with their advisor in the same room made me feel even more cautious and anxious. "Uhhhm well." My mind went blank momentarily. "I don't really know." 

The squint in his eyes made it seem like I was the first one today to say something so ridiculous. "Do you know what you want to become?" 

"No not really." 

"So I'm guessing you don't have an idea about what college you want to go to also,"

"Yep." 

He nodded his head slowly with a "hmmm" and moved his lips around with uncertainty. The next few minutes was then filled with silence as he flipped through papers that I'm guessing had my grades and records on it. I took this chance to glance around the room and peek at other students who were also meeting with their advisors, and it kind of made me nervous to see them so bright and full of smiles. I guess I was wrong. Seems like everyone else does have their life planned out after all.

But what am I doing? I decided to brush everything off and proceeded to glance more around the room. Just at that very moment, my eyes abruptly came to a stop at the entrance of the door, and limping into the room at the same exact moment was Sehun. I quickly turned around to face my advisor correctly, but my heart was racing fast. Just what are the chances that he happens to walk in through the doors while I was looking at it? What are the chances that we're meeting with our advisors at the same time? I began to slightly panic even more when I wondered if he saw me too or had missed me. 

"How have you been Sehun?" 

"Hmm doing well, and you?" 

My eyebrows slightly shot up when I heard this friendly greeting between Sehun and his advisor- something that wasn't exchanged too often between other students and their advisors. I decided to turn my attention back to my advisor who was still overlooking the papers. Funny enough, it felt like he was spending more time looking at them than actually consulting with me about my future. 

After what seemed like another half minute he finally let out a sigh. "I hope this doesn't come off as the wrong way Areum, but you were very well on track for the first few years of high school. . . Did you by chance come across any recent hardships?" 

Any recent hardships? Does a breakup count as one? What am I saying. Of course not. It'd be childish to consider it so, but for some reason it truly felt like one. I was raised pretty fortunate growing up so the only "hardship" I've really experienced was watching all the memories that I created with someone go down the drain. But of course I wasn't going to tell my advisor that.

"Hmm no. I guess the senioritis just got to me pretty early this year." 

My advisor clicked his pen and let out a small smack to his lips. "Well, we could meet later after school to really look into a college. You're a very bright student Areum. Don't give up," 

I forced out a slight smile and made my way towards the exit after being excused. As I was doing so I was relieved to find Sehun still engaged in a conversation with his advisor. I guess I just didn't want him to hear the last few things that my advisor and I talked about, even though I wondered if he knew that I was here in the first place.

Putting that all aside for now, I decided to head on over to the cafeteria instead of back to class. There was only a few minutes left until lunch time and I'd figure that it wouldn't hurt to beat the crowd for once and grab my food first. Surprisingly, there were already a few students ahead of me by the time I got there. 

Just as I was grabbing a tray and some utensils, I flinched to the sound of a familiar voice that echoed loudly throughout the room. This person continued to guffaw at the top of his lungs, and this only caused some girls next to me to sigh and roll their eyes. I guess this was a normal everyday thing in the cafeteria that I was experiencing for the first time, or perhaps in a long time and I had just forgotten about it. 

"The look on her face was funny! You should've seen it dude," laughed Baekhyun. 

I began to anxiously move along the lunch line in hopes that the clown didn't spot me. I just wasn't in the mood for him to scream about my presence to the whole cafe- 

"Yo Areum!!"

Sh*t. I kept my eyes focused on the food being placed onto my tray rather than the clown who made his way next to me. 

"Since when did you start getting lunch?" 

"Since I was hungry." I must've caught him off guard with my witty response.

"Oh. So does that mean that you'll be joining us then?" He asked with a wide smile as he bumped his shoulder a couple times with mines. 

But before I could respond with another witty comment, I was sadly interrupted too soon by the sudden presence of a giant. "What? Areum's grabbing lunch?" Chanyeol sarcastically asked. 

"That's exactly what I said too," Baekhyun said.

I rolled my eyes and grabbed a bottle of water as the last of things for my meal, but I must say that it was relieving in a way to find their other friend not here. He must have still been meeting with his advisor. 

Belatedly realizing that the giant and clown were momentarily distracted by today's lunch menu, I took this as a chance to walk away before they could say anything more. I scurried towards the exit of the cafeteria before one of them could shout something ridiculous like "eat with us" or "come on Areum it's been a while since you've had lunch with us." The nightmare from spending lunch with them last time was starting to resurface, and I was not going to put myself in the same situation again. 

I began to think of places that I could enjoy my lunch in peace, but nothing was really popping in my head. I was also having a hard time carrying my lunch since the cold water bottle was making my hand slippery. The last thing I wanted to happen right now was having the life and joy in my hands be splattered all over the ground. 

I turned about three corners before finally making up my mind that I could just eat outside in the quad. It was still pretty chilly but it's not like I was going to die. All I know for sure was that it was better than eating with Baekhyun and Chanyeol.

Suddenly, my footsteps came to an utter stop and I found myself staring at something that I wish I could've avoided. An unsettling feeling entered my stomach and although I hate to say this, my heart was experiencing something that it hasn't felt for a long while now.

Standing not too far down the hallway was Sehun who was leaning against the lockers, and standing a few feet away from him was Irene. Sehun looked rather calm with the way his hands was in his pockets (like usual) while Irene seemed a bit more tense with the way her arms were crossed. Her sharp piercing eyes were staring at him, as if it was asking for the same back.

There was now a faint voice in my head that was telling me to turn around and head back, but there was an even stronger voice that was telling me otherwise. For some reason I couldn't find myself to turn around and head back to where I came from after witnessing this. It felt as if a single movement would trigger off a minefield, even though deep inside there was also a part of me that wanted to see why they were meeting up like this in the empty hall. I thought they had broken up. Why were they meeting here alone?

But before I could wonder any further, there was a sudden shift of events. My mind entered into a state of confusion and the hair on the back of my neck stood up. These sharp tingling feelings began to spread rapidly throughout my body and it felt like my heart was ready to leap. My knees and hands were now quaking. 

Why was she walking towards me? What did I do? Seeing this girl that I used to so often call a witch, hastily walking towards my way triggered so many unwanted memories and fears from that day. I wanted to just drop my tray of food and throw my arms up to block my head and face. I felt absolutely helpless and terrified with every one of her approaching footsteps.

However, very much to an unusual surprise the only thing that touched me was the slight wind from her zooming by. If I could remember correctly she did give me a quick glare, but for some reason it felt like it wasn't intended and was just out of anger from Sehun, which makes me question again about what happened between them. 

I quickly snapped out of it and returned to reality when I heard something hit the floor hard. I looked down and saw that it was my water bottle which had slipped out from my hand without me realizing. As I was bending down to pick it up, I remembered about the other person in the hallway.

Surprisingly he was still in the same spot, except this time he was looking through his phone. It was odd to see him still so calm after seeing Irene quite the opposite up close., but as expected that's Oh Sehun for you. Nevertheless, I made my way forward with the only goal of making it past him without anything being exchanged between us, not even the slightest eye contact.

However, of course I should've known that that wasn't going to happen. 

"You know I wouldn't eat outside if I was you. It was sprinkling a little the last time I checked."

How did he know that I was planning to eat outside? Regardless, "That's fine." But to be quite honest that wasn't fine at all. I was just being hard-headed and really did not want to eat outside in that kind of weather. However, I continued my steps like an idiot who doesn't like being told that they're wrong.

"Well if you want, we can find a spot somewhere else inside the school to eat our lunch," 

We . . . ? Taken aback, I quickly blurted out the fastest thing that came to mind, but unfortunately that fastest thing was also the most ignorant. "No thanks. I rather be by myself." 

He finally put his phone down and stood straight up. "I was just looking out for you Reum. No need to be so stuck up." 

Stuck up? "Well I don't need you to look out for me. Don't know why you would need to either."

"Maybe because I care?" 

"Now you want to care?"

Silence filled the hallway, and the only thing screaming was the tension that had escalated within these few short seconds. It finally clicked to me what had just happened, and I directed my enlarged eyes away from his. I don't know why I just did that. It was so unlikely of me to say such a thing. Regardless, I just wanted to be far awa-

"Areum," 

I flinched to the softness of his voice and stumbled a few steps backward when I saw him slowly proceed towards me. "Just stop Sehun,"

His footsteps listened. "Can we at least talk?"

I remained silent. I didn't know what to think of his words. 

He continued to stare at me for a few more seconds with his mouth half opened. Nothing but silence from it, but for some reason I knew that there were words hanging at the tip of his tongue that he wanted to get out.  However, "You know what. Never mind."

My eyes remained locked on the floor and my breathing was nowhere to be found as he began to walk away. My heart shattered when I knew those weren't the words he wanted to say, and it killed me even more with each of his footsteps that were furthering away. I slowly brought eyes to look at him, hoping that he would turn back around. However, he didn't. I was now left with a dying curiosity of what he wanted to say and a strong sense that wished he hadn't listened to me. 

 

~End of Chapter 29~

 

Author's Note: Once again, sorry for the very long delay and unintentional hiatus. I have tried multiple times to update the story and complete a chapter, but every time I failed because I didn't know where I wanted to go with the story anymore. However, I'm starting to pick things back up and hopefully this continues. Sorry again for the long delay!

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CSanWS
#1
Chapter 47: I love both yoongi and sehun. But damn can you just let her ended up with yoongi? After she had been dumped by Sehun, eventho i love him. I can’t.
Iheartren
#2
Chapter 47: I’m finally caught up I recent stumble your story the story so far it’s interesting and I can’t wait for the next update i wonder what is going to happened next, keep up the good work 😊
Sey-ra
38 streak #3
Chapter 47: Omo ,you came back.And for Aereum don't go to the same part again.
fishaelee
#4
Chapter 46: it’s quarter to 4am now and im finally catch up with the chapters! i must say that reading this fic is such having a ride on a roller coaster. at first with the break up of sehun and areum, the pain she felt and how badly everyone treated her... also yoongi’s side story too... im pretty sure there will be a triangle love happening in the future too xD
fishaelee
#5
Chapter 29: yesss areum did it. i hope there will be justice for yoongi soon
fishaelee
#6
Chapter 28: AREUM !!!! :((((
fishaelee
#7
Chapter 27: areum don’t u dare let him slip away like that-
fishaelee
#8
Chapter 16: and how sehun started dating irene, the girl who had been the anti of his previous relationship since day one? oh man i fking hate it here, tf did u just do sehun ah
fishaelee
#9
Chapter 16: okay i’ve suffered enough with the first 9 chapters and i am just so frustrated and my heart hurts so bad for what happened to areum. I CAN FEEL THE PAIN thru the words u wrote...
Sey-ra
38 streak #10
Chapter 42: Sorry but I am still frustrated with Aerum.