Chapter 2

With and Without Oh Sehun

My eyes were crying to be closed and rested while my brain was insisting to stare up at the ceiling of my room. I was tired, very tired. But how could I sleep when it's something that I haven't done properly for the last few months? How could I sleep when the day that I wish would never come was finally here?

Silence continued to ring through my ears as I looked up at the ceiling which oddly enough seemed to give me the only sense of comfort that I couldn't find anywhere else. It didn't have any colors or stains or textures of any sort. Just a plain white wall that I could stare at forever and feel nothing for a short amount of time. Laying in bed and doing nothing else but this was perhaps the only time where I felt safe and collected. 

It was until then where my sense of peace was interrupted by a loud ringing noise next to my ears, signaling that my time of comfort was officially over. I reached over to the side of my bed to turn off the alarm on my phone before taking another second or so to think to myself. 

I then sat up at the edge of my bed with my palms rested on it where I was now staring at myself in the long mirror right across from me. I began to feel a sense of pity for the girl who looked so lost, different, hopeless, and broken. Since when did I ever become like this? My eyes were puffed and bloated from the lack of sleep I was getting but also because of the countless tears I've been dropping.

I let out a deep breath as I thought about what today was and tried my best to not lose it and instead remain calm. If I couldn't stay calm down now, then how was I supposed to stay calm later? It was the first day of school. It was the first day of senior year. And it was the first day where I would have to face him again. So stay calm Han Areum. 

After getting myself ready and finally arriving at the place I for once dread to be at, I stayed in the car and watched students pass by with laughter and smile as they greeted their friends who they haven't seen throughout the summer break. 

"Will you be okay honey?" I turned and saw my mom staring at me with great amount of concern in her eyes. 

"Yeah, I'll be fine. See you later." I got out of the car with my backpack hanging on the side of my shoulder before slamming the door shut. No I wasn't okay. 

As I made my way through the front gate of the school, my shoulders began to narrow as I grabbed the straps to my backpack tighter. Everybody was staring at me and whispering words to their friends that I couldn't exactly make out, but the determination to stay strong from this morning was now starting to weaken as I picked out his name and the words 'break up' and 'dumped' within the same sentence. I continued my ways towards the building with my head down and bangs covering my face as if it made me invisible when really, it did the exact opposite. It wasn't just some random girl doing this but rather me.

I peeked my head around the corner when I finally made it inside towards my locker room. When I made sure that it was clear and the person I didn't want to see wasn't there, I sprinted with my bangs still hanging over my face. I quickly tried to open my locker, failing the first time before finally opening it the fourth time since I forgot how to open a locker like a stupid fool. It happened last year on the first day of school, except it didn't take me four tries because he was able to help me by the second time. But thinking of him was no good. 

I swung my locker door open, lucky enough that it didn't hit my face this time especially with how anxious I was starting to suddenly feel. I was here for not even a minute, but it felt like an hour already and I was afraid that he was going to show up any minute now. Did he by chance change his locker? One part of me hoped that he did so I wouldn't have to see his face everyday while another part deep inside wished that he didn't. As much as I didn't want to see him today nor ever, it would just kind of hurt if he went as far to change his locker because he found it uncomfortable to have it right next to his ex-girlfriend. It was kind of childish too. 

I took my backpack off my shoulder when my eyes finally laid upon the inside of my locker. I didn't think I had anything important in there since I cleaned it out before the end of the previous school year, but I was shocked to find more things in there than I remembered. I slowly brought my trembling hands to grab one of the items sitting in the front of my locker that I was positive wasn't there before. It was my owl plushie.

What was it doing here? The last place I remember seeing this was at Seh- The realization then hit me. 

It was a gift Sehun to gave me that he won at the fair last year. I told him a couple times that I thought it looked really cute and I've always wanted one of those, so he did whatever he could to win it in which he did and gave it to me. I must have forgot it in his car or something and always meant to get it back but eventually forgot about it. But for a moment I forgot this thing even existed before it suddenly appeared in my locker again.

If this was here, then what else was in my locker? I began to pick around and realized that these were things that I once gave to Sehun before as anniversary gifts, birthday gifts, random gifts, etc. And now they were all back in my locker. My heart began to tighten and tears began to make its way towards the edge of my eyes as I continued to look through the countless items in my locker that were once for Sehun. A sense of regret for telling him my locker number began to surface in me, not knowing that it would backfire on me someday like this. My hand was starting to move out of my control as I continued to rummage through my locker that I just wanted to burn and get out of my sight... Until something fell out onto the ground. 

I looked down in annoyance and frustration until I realized what it was that was now at my feet.... It was the other side to the necklace that would come together to form a heart with the other half that I have. I felt my chest tighten even more with tears now coming out from my eyes as I slowly bent down and picked it up. 

It was like a way for him to indirectly imply that we were officially over without speaking to me, as if I didn't already understand that 2 and a half months ago from that very night. 


"Why do you think he broke up with her?"

"I don't know, but it's about time. Sehun's way too out of her league."

"Maybe because she wasn't giving it to him good."

I tightened my fist and bit down on my lips as I tried my best to stay calm and not allow their words to get the best of me. This was what I was afraid to hear at school; why I dreaded for this day to come. I was scared and hated being the center of attention, and now everybody was staring at me while whispering to their friends. I just wanted to be alone and disappear from here, but of course that wasn't possible or else I would have been long gone. I just wanted everyone to mind their own business instead of asking the same questions that I've been asking myself for the last 2 months.

Just as I was starting to drain out the voices from around me, my ear was able to pick up the gasps and shrieks of girls, and by that time I already knew who entered the room. I yelled at myself to keep my head straight and not look because it would only hurt me, but my heart was saying otherwise to turn and look at his face that I have not seen in the longest time. As much as I hated him and wanted him out of my life, I was dying to see his face again and see if anything changed. Did he cut his hair like he said he would? Did he grow any taller?Was there any critical injury from practice? Speaking about practice, did he make it onto varsity?

Not being able to resist anymore because of the amount of "he looks so good with his new hair" or "Do you think I have a chance" that was spreading across the room, I turned my head towards the door where my eyes finally laid upon him. It's been about 2 months since I've last seen him that very night in front of the Han River where he broke it off, and I'd be lying if I said that I didn't miss him. In fact, I missed him so much that I didn't know what to do with myself or how to control my broken feelings. I wanted to just run to his house to get a glimpse of his face because of how much I missed his smirks and eyes. And as much as it hurt, it was as if my heart felt a sense of relief and was no longer suffocating when I finally saw the face that I've been yearning for.

There he was.

With his sports bag hanging on his side and his flat hair long gone. Entering the room with a calm look and hands in his pocket. I couldn't tell how my heart was feeling when I saw him walk through the doors. I hated him because of how he was able to let go of everything we have so easily while I was still struggling to cope with everything and move on. But at the same time, I noticed a skip in my heart beat when I laid eyes on the person who looked like a totally different person who I could find myself liking because of how handsome he looked. However, I forced myself to snap out of it and return to reality when I remembered he was my ex-boyfriend who dumped me so suddenly and seemed to be doing just fine as shown through his sudden makeover.

I quickly brought my eyes away when I realized that I was staring longer than I wanted to. A simple glimpse was all that I was supposed to take. My mouth became dry as I began to feel overwhelm with anxiety, knowing that my ex-boyfriend was sitting in the same row as me but on the complete opposite side of the room that was next to the door. I kept my face straight but could not bare the opportunity to keep it at a slight angle where I could see him at the corner of my eye. And for the next minute or so that I was doing this, I felt another tear to my heart when I counted the amount of times that he's turned to look at me or at least my direction- zero.

Did he not know that I was here? Was I completely invisible to him? Isn't he curious to see how I was doing like how I was of him? Doesn't he want to see how I'm doing so far after he suddenly called it quits?

After numerous hours of suffocating in class where we did nothing important but listen to our teacher talk about how we should enjoy our last year of high school but not slack off at the same time, I was the first to storm out of the room in order to avoid him and everybody else. I wanted to just get away whether it'd be locking myself in the restroom or running a lap around the track. As long as it was far away from Sehun where I wouldn't have to face him directly, but that determination didn't last long when I felt stifled by the smell of the girls' restroom that seemed like it hasn't been touched in years. It was also too hot to run around outside or even stay outside.

I slid down to the floor and sat in front of my locker with my legs spread straight out as I stared dejectedly in front of me. For sure Sehun wouldn't be here since he was most likely in the cafeteria with the rest of his friends. But for some odd reason, I couldn't understand why I was moving around the school like a total maniac instead of keeping still. I felt like I was missing something and I was not used to this feeling and atmosphere... Until I finally realized why.

This was my first time being alone at break and lunch without Sehun. For the last 3 years we spent our breaks and lunch together by hanging in the cafeteria with some of his friends or hanging outside where we could have time to ourselves and talk. He would talk to me about volleyball or tell his lame jokes that I seem to be the only one to love, and while doing this he would squeeze my hand tightly and even give me pecks on the cheeks. And despite seeing him everyday, I always felt my heart skip a beat whenever he smiled and giggled and his eyes lit up. And the way he would stare and smile at me, letting me know that I was the best thing he could ever ask for.

But now things were different and I could no longer see those things. I hated myself so much by this point because of how much I wanted to burn and forget him and tear him apart like how he did to me, but I couldn't because of the memories of him and us that I wasn't ready to let go of yet.

Just then, I heard someone clear their throat before continuing their footsteps that landed them just a few feet away from me. I stared at this person's shoes for a few seconds but I already knew who it was. What was he doing here? Shouldn't he be in the cafeteria?

I looked up and saw him looking at me in a way that caused chill to run down my spine. The way his sharp eyes was staring down at me made it seem like it could pierce through me any second now. It wasn't even that long ago where affection and joy was the only thing I ever saw in his eyes whenever he looked at me, but now I was seeing something totally different that I've never seen before.

For a moment, I wondered if he was even the Oh Sehun I was in love with for the past 3 years because he sure as heck did not look and feel that way towards me with the way he was staring.

~End of Chapter 2~

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CSanWS
#1
Chapter 47: I love both yoongi and sehun. But damn can you just let her ended up with yoongi? After she had been dumped by Sehun, eventho i love him. I can’t.
Iheartren
#2
Chapter 47: I’m finally caught up I recent stumble your story the story so far it’s interesting and I can’t wait for the next update i wonder what is going to happened next, keep up the good work 😊
Sey-ra
38 streak #3
Chapter 47: Omo ,you came back.And for Aereum don't go to the same part again.
fishaelee
#4
Chapter 46: it’s quarter to 4am now and im finally catch up with the chapters! i must say that reading this fic is such having a ride on a roller coaster. at first with the break up of sehun and areum, the pain she felt and how badly everyone treated her... also yoongi’s side story too... im pretty sure there will be a triangle love happening in the future too xD
fishaelee
#5
Chapter 29: yesss areum did it. i hope there will be justice for yoongi soon
fishaelee
#6
Chapter 28: AREUM !!!! :((((
fishaelee
#7
Chapter 27: areum don’t u dare let him slip away like that-
fishaelee
#8
Chapter 16: and how sehun started dating irene, the girl who had been the anti of his previous relationship since day one? oh man i fking hate it here, tf did u just do sehun ah
fishaelee
#9
Chapter 16: okay i’ve suffered enough with the first 9 chapters and i am just so frustrated and my heart hurts so bad for what happened to areum. I CAN FEEL THE PAIN thru the words u wrote...
Sey-ra
38 streak #10
Chapter 42: Sorry but I am still frustrated with Aerum.