Chapter 33

With and Without Oh Sehun

It was rather chilly tonight, but there was just something about the noises of the wind passing through and our feet dragging against the pavement that I found to be soothing. Or maybe, maybe, for the first time it felt like Yoongi had open up a little more. He and I were almost walking side by side, except he was only a few inches behind me. Still, it was different. He was carrying the bag of pastries I had bought at the shop earlier but it wasn't because I asked him to. He actually grabbed it as we were leaving and has been holding on to it since.

My eyes remained on my feet and the silence continued. For whatever reason, this night felt different; it was different. For the first time ever I wanted to actually hold a conversation with Yoongi. For the amount of time that we've been having to spend together, I thought it was about time we stopped surrounding ourselves with silence. But just what do we talk about? We had nothing in common, or at least I don't think we did. But how would I know that if we rarely even talk.

A million questions and topics raced through my head, but perhaps I was spending more time thinking about concentrating on my thinking that I wasn't actually thinking about a topic. Now I was panicking a little on trying to start a conversation. However, to my surprise it was his voice that broke the silence. 

"Do you - "

I turned to look at him and saw a face filled with hesitation, as if his words were hanging at the tip of his tongue but unable to let go. His eyes were avoiding mines and looking at the ground. 

"Do you . . . want to visit Jin with me . . . tomorrow?"

I was taken aback by this sudden question. Not because I had a problem with it, but because of the fact that Yoongi was asking me. "Y-yeah. I'd like to," I replied in a soft tone. 

"Tomorrow after school then?"

"That works."

A sense of relief and even happiness surfaced in me. It was shocking yet very nice that he asked me. I then realized that this was the perfect opportunity.

"When was the last time you visited him?"

"I'm not too sure, but it's been a while."

"I'm sure he understands. You've been busy with school and everything else."

A subtle smile appeared on Yoongi's face. "Hopefully."

The silence continued once again and the sense of relief remained inside me. This was nice. And so the silence continued once again and a sense of relief overcame me. It was still shocking yet nice that he asked me. As we continued strolling up the road, I was surprised to suddenly see his body align with mines. To be more exact, a width of his shoulder was a few inches in front of mines. 

"Are you meeting with someone?" He suddenly asked.

I looked towards my house and saw a dark figure standing outside in front of the gate. No, I certainly wasn't expecting anyone at all and I was sure that wasn't my mom or dad either. As we approached closer, my heart started to beat rapidly when small features that only I would be able to notice started to reveal itself. 

Sehun's face turned to look at us first before he stood up straight and put his phone in his back pocket. I wasn't sure if it was just my bad eyesight or the darkness, but the light illuminating into his face showed what looked like an unpleasant surprise. 

"Hey Sehun, what are you doing here?" I asked. 

"I wanted to just talk for a bit." His eyes darted quickly between Yoongi and me. "But it looks like you're busy."

A realization and a deep unsettling feeling overcame me. Sehun and Yoongi. Nothing good ever happened whenever they were in the same radius of each other. Nothing. And it made me even more nervous when I didn't know how they interacted during the time I was gone. Any fights or arguments? Or did they stay clear of one another?

At that same moment, Yoongi turned around to face me."Here." He was holding the bag of pastries out to me and I could feel another pair of eyes staring intensively at us. For whatever reason, I was a little panicked by the thought that there could be a misunderstanding. 

I took the bag from Yoongi's hand and he immediately started walking back down the road that we came from. "See you tomorrow," I called, which felt a little odd to say since he and I never said bye or anything when we go our own ways. But it just felt like the proper thing to say in this awkward situation. 

When I thought I delayed enough, I took my time in turning around to face Sehun. My heart was still beating fast. Couldn't there have been a warning or something that he was going to be here? 

"So what's up? Is everything okay?" I tried to ask as casually as possible. 

"I texted you but I'm guessing you didn't see it. It looks like I was interrupting your date," Sehun said with a laugh, but there was just something off about that laugh and statement. 

"Uhm what? We're not dating," I quickly corrected. I then took out my phone and saw that he had indeed texted me half an hour ago.

"It's fine if you both are dating. Just be careful with him," Sehun said. "I guess you really changed your type."

Joking or not, I wasn't feeling this joke. I knew there was something more behind his tone of voice that he was trying to hide with the laugh. "We're not dating. So please don't mention it again or to anyone," I said in a semi stern voice but also not meant to come off as too serious. 

"Oh, sorry I was just joking," he smirked. His eyes suddenly widened as he looked at my hands "Wait, are those from the bakery shop we used to always go to? Do they still have my favorite cookies?" he asked as he reached forward and grabbed the bag from me. 

"Yeah I quickly stopped by earlier before coming home. I didn't get the peanut butter cookies that you like though."

"Damn that . I've been craving for those a lot lately. Maybe we can go tomorrow? I kind of want to say hi to the bakery lady too," he said as he stuffed one of the pastries down his throat. 

We could go tomorrow? "Hey! That's mine," I scowled.

"Sorry! I'll buy you some tomorrow, but oh man! These tastes so much better than I remembered!" He moaned with a full mouth.

There was just something off about what he was saying. Something so subtle that probably wouldn't mean anything to anyone else, but to me it was just weird. However I decided to ignore it again. "So what are you doing here again?" I asked as I took the bag back. 

"Just wanted to chat and see how you were doing."

"Oh, uh. I'm doing better. Much better."

"That's good to hear then. I was just going to text you but I thought it'd be better to see it myself." A small smile appeared on his face and he directed his eyes to look at mines. They looked soft and sincere.

My heart felt a drop and it was beating faster than ever. I couldn't really understand what this all meant nor did I want to lead myself down that road. However, there was just something about that innocent smile and eyes that caused this weird feeling to form in my stomach. I wasn't exactly comfortable with it but there wasn't enough time for me to question this entire interaction. Before I could respond, he started again.

"I know our whole breakup might make things a little awkward between us, but just know that I'll always be here. So if you need someone to talk to or if you need help then you could always call me."

"Thanks, I appreciate it," I said. I was taken off guard by this and wasn't sure how to exactly feel or respond.  

"I'm serious Reum. Call me next time something bad happens." 

His eyes. There was just a spark in it that told me he was being serious and the odd feeling in my stomach turned even more. 

"Well you're probably tired so I'll stop bothering you now. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Get home safely," I said as we waved one last time to each other before he walked down the road into the darkness. I then forced myself to turn around and go inside because for some reason, I knew a little part of me was dying to have him turn around and continue the conversation.

I got myself ready for the rest of the night and couldn't get that short interaction with Sehun off my mind. So many questions, so many wanted answers, and so many analyzations of every single word that came out from his mouth. He came all the way to my house to visit me? Was he basically implying that we both go to the bakery tomorrow together? Was Sehun just being friendly and caring, or was there something more? First with him comforting me when I broke down. Next with him coming over to see how I was doing when he didn't have to. Now with him implying that we go somewhere together?

As these questions were running through my head, a sudden thought daunted my head and it felt like my heart dropped. Tomorrow was 12/12 - what would have been our 4 year anniversary. I swallowed hard and tried to get rid of the thought but I couldn't. One side of me couldn't help but wonder if that was the reason why Sehun came to visit me or has been acting like this overall. But it can't be. I doubt he'd even care or remember. Then a sudden sense of sadness overfilled me. What would have been our 4 year anniversary. 

One year ago when we were celebrating our anniversary, the thought never occurred to me that we'd never celebrate our fourth. How naive I was back then. I shook my head and turned my lights off for the night. You have been doing good so far, Areum, even if things have been difficult for the past few months. Don't let yourself fall back into a vulnerable place again. 

End of Chapter 33 

 


Author's note: I know it's been a very long time since I've updated this, and if you even get to this point of reading this note then I sincerely thank you. I started this fanfic when I was still young and in my fanfic teenage phase, but now I'm a lot older with other interests and hobbies. However, I always find myself coming back to this story every once in a while because it holds a place in my heart. I've attempted to write more chapters and eventually complete it, but I feel so out of loop and eventually lose motivation.

I will either complete this story OR may just summarize all the key points and ending into one chapter that I envisioned so at least the readers have some sort of closure.

Thanks again!

 

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CSanWS
#1
Chapter 47: I love both yoongi and sehun. But damn can you just let her ended up with yoongi? After she had been dumped by Sehun, eventho i love him. I can’t.
Iheartren
#2
Chapter 47: I’m finally caught up I recent stumble your story the story so far it’s interesting and I can’t wait for the next update i wonder what is going to happened next, keep up the good work 😊
Sey-ra
38 streak #3
Chapter 47: Omo ,you came back.And for Aereum don't go to the same part again.
fishaelee
#4
Chapter 46: it’s quarter to 4am now and im finally catch up with the chapters! i must say that reading this fic is such having a ride on a roller coaster. at first with the break up of sehun and areum, the pain she felt and how badly everyone treated her... also yoongi’s side story too... im pretty sure there will be a triangle love happening in the future too xD
fishaelee
#5
Chapter 29: yesss areum did it. i hope there will be justice for yoongi soon
fishaelee
#6
Chapter 28: AREUM !!!! :((((
fishaelee
#7
Chapter 27: areum don’t u dare let him slip away like that-
fishaelee
#8
Chapter 16: and how sehun started dating irene, the girl who had been the anti of his previous relationship since day one? oh man i fking hate it here, tf did u just do sehun ah
fishaelee
#9
Chapter 16: okay i’ve suffered enough with the first 9 chapters and i am just so frustrated and my heart hurts so bad for what happened to areum. I CAN FEEL THE PAIN thru the words u wrote...
Sey-ra
38 streak #10
Chapter 42: Sorry but I am still frustrated with Aerum.