Chapter 20

With and Without Oh Sehun

**Be sure to read the author's note at the end of this chapter before moving on or else you'll be confused**



I laid on my bed with my arms spread wide open as I heaved a deep breath. Although there was no clock near me, it felt as if I could hear one ticking. It just goes on to show how much I was paying attention to time since after all, the day that I've been anxiously waiting for was going to be here. Quite funny, if now was the appropriate time to describe it as that. It felt as if it was just last week where I was able to convince myself to stay calm and keep my mind off my surgery, but now it was impossible to do that with it only being a few days away.

I was now staring up at the ceiling, being reminded of the calmness that it once filled me with during my deepest worries and troubles. How long has it been since the last time I relied on the roof on top of my head to secure me a sense of calmness and peace? I was also quite relief to know that it still had an effect on me, especially since I needed about anything to take away my anxiety and worries at the moment. I just hoped it continued to work when I returned. 

Just then, a slight sense of irritation erupted in me when my door abruptly opened and my dad's head poked through the crack. Does he not know how to knock?

"Honey. Someone's here to see you,"

See... Me? Someone's here to see me?

I threw on whatever jacket I could find laying on the ground before heading downstairs to greet my visitors. As I was making my way down, my ears twitched to the sound of familiar voices that I have not heard from for a while now. Was it who I think it was? Even if it was, what were they doing here? I kept my eyes locked on wherever the voices were coming from as I allowed my legs to go at whatever pace it pleased. It can't be them, I continued in my head. But, I was wrong. It was them. 

"Good, you're finally here Areum. Prepare some warm water while I fix up some snacks," ordered my mom before I could even properly greet my guests, or better yet, get a good look at them to confirm my doubts. 

"No don't worry about it," Sehun's mom waved her hand. "I just came to pay Areum a quick visit before her surgery."

My surgery? How did she know about it? 

"Oh stop it. It's been a while since we've last seen each other. We should at least catch up." My mom then scurried to the kitchen with delight, leaving the unexpected guests with me. 

I took a moment to ask myself what was happening and why she was here, but quickly came to remember that my mom left the guests with me. "Hello," I politely greeted with a bow. 

She shot me a warm smile and had open to talk, but before she could, she was interrupted by the little one who wrapped her arms tightly around my waist. "Unnie!"

"Hi Siyeon." I said with a bright smile as I patted her head. I seem to always forget that she was here despite how much she's grown.

After the warm tea and small snack was prepared, the moms sat on the dinner table while Siyeon and I sat on the living room floor to do something that we have not done for a while now. 

"Her name is Princess Ella. I got her as a birthday present!" She waved the barbie doll that was dressed in an elegant looking dress at me. 

"She's pretty!" I replied. "But who do you think is prettier? Me or Princess Ella?" Yeah, I was being quite childish but couldn't resist asking. 

"You of course." Her squinted eyes and missing tooth from her smile was enough to convince me that she meant it. 

I let out a proud smirk as I felt a boost in my self-esteem. I was still her favorite after all. Of course. We resumed to playing princess with the barbie dolls that she brought over; however, there was something that I couldn't resist doing in the meantime.

"So how's Sehun doing? Has any colleges scouted him yet for volleyball?" my mom asked while setting her mug onto the table. 

I stopped whatever I was doing at that very moment, as if there was some automatic stop system inside me whenever his name was mentioned. Unable to resist the urge any longer after a silence that filled the room for a split second, I turned to look at the moms. The silence wasn't exactly long where many centuries passed by, but rather long to the point where you wonder why someone would take so long to just talk about their son. 

"He's- Doing well," she started with noticeable pauses in between her words. "He's already been scouted by a few, but we're planning to wait before deciding on one." 

I would have so easily moved on and give my fullest attention back to Siyeon after those words, but I couldn't help but notice her odd smile, as if there was perhaps uncertainty in it. She went on to fidget with the handle of the mug before grabbing it to place her lips on the rim; except only, it was obvious that she didn't drink the tea- not even the slightest bit. 

"How about Areum? How's her back doing?" If I wasn't wrong, it sounded like she was in a bit of a rush. But for what reason? I had no idea.

Now that she mentioned me, it brought me back to the question of how she found out about my surgery. Judging by my mom's previous words, it didn't look like she was the one who told her, and it most definitely wasn't my dad since he was never the type to inform anybody about such a thing unless they were very close friends or relatives. It's just- how does someone, who I do not keep in touch with anymore, find out about my surgery? It's not like my parents and I went splattering it out to everyone. I then brought my attention back to Siyeon who was still playing dress-up with Princess Ella and the others, but I quickly kicked the thought out of my head. Come on Han Areum. Why did you even think about asking an 8 year old? 

After an hour of the moms catching up while I played princess with Siyeon to make up for my months of absence, my mom said her goodbyes first and left it to me to do the rest. I walked Siyeon and her mom to the door as I thought about what to do. Would it be rude to ask her how she found out about my surgery? What am I saying? Of course it's rude-

"Good luck on your surgery, and rest well. Don't worry too much about it. You'll be fine. My sister had the same surgery and she turned out to be just fine, or perhaps even better."

I let out a smile because of how much it reassured me, oddly enough. I then felt a pair of arms wrap tightly around me before the owner waved her goodbyes and ran out the door. With just the two of us left, I bowed and thanked her for her visit. Even though I still thought it was weird how she knew about my surgery, I was still thankful since she was the only one who came to pay a visit. She let out a warm and motherly smile before slowly making her exit out the door. With my guests now gone, I was headed back to bed to rest like I was told so by my doctors; with of course, the question instilled into my mind. 


I stood by the door and took a moment to look at the view of my room that I had just finished tidying up not too long ago. I wasn't sure how to feel at this moment. All of my feelings were piling up into one as I thought about having to leave my room for a good month and a half before returning. As much as I wanted to turn back in time in order to allow myself more time to prepare for this, I knew that it wouldn't make any difference. I then felt my heartbeat fasten when I heard my mom's call from downstairs. It was time to leave to the hospital. 

On the way there, I repeated many times of what Sehun's mom said the previous night- that her sister turned out just fine after receiving the same surgery. Although it was just a surgery for my back, I was still afraid. I don't exactly know why though. I guess just this whole thought of a surgery itself sort of scared me. But everything will be okay, right? I wasn't sure of what to expect despite my doctor and parents who reassured me multiple times that there was nothing to be nervous about, but that's their job isn't it? Or maybe I was just overthinking. Maybe I will be fine. 

I spent the next 2 days resting in the hospital and doing last minute checkups and procedures before the surgery. And before I knew it, the moment that I've been anxiously waiting for was finally here. 

I was now being wheeled in to the room where my surgery was going to take place, and it might be best to tell you that as I'm saying this, I'm starting to slowly lose my consciousness. I can feel my eyes blinking slowly as I'm being overtaken by a sudden strong sense of sleepiness, and now I'm starting to see more darkness than the bright lights reflecting from the tile floors. One moment I can see a clear view of the nurses' feet wheeling me in, but the next they have become a blurred picture. 

I'm still anxious and scared as always despite how much sense I'm losing, but I couldn't help but think of this in a symbolic way. I'm not going to literally be a different person once the surgery is over, but it will definitely help me to do more. I won't have to suffer any longer with this bad back of mines. However, I was also thinking of this whole process in another way. Once I enter through those doors, I can think of it as a way to let go of everything and become a new person. Perhaps someone better, if you get where I'm going with this. And when I exit those doors, I'll be a changed person. Yeah, it indeed sounds corny and cliche to say, but it was the only thing that could calm myself down and have something to look forward to while I'm still barely conscious. 

With what seemed like a century that had pass by, I took one last blink before I no longer had the strength to open my eyes. And with that, I heard the doors come to a shut. 

 

~End of Chapter 20~



Author's Note: For the next few chapters, it is important to know that there will be CHANGES on how the story will be told in order to mix things up a bit. I thought it would be nice to try something new. 

1.) The story will be told in 3rd person view, meaning we will not be reading from Areum's perspective. 

2.) We will be returning to the past. (Aren't you curious about how Sehun and Areum came to be? :3)

3.) The chapters will be like fillers, but they are relevant to the story. 

I'm doing this in order to "fill" in the time while Areum's surgery is taking place, but realistically, I just thought it would be weird if I ended this chapter with Areum going into surgery and then starting the next chapter with her waking up from it. Once the filler chapters are done, the story will resume where everything falls back into place (1st person view and present day). 

So please don't get mixed up or confused! I hope you readers are okay with it. :)

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Comments

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CSanWS
#1
Chapter 47: I love both yoongi and sehun. But damn can you just let her ended up with yoongi? After she had been dumped by Sehun, eventho i love him. I can’t.
Iheartren
#2
Chapter 47: I’m finally caught up I recent stumble your story the story so far it’s interesting and I can’t wait for the next update i wonder what is going to happened next, keep up the good work 😊
Sey-ra
38 streak #3
Chapter 47: Omo ,you came back.And for Aereum don't go to the same part again.
fishaelee
#4
Chapter 46: it’s quarter to 4am now and im finally catch up with the chapters! i must say that reading this fic is such having a ride on a roller coaster. at first with the break up of sehun and areum, the pain she felt and how badly everyone treated her... also yoongi’s side story too... im pretty sure there will be a triangle love happening in the future too xD
fishaelee
#5
Chapter 29: yesss areum did it. i hope there will be justice for yoongi soon
fishaelee
#6
Chapter 28: AREUM !!!! :((((
fishaelee
#7
Chapter 27: areum don’t u dare let him slip away like that-
fishaelee
#8
Chapter 16: and how sehun started dating irene, the girl who had been the anti of his previous relationship since day one? oh man i fking hate it here, tf did u just do sehun ah
fishaelee
#9
Chapter 16: okay i’ve suffered enough with the first 9 chapters and i am just so frustrated and my heart hurts so bad for what happened to areum. I CAN FEEL THE PAIN thru the words u wrote...
Sey-ra
38 streak #10
Chapter 42: Sorry but I am still frustrated with Aerum.