Chapter 3

With and Without Oh Sehun

The first thing I wanted to do when I got home was crawl into my bed and stay there for the rest of the evening. I didn't want to talk to or face anyone. I really just wanted to be alone although it's been something that I've been wanting for a while now and have been receiving. But just like this morning, my mom didn't seem to grasp that understanding. 

"How was school honey?" she asked while sitting down on the dinner table and looking at the bills. 

"Fine." I shortly replied with a small groan, hoping she would understand that I didn't want to talk about it. 

But just like before, she stopped whatever she was doing to look at me. "If something's bothering you then we need to talk about it Ah. Holding it in isn't going to make things any better." 

No. It really can actually. I stopped by the bottom of the staircase with my hand on the handrail and annoyance slowly picking up in me. 

"I know you're still hurt about Sehun and I'm sorry dear. It's a shame that things had to end and he doesn't realize what he lost, but holding it in is only going to make it worst."

I bit down my lip in order to stop myself from breaking down in front of my mom. Sure she was asking me to talk to her about my feelings and everything that's been happening so far, and I really did want to do it and let everything out, but I felt like I would only cry out nonsense because of how broken and lost I was about everything and my own feelings. Instead I shrugged my shoulder. "I'm perfectly fine mom. It's already been 2 months. I know better than to cry and worry myself over a boy." I then walked up the stairs without taking a look at my mom while trying my best to not sniff or show any sign about how I was really feeling until I got into my room. 

I wasted no time to slam my door shut and lock it before jumping onto my bed and drowning my face with my blanket. I tried my best to not let out a sob as I held back the choke of sadness and misery crawling around in my throat. I really didn't know what to do with myself anymore. I hated him with every one of my guts. I wanted to punch him so he can feel the same pain that I was feeling. I wanted to spit at his face and curse at him nonstop for doing this to me . . .  all because of how fine and well he looked today when I came across him. No sense of regret or remorse on his face for what he did. Acting as if he didn't know me or we never had a healthy 3 year relationship that could have been 4 within a few months. 

But what was the point of hating him when I'm the one doing this to myself. Although it would be hard, I could be burning all of our pictures and memories right at this moment. I could be finding hobbies or activities to keep myself busy and distracted from this whole thing. I could be studying and working hard in order to get into a good college, but yet here I was wanting to make him suffer when I sure as heck know that I would accept him right away if he ever came back crawling on his knees. 

I just had a hard time grasping the reality that we were offically over, still hoping that one of these days I would wake up from a nightmare, or he would hug me tightly from the back and chuckle that everything was a lie. I still couldn't understand how he could so easily move on which made me wonder if our relationship was ever serious to him. How do you spend 3 years with someone you've come to cherish and like so much and then wake up the next morning and feel like it was time to go separate ways? 

Just then, my tears and thoughts was interrupted by a vibration in my pocket. I took my phone out and looked to see who was calling, and immediately my heart began to beat fast with confusion and shock filling my mind. 

Why was Sehun calling me?

I continued to stare at my phone, wondering if he just mistakenly called me and was going to stop any second now. But much to my discomfort, my phone continued to ring with his call. I nervously gulped as I thought about what to say or do. But to be more exact, what did he want to say?

My hand was starting to tremble as I moved it towards the answer option. One half of me was hoping that he would end the call right at this moment before I could answer, but the other half was hoping that he wouldn't. A delusional thought began to fill my mind within the few seconds that I had to pick up his call, thinking that he wanted to apologize and talk everything out. Maybe he wanted to ask for another chance after he realized his dumb mistake. Maybe he realized how important I was to him in the end. 

"Hello?" I finally answered with an unstable voice. I was expecting to hear his voice that's come to comfort me all these years. However, I heard something else that did not sound familiar to me at all but rather odd and unusual.

I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion as I heard faint chuckles along with other static and background noises. I sure as heck know that Sehun's voice didn't become high pitched and squeaky over the course of 2 months. It was obvious that whoever this person was that was on the other line, it was not the person I had hoped it to be or the owner to the phone. It was not until a few seconds later where I finally heard the familiar voice.

"What are you doing?" he scorned. 

But before I could ask what was going on and why "he" called me, the line cut off and ended. I continued to remain still as I thought about what just happened within the course of 30 seconds or less. My blank mind tried its best to block out the negative thoughts, but it was unable to because of the confusion, misguided thoughts, curiosity, disappointment, sadness and disconsolation in me.

In the end, I was wrong. He didn't call to ask for forgiveness and another chance. In fact, as much as it hurted to swallow down the truth, he wasn't even the one who called at all. Whatever just happened, someone else had his phone. And who was this someone? I wasn't all too sure. Or maybe I was but just didn't want to accept it. 


I wondered how long it was going to take until I got used to the daily life things that I usually did with Sehun. It was quite lonesome on the bus ride to school where it felt weird sitting by myself or next to a total stranger. Not to mention that break and lunch seemed much longer, especially since I was alone now and didn't have any friends.

Speaking about friends, I came to a late realization that I failed to make any (besides Sehun's friends but not sure if they even count anymore) or any good ones throughout the years I've been in high school. I always had this thought that I didn't need any since I would be spending the majority of my time with Sehun and he was all I really needed. But with that thought came with another that we were going last through high school and clearly that didn't happen. I guess with how happy I was with him, I just naturally thought that we were going to make it together through high school. I mean I knew that we weren't going to last forever until the end, but I just never thought that we were going to end before we could graduate, or better yet, even start out senior year.

But back to the question of how long it was going to take me to get used to all of this, I wanted to just skip to that day where I would be able to do it with ease. I'm guessing 1-2 months from now because that's how long it took me to get used to waking up every morning without his calls or texts, or going to sleep without any goodnight calls or texts. And since I'm still breathing to tell you this, then I was probably going to survive and make it through all of this. It was just going to require time and I was okay with that. As long as it healed my broken heart by that time.

When I finally arrived at school and was making my way to my locker, I held my head up high but not so high since I was still afraid and lost. If I was able to make it through school (somewhat) easier than I have expected for the last 2 days, then I could make it through again. Sure my heart still jumped and ached whenever I saw Sehun in class, but I never had another close encounter with him like on the first day in front of our lockers. I guess we have somehow made a schedule of our own of what time we could go to our lockers without having to cross path. I usually went right away after arriving at school or after lunch and took no more than 5 minutes to gather all of my things, and I don't know the exact time he would go to his. Maybe he could be waiting on other other side of the corner until I left. Who knows. But whatever it was that was preventing us from facing each other at our lockers, I only hoped it continued.

However, I guess I was wrong about this whole schedule thing because not even a minute after I opened my locker did I hear a crackling sound of something opening next to me. I kept my face straight and stared into my locker because I hadn't expect for him to show up so suddenly. I know it's stupid to say since his locker is right next to mines and he has every right to come and go as he please, but I seriously thought we were on a schedule.

Realizing that I was standing in front of my locker and staring into it like a stupid fool, I quickly began to transfer things from my backpack to my locker. And while doing so, I could not resist the urge to catch a glimpse of what he was doing at the corner of my eye. After all, I was still curious about his well being although he probably didn't care about mines. But there was also something else that I wanted to ask him but have been stopping myself by biting down on my tongue. Why did he call me that night, and whose voice was that?

From that very night until now, I have been constantly replaying the phone call in my head so much that I was starting to wonder if it even took place at all or if I was the one to actually call him without realizing it. But I couldn't help it because of how bothered I was by that other voice I heard. I refused to allow myself to say that word or let it get to my brain because it would only cause me to be more distraught than I already was, but my throat was forcing myself to say it since I already knew it deep inside.

.... That unfamiliar yet familiar voice... Belonged to a girl. I already confirmed that it wasn't his mom's or his younger sister's or else I wouldn't even be thinking about this. They had distinct voices and plus, his mom had no reason to talk to me anymore since her son and I were no longer a thing. As for his younger sister, sure she liked me a lot and always wanted me to come over and play doll with her, but Sehun's probably told her in a way for her to understand that we were no longer like Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse.

Not being able to stop myself anymore because of the growing and undying curiosity, I slightly turned to look at him and inhaled a breath and even saw him flinch a little. But before words could even leave my mouth, I was interrupted by familiar voices that I have not heard for a while now.

"Yo Sehun! My man!" Chanyeol yelled as he smacked Sehun on the back. "Welcome to varsity bro!"

I could not help but snicker because of the way he was congratulating his same age friend onto the varsity team that he's been on ever since freshmen year only because of his tower like height. But wait. Varsity...? So Sehun did make it onto the team.

Sehun let out a small embarrassed chuckle who was probably thinking the same thing as me since we've talked about it before. Chanyeol wasn't the best or worst, but anybody could land on varsity if his level of skills was the requirement. "Thanks."

Just then, I felt a sudden chill run down my spine because of the quietness that I have just come to notice. Sure I've come to like quietness, but this wasn't the good kind and rather one that I detested. It felt as if there was a sudden energy of heavy force around me as the silence continued, and I knew it was coming from their stares at me and each other. Why did I feel like an unwelcomed guest at a party?

This was the first time where I hated every one of his friends who I used to hangout with and be on good terms with. They were funny, nice, loud, and crazy people, and I was glad that Sehun surrounded himself with people like them. But the thing that they still haven't improved on was their manners. Their constant stares was really unncessary and really uncomfortable.

"Hi Areum." I heard one of them say, but it wasn't in a friendly way. It was more like a forced one because I was their friend's ex-girlfriend and our lockers were still next to each other so if they wanted to see their friend then they were going to have to face me too. And they wondered if they should say hi or something but at the same time was hesitant to because the only reason why we knew or talked to each other was because of Sehun, and the chances that we'll be holding a conversation again after this was highly unlikely. But since I already made it obvious that I was listening to their conversation by staring into my locker without moving a hand or muscle, they found that the only way to wake me up was through a hi.

"Hi," I stuttered like a fool as I slightly turned my head but not all the way to look at them directly. I wasn't ready to reveal to myself what the expressions on their faces were. A small heave of relief then came out when they went back to continuing their conversation, and I took this as a chance to close my locker and exit from their bubble that I was taking space of although wanted no part in.

But before I could officially turn the corner and head up the stairs, I felt another part of my heart tear again.

"You're coming to my house party tomorrow right?" Chanyeol asked.

"Yeah I'll be there," Sehun replied.

 

~End of Chapter 3~

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CSanWS
#1
Chapter 47: I love both yoongi and sehun. But damn can you just let her ended up with yoongi? After she had been dumped by Sehun, eventho i love him. I can’t.
Iheartren
#2
Chapter 47: I’m finally caught up I recent stumble your story the story so far it’s interesting and I can’t wait for the next update i wonder what is going to happened next, keep up the good work 😊
Sey-ra
38 streak #3
Chapter 47: Omo ,you came back.And for Aereum don't go to the same part again.
fishaelee
#4
Chapter 46: it’s quarter to 4am now and im finally catch up with the chapters! i must say that reading this fic is such having a ride on a roller coaster. at first with the break up of sehun and areum, the pain she felt and how badly everyone treated her... also yoongi’s side story too... im pretty sure there will be a triangle love happening in the future too xD
fishaelee
#5
Chapter 29: yesss areum did it. i hope there will be justice for yoongi soon
fishaelee
#6
Chapter 28: AREUM !!!! :((((
fishaelee
#7
Chapter 27: areum don’t u dare let him slip away like that-
fishaelee
#8
Chapter 16: and how sehun started dating irene, the girl who had been the anti of his previous relationship since day one? oh man i fking hate it here, tf did u just do sehun ah
fishaelee
#9
Chapter 16: okay i’ve suffered enough with the first 9 chapters and i am just so frustrated and my heart hurts so bad for what happened to areum. I CAN FEEL THE PAIN thru the words u wrote...
Sey-ra
38 streak #10
Chapter 42: Sorry but I am still frustrated with Aerum.