Trip to Japan

Myungsoo booked an early flight to Japan the next day. We arrived at the Incheon Airport first thing in the morning, fifteen minutes before seven.

I was still in a bad mood as when we entered the plane because Donghae never beeped my phone for exactly 24 hours. I didn’t know if he just forgot to do it or he really meant to that to avoid my questions.

Myungsoo let me occupied the seat near to the window as he sat next to me. We didn’t talk to each other from the time he fetch me at my abode until in the plane.  I took a quick look at him and he just smiled at me as he tucked the earphones inside his ears and his iPod. I smiled lopsidedly in return before pivoting away my gaze.

At exactly seven in the morning, the plane had taken off. I leaned my back and closed my eyes, forcing myself to take a quick nap. But sleepiness never crossed me. My eyes were closed, but my mind was actively thinking of Donghae who didn’t bother replying my tenth message I sent him first thing in the morning when I woke up with the same question of “Where are you right now?”

I should get used to it. I should get used of him rejecting me or I should get used to him not giving me enough attention. But though he done the same thing over and over again, I’d still hope that for a short period of time or at least for second, he would think of me and spend at least an hour or two beside me like we used to do before.

“You’ll get crazy if you don’t stop thinking about him,” Myungsoo said as he patted my shoulder.

I opened an eye while the other is still closed and looked at him. “I’m not thinking about him!” I yelled that drew much attention from other passengers. “Oops…I’m so sorry…” I slowly stood up from my seat and lowered my head.

“You’re really in a bad mood. Shall we have a short walk first once we get there?” He asked, turning off his IPod.

“I’m fine…I will just some rest then.”

“Okay. By the way, we will be staying in a certain hotel with the other participants from other countries.”

“Are we going to stay and share on one room?”

“I guess not.”

“You’re not that sure, aren’t you?” I raised an eyebrow.

“Well, I still need to confirm it as the accommodation is not properly explained on the invitation.”

I let out a long and heavy sigh before pouting my lips.

--

DONGHAE’S POV:

“What the hell are you thinking huh, Tiffany?” I squalled as I jumped off the bed.

“Come on, Hae. I know you miss me. You won’t be here if you didn’t miss me.” She cupped my face and kissed me on my lips.

After I gave Jessica a drive to her office, Tiffany called me up saying that she will be in Japan for a week to visit a good friend of her. She asked me to meet her there or else she will be going to Seoul instead in Japan to meet me. She was pathetically insane to blame me just like that that I couldn’t say no.

And though it pained me to leave Jessica again without an acceptable excuse, I left the country.

When I arrived there we stayed together in the hotel she booked for herself. In the afternoon, I accompanied her to visit the so called friend she was mentioning to me the whole time. Her circle of friends went to clubbing and we joined them.

We drunk to death the whole night and when we got in to her hotel, I fell into temptation and committed another sin to Jessica. I felt satisfied when I’m with Tiffany. She gave me more than enough of a man’s pleasure. I love Tiffany, but I love Jessica more than her that if one would ask me who wanted to be with for the rest of my life, I would proudly shout to the world Jessica’s name.

But am I still worthy of the love she’s giving me?

Am I still worth her heart?

I’ve been back stabbing my girlfriend. I’ve been lying to her. I’ve been unfaithful, yet I never mentioned this to her. There’s no need to mention this to her, I would only hurt her and break her heart. And I wouldn’t forgive myself for doing such thing to her.

Jessica is the most precious to me, more than anything else. But why did I let myself to committing such sinful act?

“Hey,” she said catching my attention.

I looked at Tiffany’s face with guiltiness stabbing me all over my body.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” she queried, tangling her arms around my neck.

“Can we just stop this? Can we just stop seeing each other? My guiltiness is killing me.” I held his wrist tightly that it would crush any moment.

“I won’t let you go. You’re mine as I am yours. And if your guiltiness is killing you, then let go of Jessica and be with me,” she said in gritted teeth.

--

It was past 12 noon when we arrived at the hotel. I was feeling totally sleepy. Myungsoo was still having a conversation with the receptionist about the room reserved for us. The issue was there was only room for the both of us—meaning we will be in one room for the next three days and that was crazy. How could I sleep with him in one bed? If Donghae would know about it, that will be another misunderstanding and another fight between us. And I hated the thought of it. So, Myungsoo was trying his best to clear the issue.

I was standing beside him while we waited for the receptionist final verification of the available rooms. I was busy roaming my eyes around the beautiful vicinity. Myungsoo on the other hand was busy talking into someone over the phone. He distanced himself for quite a moment and when he came back, he stood beside me without a word. Our shoulders were pasted on each other.

His head was moving from left to right and then from right to left as if looking for someone in particular, “Donghae?” he said in a fainted voice.

“Did you just say something?” I said with a creased forehead.

“I just thought I saw Donghae around.”

I checked the area upon hearing it. My eyes wandered around the area, looking straight to the face of the people that passed us by but no to avail. I didn’t see Donghae even the tip of his fingers.

“Tch! You’re crazy, buddy! Donghae won’t be here. What will he do here then?” I raised a brow while crossing my hands over my chest.

“Fine! Maybe I'm just rapt.”

“Excuse me Sir, Ma’am,” the receptionist said and we turned to face her. “There’s really no available room at the moment. I am very sorry.” An apologetic façade registered in the face of the receptionist.

“Is that so? But can you reserve a room for me when a room become available within 24 hours?

“Yes, Sir. We will inform you immediately.”

“Thanks then.”

“You’re welcome, Sir.”

The receptionist handed the key to the attendant who will accompany us to our room. Once we got in our room, I quickly checked for the bed. Myungsoo placed my luggage near the bed and spoke, “Occupy the bed, I’ll be fine sleeping in the couch.”

“No, we can share here. The bed is really big for a petite girl like me. I will occupy the left side and you’ll just occupy the right side.”

“That’s fine as long us there are pillows in juxtaposition between us. You might take advantage of me,” he said before chuckling.

“You’re crazy!” I yelled as I started unpacking my luggage. He then too, did the same. Afterwards, he changed his clothes and asked me if I could accompany him for a walk. But I refused. So, he just let me stay to catch some Zs.

Before I take a quick nap while Myungsoo was away, I tried calling Donghae again and again. This time, his phone was ringing yet he wasn’t picking it up. Pissed off, I lied down, staring at nothing in particular until tears escaped out of my eyes. “It’s hurting too much...I don’t know what else to do.” I closed my eyes and forced myself to sleep while hugging myself alone amidst the deafening silence prevailing in the room.