Because of a blue scarf

We were only 7 back then when our little world collides. He made a smile when he received a rainbow lollipop my mother gave to every child that entered our house that Christmas day though he was lacking a front tooth then. He was prettily sitting on our couch with his legs crossed while joyously the lollipop he has in his hands. I was silently staring at his gestures. He never glanced at me though I was just sitting across him. I wanted to say hello to him, but I was so hesitant to do it. Not until my mother came and formally introduced us to each other.

“Oh, by the way, sweetie, this is my godson, Donghae. And Donghae, this is my beautiful daughter Jessica.” My mother said as she wrapped her arm around my shoulder. She was smiling while saying those words.

I looked at him with no reactions on my bare innocent face. He, on the other hand, continued what he was doing awhile ago— the lollipop.

“Aren’t you guys going to shake hands?” Mom queried.

The little boy stopped from the lollipop. He wiped the smudge on his mouth with his bare hands before extending it for a shake. “Hello! It’s nice to meet you.” He finally said with so much glee in his cute little eyes. But I was hesitant again to do a shake hands with him.

“You’re hands are dirty and your socks aren’t balance.” I uttered while pointing his hands and then the socks.

“I’m sorry.” He said as he pulled his socks to make it balance. “We can’t do the hand shake unless my hands are clean. Let me wash it first. Please excuse me.” He politely said before running fast to the wash room.

“I’m going to entertain other visitors, sweetie. Just give him my surprise. And you’re in-charge in entertaining my godson. Okay?”

Mother left without hearing my reply. I wasn’t a good entertainer at all. I hate entertaining people, especially those who aren’t close to me—like her godson. It was my first time to see and meet him. In short, I was feeling uncomfortable with Donghae around. What should I do? I asked myself as I put my hands under my chin and pouted my lips.

While waiting for Donghae to come, my eyes travelled around our living room. I saw a lot of my parents’ friends. They were chatting and drinking and having a good time. I looked for some children who age like me, but everyone was years younger than mine. I can’t play with babies.

I was marching my way to the veranda and sat on the cold steel chair while silently staring at the bright moon. I found tranquillity there. Not until someone surprised me from behind.  “Booooo!!!” that’s what I heard. “Waaaaahh!!” I cried out as I jumped off the chair. I was totally surprised because it was too dark there. I felt a chill.

I heard a loud laugh, and then the boy revealed himself. “I’m sorry if I shocked you.” He said, still laughing.

“Are you serious in saying sorry to me?” I said with furrowed eyebrows.

“Yes, I’m seriously saying my apology to you. I’m sorry…” He paused for awhile. “What’s your name again?” He queried.

“Jessica. I’m Jessica.” I said it twice, so, he could never forget of my name again.

“I’m sorry, Jessica. I didn’t know you easily get surprised.” He said with sincerity.

“Fine. I hope it will never happen again. Excuse me, I will get mother’s gift for you under the Christmas tree. Mom told me to give it to you when you come back.” I said as she stood up from my seat.

“Okay! I’ll wait for you here.” He replied with a tone of excitement.

I walked in and slowly shut the door. I was half-walking and half-running to where the Christmas tree stands tall. I hastily grabbed the box wrapped in a red paper with snowflakes design on it. I ran towards the door, but walked slowly when I was standing right before it. I opened the door wide enough for me to peak in. My eyes caught Donghae standing—watching the dark skies cried cold fluffy white balls. I marched with pointed toes. And when I was just right on his back, I returned the act.

“Boooo. . .” I said in a ghostly voice. Donghae jumped off his feet and yelled until his tonsil goes out of his mouth. I chuckled at the top of my lungs. I never stopped though my stomach was a bit hurt already.

“You’re crazy!” He yelled out with annoyance.

“I didn’t know it makes you scared like a cat.” I teased.

“I’m not scared. I’m just surprised by your act. That’s all. . .” He explained.

“Oh, you’re easily get shocked.”I teased again.

Donghae made a face. An annoyed face to be exact. He turned his back from me and never uttered a word.

“Don’t make such drama young man. It’s Christmas and we should all be happy and grateful.” I said, changing the scene to make it lighter.

“Yeah. . .it’s Christmas and yet you teased me over and over again.” He said badly off.

“I’m sorry. Okay? I teased you because I’m bemused with your facial expression.” I said with some tread on air.

“Really? Then if you’re happy with that face then I’m willing to do it everyday just to see that lovely smile of yours.” He said in a saccharine tone.

“Thank you.” I said with starry eyes.

“You’re welcome.” He replied and then he continues, “What’s that?” He pointed out the box on my hands.

“This? Ah, this is my mother’s gift for you.” I said as I handed the present to him.

He immediately opened it up. And he saw a well-knitted blue scarf with fluffy white balls hanging at each ends of it. I saw a smile on his face. A smile that makes my heart fluttered in the midst of the cold air.

“Try it on.” I cheerfully suggested.

He then wrapped it around his neck. “Oh, it feels so warm.” He said.

“Really?” I asked a little puzzled.

“Here, wear it for you to see.” He said as he wrapped it around my neck. His breathe reached my cold neck. I realized just then that he was such a gentle man.

“Can I hug you?” Donghae asked in shy tone. His face was blushing. And he was rubbing his hands at each other unstoppably.  I think he was nervous to ask such question. I, on the other hand, turned deaf after hearing his question. My lips were shaking for I couldn’t find an answer.

Without my word, Donghae grabbed my left arm and pulled me closer towards him. I felt my knees were shaking and my heart was rising. But despite those feeling I was suffering, I felt a sudden feeling that I couldn’t explain that moment. Our heartbeat beats as one. And it was a feeling of a 7 year old girl could once enjoy, but couldn’t further understand. It was a feeling that I couldn’t forget, a feeling that led me to treat him special.

Heartbeats

It’s the language of heart

That only lover could understand

His heart

My heart

Sharing the same beats

In the middle of the cold night