Part VII. (Ailee's Pov.)

Standing where it all began, i don't know if i'm stupid or what for letting myself hurt even more.

Maybe i was hoping that one day, i might felt nothing at all.

So he loves me..

Coward!

Such a jerk!

Stupid!

Idiot!

I wanted to slap him but guess it won't make any difference. It won't make him feel what i am actually feeling right now.

I didn't know when my tears stop flowing from my eyes. I guess after all, my eyes decided to get tired.

That's a good thing tho.

I'm tired of crying as well.

Its making me look more pathetic.

Without thinking, i lay down on the ground. Not minding the thick snow on the ground.

It felt good. I wanted to stay like this until the pain lingers.

I felt my hands starting to get dumb. I didn't mind. I close my eyes instead.

"What the hell are you doing?!"

I was shocked by that sudden voice. I opened my eyes to see Chen kneeling on my side.

"Stand up! Are you crazy?! I said stand up!"

He was yelling. I didn't flinch nor move.

"I said stand up!"

He pulled me up and quickly put the jacket he's carrying as soon as my feet on the icy ground.

"Let's go home."

I know he's mad but i can't just entertain him right now.

"Just let me.. Go home first."

I said no emotion on my voice. I pulled my hand that he's holding.

"We're going home. You just got from fever!"

He yelled again.

"Don't yell at me! Let me go! Mind your own business!"

I didn't know where that words came from. It's too late to take back what i've said cause hurt was written on his face.

He sighed and held my hand again pulling me along with him.

"Don't be stubborn. You look pale. How long have you been here?"

Guilt was adding up on my emotions. This is all too much for me.

"Jongdae! Let me go!"

I called out. He turned and looked at me.

"Goddamnit Amy! I'm getting tired of this!"

I was shocked. It was the first time i saw him like this. He looks like mad and frustrated.

"Don't just think about yourself! We're worried! At least get home and you can lock yourself in your room if you wanted to be alone! Not making it worser!"

I can't suddenly speak. I don't know what to say.. I guess i swallowed my tongue in that moment.

"I already told you! You don't have to take all of this alone! You have us! You have me! Don't make another stupid actions!"

He held my hands again and pulled me. We stayed silent as we walked back to the resthouse.

"I'm sorry for making you worry."

I started when i can't bare his facial expression. He has this very serious face i'm not used to see.

He stopped and sighed.

"Just don't do that again. You'll be the cause of my death, you silly cheek bag."

He turned around as he said that. He pulled me into his chest. By that, i can fully hear the sound of his heart.

He was already calm outside but his heart beating fast.

"I'm sorry.."

I apologized again.

"No.. I'm sorry for yelling at you. I shouldn't have done that."

He said as he playfully pat my head.

"Amy.."

He called out..

"I-uhm.."

"Hmm?"

Somehow it felt relax to be on his arms. It comfortable and made me calm.

"Nothing.. Let's get home. You're skin are getting paler and colder."

He gently assist me as we made our way to the resthouse again.

XXXXXXXXX

Everyone was awake and Chen helped me out when someone ask me where am i.

I can say i'm much better that earlier. I'm all calm and relax at the moment. Not really but enough to hide the pain in front of everyone.

"Hey! What about bbq night later?"

Kai suggested which made everyone agreed. Two days to go and we're back on our separate careers and it'll be another year later to have this kind of vacation again.

"We'll take in charge on going to the convenient store!"

Xuimin volunteered while pointing Luhan, Tao, Kris and Sehun.

"Girls will prepare the room and all!"

Tiffany declared.

I was silently listening to them. As much as i wanted to join the discussion, i was distracted by Baekhyun's sudden presence.

It looks like he just got woke up. Usual facial expression. I guess that's really it. Didn't even saw and guilt or regret from what happened.

Maybe it's just me keeps on holding on. I should really forget about my feelings for him.

But..

I can't even stop my self from stealing quick glances from his direction. He was eating, exchanging small talks with others and smiling. Of course! What else? None.

As if nothing really happened. Doesn't show any effects on him. Fine! If this what he really wants then be it!

As if i've been played by the fate, i met his eyes by mine's. I tried to cut it off but i can't take my eyes off him.

But he's the one who cut it off. He turned his head and started having conversation with the boys.

Of course the pain suddenly much more unbearable now, but i need to pull myself together. For myself.

"Amy! Have you check charts? You're killing it all! You slayed!"

Lay said as he showed me his phone. I was aware and so glad about it. But then it's not enough to cheer me up. To wash the pain i'm feeling right now.

"You have to sing that for us! Live and free hahahaha."

Sehun requested. I smiled in return.

"Of course."

I replied and gained a "yes" and "yay".

Soon we're all done eating and i helped out cleaning. I was aware that Chanyeol was giving me looks but i was ignoring it the whole time.

Unfortunately i was cornered by him when i tried to go back to my room.

"Amy."

I sighed before i turned around to face him. I gave him a smile with questioning look.

"How are you feeling? I mean do you still have a fever?"

 I knew the first question meant something else.

"I'm totally fine now Chan-chan. Don't worry."

It was clearly written on his face that he's not buying what i've said.

"Don't give me that look. I'm seriously fine."

He sighed and just nodded unwillingly. I smiled and tap his shoulder.

"I'll go ahead and rest since i woke up very early. See ya later!"

I said energetically and quickly turned around. I felt like my tears are going to betray me soon.

"If you need anything.. Just ask me Noona."

He said and i heard him sighed again.

"Thank you."

I turned left and head upstairs. Quickly locked my door as soon as i entered my room.

No matter how much i wanted to push away my feelings there's no way i can quit loving him.

Why does it so hard? I fell in love with him so fast but it's too hard to fall o